Shorts No. 1 "Lost in Space"
Flat Love (4 Stars) "Write what you know," they say in their infinite wisdom, and Chilean short-film master Andrés Sanz heeds the advice. He writes magic because he knows magic; he directs living, breathing works of majesty because he knows life. In this, his latest flight of fancy, Sanz imagines an entirely flat Earth (literally two-dimensional, not in the Sherri Shepherd sense), which is how the main character sees everything, notably his great love, Lichtenstein's "Girl With Ball" at the Museum of Modern Art in New York. What follows is a see-it-to-believe-it head trip of jealousy, passion and two-dimensional glory.
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Glory at Sea (4 Stars) A narrative short that drew plenty of attention and awards during last year's festival circuit, Glory at Sea is a lyrical post-Katrina elegy about a man who unites the storm's survivors to rescue the souls of their loved ones. There's a kind of dream-like magic in its visuals.
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Happy Birthday (3 Stars) A femme in a serious lesbian relationship wants to be on top of her butch for her birthday. It's a request that seriously challenges their presumed roles, and the light, fun performances keep the short interesting despite a superfluous second couple and a reproductive subplot.
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Marooned? (3 Stars) A clever idea — a sci-fi role player bumps his head and thinks his friends dressed as aliens are real threats — and a finely shot Death Valley landscape help this slightly clunky student film achieve some level of competitiveness, though not enough to hang with the others in this shorts program.
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The Response (3 Stars) A courtroom drama in 20 minutes, The Response — which claims to be based on actual transcripts — shows how the military tribunals against so-called "enemy combatants" at Guantanamo Bay are like the inverse of Red Corner; the U.S. is trying Middle Easterners in a system that requires no evidence be presented to the accused, and phrases like "guilty" and "innocent" are antiquated terms. The Daily Show's Aasif Mandvi holds the screen with a captivating performance as an accused terrorist, and the direction builds in intensity nicely, but the film doesn't have anywhere to go afterward, much like today's Guantanamo prisoners.
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Trece Años (3 Stars) After 13 years in America, a young man returns to his Cuban home to find a family that's ecstatic to see him but is struggling to keep from unloading more than a decade's worth of issues onto him. The short film doesn't feel self-contained, more like a scene from a hopefully more interesting feature. Whether or not that's what director Topaz Adizes has in mind shouldn't matter in this context.
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Shorts No. 2: "Return to Sender"
Abbie Cancelled (3 Stars) A high-strung TV exec and her gas-huffing boyfriend host a dinner party that quickly devolves into a cringe-worthy clusterfuck in this entertaining romp.
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Asshole (3 Stars) A real asshole, played by Gavin McInnes, walks into a doctor's office for a checkup and gives his physician a hard time. If there were a hint of anything deeper to this short, it would be commendable — McInnes has a natural style that reads well — but no such luck.
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Crossroad (4 Stars) A rambler finds a purpose at a literal crossroads when he witnesses a car accident. The film is evocative in its simplicity and doesn't overreach for its message.
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The Loneliness of the Short-Order Cook (3 Stars) A Japanese immigrant runs out of time on his visa and has to bid adieu to East L.A. in this lush-but-flat-footed drama. Director Marcel Sawicki is a skilled technician and captures the vibrancy of the city well, but his reverence quickly becomes a quiet amble.
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Official Selection (5 Stars) Taking jabs at so-called "experimental" student and amateur films may be like shooting fish in a barrel, but filmmaker Brian Crano's dead aim is worth the experience. Fine actors like Vicky Cristina Barcelona's Rebecca Hall (as a hilariously self-involved Emily Dickinson) and Dominic Cooper (The Duchess) assist Crano in deconstructing everything festivalgoers loathe and love about no-budget movies, from blown-out audio to pretentiously meaningless dialogue. Crano even goes so far as to provide commentary over the film, not as a DVD extra but on the actual film. Talk about committing to a joke.
