What to watch this week: Noomi Rapace stars in 'Constellation' on Apple TV+

Plus a new ripped-from-the-headlines Tyler Perry, English Premier League footballers' wives, Chappelle's comedy posse and more

click to enlarge Look to the skies, er, screens for "Constellation" Wednesday - Photo courtesy of Apple TV+
Photo courtesy of Apple TV+
Look to the skies, er, screens for "Constellation" Wednesday

Premieres Wednesday, 2/21:

Can I Tell You a Secret? — A Guardian podcast was the impetus for this documentary about Matthew Hardy, the U.K. cyberstalker who victimized 63 women over the course of 11 years. But that's nothing compared to how long America has been in the terrifying grip of Ed Hardy. (Netflix)

Constellation — A far-reaching conspiracy may be to blame when an astronaut (Noomi Rapace) returns to Earth and finds she can no longer account for vast swaths of her life. If the name "Noomi Rapace" seems to ring a bell, she used to be The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Speaking of vast swaths of your life going missing. (Apple TV+)

The Family Stallone — Sly and Jen move to Palm Beach in Season 2, looking for something to do with their days now that their three daughters are out of the house. Gee, the last time they found themselves at loose ends, she filed for divorce and he had his tattoo of her removed. Maybe this time they'll just make s'mores. (Paramount+)

Messi's World Cup: The Rise of a Legend — Let Argentine football legend Lionel Messi share with you how it felt to win five consecutive World Cups. Then try not to blurt out "Wow! Five cups means 10 girls!" (Apple TV+)

Star Wars: The Bad Batch — Season 3 is the last roundup for our band of genetically mutated clone troopers, who need all the help they can get to finally break free of the Empire. After that, I guess they'll be hitting the autograph circuit at the cons like everybody else. (Disney+)

Premieres Thursday, 2/22:

Avatar: The Last Airbender — Actor Kiawentiio Tarbell, who portrays the waterbender Katara in this live-action version of the hit anime, told The Wrap she's happy their adaptation has muted some of the more sexist elements of the original. But you know what they say: If your water bends, it's funny. If your water breaks, it's not funny. (Netflix)

Death in the Dorms — Season 2 examines tragic losses of life at Jackson State University, Louisiana State University, Temple University, Binghamton University, the College of Charleston and the University of Miami. Dag, can't they go one season without a Florida school being represented? Some of us would really like to get a guilt-free drinking game out of this. (Hulu)

Jellystone! Season 3A — After a hiatus of nearly two years, the Hanna-Barbera update series is back to have more fun deconstructing the beloved characters of your childhood. I understand Doggie Daddy has developed some invaluable insights into no-fault divorce. (Max)

LOL: Chi fa Ridere è Dentro — The fourth season of the Italian talent competition starts with auditions in Naples and Milan and climaxes with the crowning of a winner at the grand finale in Rome. Notice they're bypassing Vatican City, because nobody could out-funny the Catholic Church. (Prime Video)

Premieres Friday, 2/23:

Apartment404 — Jennie from BLACKPINK is among the contestants in a reality variety show that sends the residents of an apartment complex scurrying to demystify "extraordinary events" that occurred on the premises. Working titles included Only Weird Cooking Smells in the Building and I'm a Korean Celebrity ... Get This Black Mold Out of Here! (Prime Video)

Formula 1: Drive to Survive — Season 6 documents the record-breaking success of Max Verstappen, whose performance in 2023 F1 racing season won him his third consecutive championship. OK, maybe that's a spoiler. But you'll still have to watch to find out if he did it wearing pants. (Netflix)

History of Evil — Forces both supernatural and otherwise bedevil a political refugee and his family as they seek to escape the clutches of the U.S. government, which has been hijacked by tyrannical religious fanatics. See, this is why Iowa should never have gotten to hold its primary first. (Shudder & AMC+)

The Indrani Mukerjea Story: Buried Truth — Four documentary episodes probe the disappearance of a 25-year-old woman from an upper-caste Indian family. Sure, these things get lots of attention when the victim is young, hot and blond. (Wait a minute ... ) (Netflix)

Married to the Game — What do the wives of English Premier League footballers like Ilkay Gündogan, Jorginho, James Tarkowski, Matt Turner and Riyad Mahrez do during the off season? If you find out from watching this reality show, please tell Taylor Swift, because she has some serious down time to fill. (Prime Video)

Mea Culpa — Tyler Perry pays tribute to steamy old-school thrillers with his latest flick, which casts Kelly Rowland as an attorney caught up in an attraction to the accused wife-murderer she's defending. Great, just what we all needed to overturn the patriarchy: an Adrian Lyne movie for the Fani Willis years. (Netflix)

Poacher — Wildlife crime is the central theme of a drama series on Prime that tracks the illicit ivory trade across India. Executive producer Alia Bhatt, a committed environmentalist, is also the founder of the online platform Coexist. Nice that she's putting all that bumper-sticker money to good use. (Prime Video)

The Second Best Hospital in the Galaxy — The misadventures of two extraterrestrial surgeons play out in an animated series that features the voices of Maya Rudolph, Natasha Lyonne and all five Culkin brothers. But why does Kieran need a surgeon? I thought he had been successfully detached from those other guys. (Prime Video)

Through My Window: Looking at You — Spain promises that this third entry in their Through My Window series of teen romances is the last one they're going to send us. Which I guess means that even though Raquel and Ares are nominally with other partners now, they'll be getting back together again by the end of the flick. Or maybe the twist is that they all go poly and the whole thing moves to Adult Prime for Chapter Four. (Netflix)

Premieres Saturday, 2/24:

The 30th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards — Since she's been shut out of the Oscar race, will SAG throw Margot Robbie a bone and give her their gold? Or will they try to convince her the "Best Stunts" group award is partially for her bold advancements in the art of walking on tippy-toes? (Netflix)

Premieres Monday, 2/26:

Dublin Murders — The works of author Tana French yield a thriller in which bestie detectives hunt for a killer who's doing his evil business just outside the Irish capital. "My client was in Vegas the entire time!" — Bono's lawyer. (AMC+ & Acorn TV)

HIP: High Intellectual Potential — The new season of the French-Belgian police procedural delves into cases like a murder from five decades ago that can only be solved with the help of its sole surviving eyewitness — who happens to have Alzheimer's. And now I'm really sorry I squandered a "Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown" joke less than a month ago. (AMC+ & Acorn TV)

Premieres Tuesday, 2/27:

Chappelle's Home Team — Donnell Rawlings: A New Day — Executive producer Dave Chappelle presents a stand-up special by another longstanding member of his comedy posse who's never had a solo turn in the Netflix spotlight. Some people say Dave is transphobic and antisemitic, but I really admire how he's always helping out the little goy. (Netflix)



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