With their unforgiving New Wave imagery, one would have hoped that Portland's Glass Candy (or, as they're formally known, Glass Candy and the Shattered Theatre) could deliver the glammed-up goods. Yet despite the nonstop foxiness of singer Ida No, this trio just can't get it up. Holding on to a trashy, No Wave love of collapsing noise, the 25 minutes of this album dwell in a dank basement of sad self-absorption, refusing to let in the slightest ray of irony sunshine. When you look this good -- and, God, does Glass Candy look good -- you should at least have fun playing your music. Too bad this band is more concerned with the art part of "performance art."