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Water Pills (4 Stars) The perils of stage mothers and their vicarious vessels, otherwise known as children, are front and center in this moving drama from debut writer-director and former child actor Blake Sennett, who's also the guitarist for Rilo Kiley. (The band's singer, Jenny Lewis, was a kiddie star too.) Sennett's former girlfriend, Winona Ryder, herself one of the most famous teen ingénues Hollywood has produced, gives a bravura performance as the stripped-to-the-bone, pill-popping mom of a would-be child star. Together they schlep to auditions as Ryder's mental state seems to hang on the balance of every callback. Sennett's evocative sense of place promises a great future for him behind the camera.
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Shorts #3: "Wrongs of Passage"
Boutonniere (2 Stars) Overacting Wendi McLendon-Covey (Reno 911) stars as an overbearing, homeschooling mother in this underwhelming short in which her pouty daughter is subjected to home prom horrors. Especially puzzling is gay-vamping Zachary Quinto of Star Trek in a cameo.
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Cochran (3 Stars) James D. Cochran stars as himself, a small-town Pennsylvania loner who likes guns, magic and fire, in that order. The short film is a loving tribute to the simple man that life doesn't throw away so much as forgets about.
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Concerto (2 Stars) A troubled cop catches his wife's lover in the act and makes him take a walk with him, at gunpoint, into the woods. That's where they share each other's pain and play the violin. Just shoot me, already.
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Girl Parts (1 Star) A plodding poke at the millennial gender reversal in sexual aggressiveness, this short imagines what the world would look like if high-school girls talked the way director Erik Gernand imagines high-school boys talk. Hint to Gernand: They already do and this isn't it.
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Goodbye Canarsie (3 Stars) In her book How Not To Make a Short Film, author Roberta Marie Munroe says of the stereotypical gangster short film: "The Hughes Brothers moved on — so should you." That goes double for this mob-story-with-a-heart snoozer, because they actually go for a period piece too. Neither works particularly well.
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Jealous Husband Returns (4 Stars) Both humorous and touching, this short from FSU features a man killed by jealousy and reincarnated as his former wife's pet parrot. Incorporating spoken word poetry and stellar performances behind and in front of the camera, writer-director Paul Seetachitt is a true filmmaker in progress.
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Rite (2 Stars) A sharp-looking-but-hollow film by UCF grad Alicia Conway that analogizes a girl's cotillion with the Yakuza pinkie-sacrificing ritual of Yubitsume. Although the macabre, surreal nature of the ceremony registers the sense of confusion and menace behind such rites of passage that women everywhere can probably relate to, Rite uses emotion as a substitute for cohesion.
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Shorts No. 4: "Deer on Fire"
The Break Up (1 Star) An unbearably tone-deaf scene of a man's struggle to break free from a crazy girlfriend that takes an eternity to arrive at a horrifyingly unsatisfying end. So at least it's metaphorically accurate.
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Doppelganger (5 Stars) Beautifully shot, acted and constructed, this narrative short features two twins, an overbearing father and one of the twins taking drastic measures to get answers about his role in the family. Director Katharine O'Brien is one of the most promising of the festival.
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Forget My Name (4 Stars) A charming snippet about a suicidal (but rational) woman who operates a pirate call-in program about how best to commit suicide. Solid performances mark a surprisingly sweet meet-cute.
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I Kicked Luis Guzman in the Face (3 Stars) In this slightly outdated cautionary tale for the MySpace age, a mild-mannered kid becomes famous for telling the titular lie until good sport Guzman shows up at his door. The gut-busting punchline is spoiled by an overwrought and unnecessary denouement.
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Memphis Calling (4 Stars) The Office's brilliant Craig Robinson plays it straight in this short film about a prisoner who dials his inmate number hoping for some form of human contact. The briskly paced conversation packs an excellent sucker-punch ending.
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Our Neck of the Woods (5 Stars) Director Rob O'Connolly expertly corrals novelist Joe Meno's absurdist world of spontaneously combusting lawn ornaments and enchanting immigrants into a short film with ideas enough to sustain what would be a magical full-length.
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Rosy (3 Stars) Broadway ingénue Rosie Benton is the only reason to sit through this meandering and ultimately pointless exercise in romantic style. The camera loves Benton and soaks up every ounce of her penetrating, heart-capturing glow.
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Shorts No. 5: Animated Shorts
Birth (3 Stars) We know from our nation's reproductive education in schools that simple scientific answers regarding birth simply won't do. Misinformation is a right, even at home, as one pregnant teenager finds out in this amusing social commentary.
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Botnik! (2 Stars) A mostly silent and jazzy sendup of the art world that's just a bit too meandering. A painter promises he's putting on an art show that night to a beautiful woman and has to come up with, well, art with the help of a robot.
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Elephant Girl (3 Stars) Beware the insect! This CG rendition of an enchanted fantasy is heavy on goo but light on story.
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Flute Babies (4 Stars) Mostly an aural experience of texture and imagination, this animated short indulges in the absurd without losing its wonder.
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From Burger It Came (4 Stars) Filmmaker Dominic Bisignano remembers thinking as a kid that he'd contracted AIDS from eating a classmate's hamburger, a laughable idea made deadly serious by the lack of accurate information provided by his Catholic school and his own mom, who helps tell the anecdote. It's so wrong it's downright hysterical.
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Horn Dog: (4 Stars) In his second sequel to the Oscar-nominated animated short Guard Dog, Bill Plympton (Idiots and Angels) gives us the story of a simple dog just trying to break him off some sweet upscale breed tail. Typical of Plympton's work, the film is simple, effective and totally sick.
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I Am So Proud of You (5 Stars) A stunning gut-punch of a short film that recalls Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece with its stick-figure profundity, Proud is the latest mortality play from Oscar-nominated director Don Hertzfeldt, and it lives up to its pedigree, boldly taking on concepts like family, pain and loss. An intermission might be necessary after this program so audiences can step outside and catch their breath. It's that effective.
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Kaleidoscoptics (4 Stars) Wildly creative and experimental in spirit, this stop-motion acid trip weaves colorful imagery with a trance-like soundtrack for a truly memorable few minutes.
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The Royal Nightmare (4 Stars) Simplicity goes a long way on a short film, and it doesn't get more simple than this black-and-white royal farce in which a series of mishaps leads to death, dismemberment and aliens.
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Sebastian's Voodoo (4 Stars) A dark, strangely touching short about a voodoo doll's revenge on its practicioner and his ultimate sacrifice for the good of dolls everywhere.
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Tales of Mere Existence (4 Stars) This new trio of monotone soliloquies from Lev Yilmaz (whose cynically brilliant comics were recently collected in the book Sunny Side Down: A Collection of Tales of Mere Existence) this time examining what kind of person he becomes in various relationships, the different kinds of jobs he might want and why his last relationship didn't work ("I liked that she had such a sharp bullshit detector but I hated when she used it on me"). These are always worth a bitter, snarky laugh.
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Documentary Shorts
And What Remains (1 Star) A fabulously self-absorbed documentary filmmaker drags his son to his father's old stomping grounds to ask, "What defines a father?" and, "How will you remember me, son?" while making his kin pose awkwardly for the camera in moments of self-reflection. On the train tracks. Holding hands. Utterly absurd.
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Art and Copy (4 Stars) The best moments of the TV show Mad Men come when the dapper creative and account execs hit upon a spectacular idea that will help whore a product to the masses. Art and Copy is a friendly sit-down with the real advertising geniuses who rule the world. We see surfer Lee "Apple: 1984" Clow, George "Esquire covers" Lois, Jeff "Got Milk?" Goodby and many others providing their philosophies on why and how they sell the world. If anything keeps this technically superb doc from true greatness it's director Doug Pray's (Hype!) inability to contain these figures' self-aggrandizement.
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Germans in the Woods (4 Stars) Originally recorded for NPR's Morning Edition, an American World War II vet describes his killing of a German soldier and how it still haunts him. His memory is brought to life by imaginative, fluid animation.
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The Lost Tribes of New York City (5 Stars) If NYC's pay phones, newspaper boxes and airport luggage could talk, as this efficient, uproarious short suggests, they'd be just as interesting as their melting-pot human companions. And the manhole covers would be French.
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Out of Print (3 Stars) A blink-and-you-miss-it vid-log of DIY cultural archeology that takes us through sadly antiquated notions of record-crate digging, VCR-to-VCR dubbing and (gasp!) actually going to the library to find out-of-print books. A fun rant.
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People Like Us (4 Stars) This documentary focuses on the passage of the Orlando city ordinance outlawing the feeding of the homeless in public parks and the subsequent arrest of a rogue feeder (Orlando Food Not Bombs' Eric Montanez). People Like Us is one of the few short docs in the festival that could stand to be expanded to feature length. Despite certain clarity issues — the most important exposition is superimposed with shaky handheld footage, making it impossible to follow the details — the enlightening, often enraging moments captured here (commissioner Daisy Lynum, who voted for the feeding ban, calls some of the impassioned testimony "hilarious") are certain to provoke debate.
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Pickin' and Trimmin' (2 Stars) The kind of folksy, senior-citizens-doing-cute-things cook-up that even Sundance still has a regrettable soft spot for, Pickin' and Trimmin' highlights a down-home barber shop that fronts as a retirement home for bluegrass junkies. Upward of 15 seniors at once will meet in the shop's back room between haircuts to rock out some stellar prairie jams. There's some joy in watching them, but at the expense of feeling a contagious condescension.
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Push Button House (3 Stars) New York architect Adam Kalkin "played with dirt" when he was a kid. That's his defense when one of the visitors to his display of a concept he's developed called the "push button house" compares his creations to Transformers, the '80s robot toys. He has no idea what Transformers are, even though these storage crates that mechanically unfold into houses at the push of a button are, quite literally, the embodiment of the Hasbro phenomena. This documentary takes us through the building of one such house, but falls short in its endeavor to make either Kalkin or his design more than a novelty.
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Sell It to the Hedge Funds (1 Star) Anyone who's ever been a phone-sales jockey will recognize the rejection and ecstasy that IT hustler Haven Pell goes through in the four minutes of this film, but that doesn't make him or his job any more likable, or even relatable. You'll want to hang up on him as quickly as the CFOs on the other end of his line.
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The Sheriff (2 Stars) To his credit, director Jeff M. Giordano went out and found himself a fascinating subject: Eugene "Moe" Alexander, beloved elderly employee of a mattress plant who wears a sheriff's badge, handcuffs and a police scanner from Radio Shack that also serves to lull him to sleep. Unfortunately, Giordano knows too well how good a find Alexander is and wastes the opportunity with half-executed camera flourishes and long, lingering close-ups so transparent that you can practically hear the filmmakers' pre-production meetings about them.
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Suspended (3 Stars) A micro-doc of high technical caliber, Suspended, which also played the Sundance Film Festival recently, is an exercise in capturing small moments of stillness in public life the world over: a frozen wedding-picture pose, a religious monument that causes people to stop and cross themselves, a bingo game. While beautifully shot, the energy that seeps through these moments, the inherent kinetic humanness, tends to undermine the concept, leaving the film without much of a core.
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Florida Shorts: The Best of Brouhaha
The Adventures of Larry and Tina (4 Stars) About as good as a student-filmed music video can get, it's a hip-hop narrative about a stripper and her cuckolded man that features a latex mask and plenty of swinging lightbulbs. The song, by duo Wax and Eom, does a lot of the heavy lifting, but the editor's expert grasp on captivating flow gets the video afloat.
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After the Storm (2 Stars) When ambitious film students try to tell a feature-length idea for a melodrama in 20 minutes, everyone loses. This film, despite a solid performance from Aaron D. Spears, looks at a family torn apart by the husband's decision to stay with his home during a devastating hurricane. Tragedy ensues, but we can't care because we're still getting to know these people. It's surprising that one of FSU's professors didn't rein this in more.
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Elevator Germs (3 Stars) A cute, very brief sojourn into textured animation finds a germophobe forced to give CPR to a sick, possibly dying old man.
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Gotch Ya' (4 Stars) A clever, accessible CGI story of a monster playing with his unique dinner. In just a couple of minutes it accomplishes what few shorts ever do: It puts a smile on your face.
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My Four-Inch Precious (4 Stars) The FSU film program scores with this magical fantasy about a tiny dream woman who sprouts from a flower and the man who cares for her. The capable special effects don't get in the way of the quirky performances.
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Normal Kids (3 Stars) Normal can be a tough word to swallow for children with muscular dystrophy, but this film from FSU spotlights a family with the rare misfortune of having all four boys afflicted with the condition. It's a straightforward human-interest documentary short.
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Oviedo Chickens (3 Stars) Apparently there are a lot of chickens roaming the streets of Oviedo. That's the topic of this Full Sail short, narrated by an entertaining lifelong resident.
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Sam Rivers: Jazz Master of the Moment (2 Stars) There aren't many musical subjects more worthy of documentary treatment than local jazz legend Sam Rivers, but this sloppy student film from FSU isn't the one. Centered around a jazz session and a Q&A in Harlem to remember the days when his RivBea Studio was just a basement, this short is too broad to say anything new and too beholden to come off as anything more than a handy electronic press kit.
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Snow Day (3 Stars) Fine detail and a basic plot told through ADD eyes, this animated short features a T. rex trying to bundle up for the Ice Age. Socks are a problem for the tiny-armed creature.
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The Visionary (3 Stars) Simple and manic, this animated story about a frog attempting to wear contact lenses for the first time is certainly relatable but a bit too manic for its own good.
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Visits (2 Stars) A miss, but a noble one. In a neighborhood where pets are not only banned but don't exist, a cute little bunny shows up and won't go away. It may be a profound comment on the irrepressible nature of life's vitality (or something), but it's unconvincing and overly concerned with shot selection.
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Welcome to Apartment Place Landings (4 Stars) The UCF filmmakers had a little too much fun with this mock '80s instructional video. But despite the overlong running time, the subtle, spot-on digs at generic corporate videography ring uproariously true.
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What Lies Ahead (2 Stars) You know what medium is the least equipped to tackle the issue of race relations in American history? Student films. But that doesn't stop this FSU submission about a black man falsely accused of thievery from trying.
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Italian Cinema Night: Short Films
Afterville (4 Stars) It's 50 years from now and the world is watching a global countdown toward an apparently alien-enabled Armageddon. Several spaceships crash-landed in Italy years prior, and a famous scientist decrypted their signal. Now they wait. But all one man wants to do is kiss his great love one last time … if he can find her. Mixing elements of Cloverfield and V: The Final Battle, co-directors Fabio Guaglione and Fabio Resinaro evoke a genuine sense of tension and scope and utilize their seemingly hefty budget in smart, effective ways..
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Barefoot on the Stage (5 Stars) This Italian import is everything a short film should be: succinct, simple and charming. A thespian hopeful auditions before a hard-to-please director, abiding by his every request. She sings, dances, perfectly imitates animal sounds and in a capper I won't spoil, even showcases her superhuman powers. But as any actor can tell you, that's not always enough.
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Because There Are Things You Never Forget (2 Stars) A group of little shits take revenge on an old lady for popping their ball … by murdering her. Director Lucas M. Figueroa's Jeunet-esque cinematic flair is admirable, but his framing of the story is puzzling, which turns the film from cute to tasteless in no time.
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Clacson (2 Stars) A well-made, if sadistic, short film that follows a man trying to maintain a calm and peaceful morning, a woman who's making that impossible thanks to a double-parked car, and his eventual revenge on the clang and clatter of everyday life. The punchline is clever but troubled and says more about director Tak Kuroha than it does about his characters.
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A Heart Inside the Sea (2 Stars) Vince (Alessandro Rugnone) has the misfortune of being in love with his childhood friend, but he also carries the burden of being stuck in this clichéd woe-is-me tale. Director Claudia La Bianca makes use of every technique that gives short films, especially foreign ones, a bad name: meaningless cutaways, the depressed chain-smoker, a vaguely mystical ending, you name it.
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The Retreating (3 Stars) A 13-year-old Italian girl falls for and takes care of an AWOL German soldier toward the end of World War II. The ambrosial production values elevate the material beyond its shopworn plot.
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International Animated Shorts
1977 (4 Stars) A rare short that's not just about something, but about everything. Director Peque takes us on a trip through her passive passage from infancy to girl forced into a dress, and on until her emergence as a confident woman. The forces of conformity are expressed at every turn through cultural, technological and societal trends that come out in the animation. 1977 will stay with you long after the program ends.
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The Big Store (1 Star) Excruciatingly pointless, this one-trick pony featuring a mall populated by skeletons couldn't die soon enough.
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The Cable Car (4 Stars) Cable cars, particularly the tiny death traps that take you from the bottom of a mountain to what I always imagine will be a horrifying falling death, scare the bejesus out of me. This German short, featuring an old man in a rickety suicide machine held together by duct tape and hope, also scared the bejesus out of me. That's a compliment.
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Chainsaw (4 Stars) To picture a graphic, earth-shattering sex scene between Ava Gardner and her bullfighter lover Luis Miguel Dominguín only takes a libido and some imagination. To frame it amid the story of Gardner's fictional logger husband and the actual legendary bull named Chainsaw takes guts and brilliance. Director Dennis Tupicoff has both in spades, and his rotoscopic adventure shouldn't be missed.
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KJFG No. 5 (3 Stars) A band of forest animals — literally, a band — try to hit the right notes. It's cute but lacks a strong finish.
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Lies (2 Stars) Three anecdotes from people who have lied about themselves at some point in their lives with varying degrees of success. The Swedish short is composed in a distracting, consumerist style.
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Mite (3 Stars) This short is notable for its live action/stop-motion combo style, but not much else. The story is of a man taking care of his grandmother and helping her with a gigantic termite problem (as in, gigantic termites).
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Patience of the Memory (4 Stars) Strikingly painted scenes of nature and industry merge before our eyes as this German and Spanish experimental short uses the screen as a canvas.
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Procrastination (1 Star) A tedious idea is made worse by excruciatingly slow editing, despite creative animation.
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Snowtime (4 Stars) One sweet minute of a pet's revenge on his whiny owner features a take-no-shit puppy.
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The Surprise Demise of Francis Cooper's Mother (review pending)
The Tourists (2 Stars) A pencil-drawn beach ode to Speedo-wearing sun worshippers that goes nowhere, but at least does it quickly.
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International Shorts
The Funk (3 Stars) A super-dark but wondrously composed tale of a man's last day on earth from Australian director Cris Jones.
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Grandma and Wrestling (2 Stars) No good deed done for your grandmother goes unpunished, says this short film from Korea. It's a sweet concept, but the execution comes off as amateurish.
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Instead of Abracadabra (5 Stars) The Swedes aren't known for their charming, light cinema, but they do watch American movies, and this one from director Patrik Eklund shows that the influence of Wes Anderson is universal. In the short film, an offbeat man in his mid-20s is convinced he can win over his beautiful neighbor with magic tricks. Abracadabra is a winning story deftly executed on all sides.
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Like Other People Do (3 Stars) A confusing but warm fable of heart-shaped cookies and the fascinating lives people lead behind their front doors.
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Love You More (5 Stars) A prep-school boy in the late '70s bonds with his hot classmate when they both try to buy the new Buzzcocks single. Before they even get to the B-side: total loss of innocence. A Sundance winner this year, the film's spot-on sense of style and raw sexuality is urgent and primal, like the Buzzcocks and like your first time. Also, look for Pete Shelley in a cameo.
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Señor X (3 Stars) Don't you hate the way suburban houses all look so alike that you can come home to your beautiful, kinky wife and realize too late that that's not your beautiful wife? So muses this harmless comedy from Spain.
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Terminus (5 Stars) Pieces of a city's architecture come to life and follow citizens around everywhere, wordlessly, like so many assholes. The special effects employed in the film's precious few minutes are breathtaking and, most important, have personality. Canadian creator Trevor Cawood, in his directorial debut — he's an SFX veteran who worked on the Matrix sequels — could be the industrial answer to Spike Jonze.
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Tile M For Murder (4 Stars) A fun short in which a couple at the breaking point in their marriage play a game of Scrabble in which the words spelled out are coming true. They race to spell each other's doom first. A giddy Nicolas Cage just phoned his agent.
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Vuth Learns to Rock (3 Stars) What would it be like to introduce a grown man to rock? Not a subgenre, but rock & roll, period. That's the concept at work in this effective short which, despite its faintly patronizing aroma, redeems itself with close-ups of a Cambodian resident who stops by the Zeppelin Café, where the owner is happy to put on a record and initiate beginners. He starts Vuth out with the Kinks' "You Really Got Me," and that tiny smile that's captured is worth a thousand words.
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