25 Orlando tourist traps and where you should go instead

Skip DisneyQuest for WonderWorks
DisneyQuest has somehow survived every major budget cut happening at WDW. A closing was announced by Disney awhile back, but if rumors are believed to be true, the NBA Experience that was replacing it has since been dropped. DisneyQuest is still open, but it’s on life support. Skip this expensive time warp to the 1990s and head over to WonderWorks instead. It has many of the same attractions, like the virtual roller coaster, but WonderWorks is constantly adding new things (check out their latest Mold-O-Rama!) and updating old things. The difference is noticeable and WonderWorks still keeps that 1990s feel, but it has enough new things that you won’t leave feeling like you just stepped back in time.

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Skip Food & Wine at Epcot for Taste of the Nation
Epcot’s Food & Wine Festival has become a major contender for the most over-hyped local event. Massive crowds, drunk LAX bros and over the top prices for ever-decreasing portions have made Food and Wine unbearable. Skip all the craziness and almost dead musicians for a true culinary experience. The annual Taste of the Nation is a great event with over a hundred local restaurants showcasing their premier culinary creations. After you enter, everything is included (except the silent auction items, of course). Wine, beer, a little bit of booze and TONS of bite-sized portions. You’ll be able to meet many local chefs, have live entertainment and it’s all inside so no worries if it rains. Plus, unlike Food and Wine at Epcot, Taste of the Nation funds go to help local food pantries so you’ll know your money is going to a great cause. If you want more than just a single night of food exploring, try Busch Gardens’ Food and Wine instead of Epcot’s. It has a similar booth model as Epcot, but with reasonably priced portions, more craft beer and more year to year variety.

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Skip the bus tours of Orlando for SunRail
Skip the canned tours of Orlando and instead sit back to enjoy scenery that’s often hidden to car commuters. Orlando is filled with beautiful scenery and the SunRail commuter train runs past much of it. Park your car at the Sand Lake Road station and hop on the train, making sure to sit upstairs for the best views. You’ll pass the historic old Orlando Train Station, smoothly gliding past downtown before pulling up to the Florida Hospital Health Village. From there the train goes right through the middle of Central Park in Winter Park. While traveling through Maitland you get a glimpse at its downtown. The highlight of the train ride is the beautiful trip across the St. Johns River. You’ll have to hop off the train at the final stop, but after a few minutes you’ll be able to hop right back on for a return trip. The trip is well worth the $5 it costs.

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Skip Old Town in Kissimmee for Winter Garden
Old Town used to be the go-to spot on a Saturday night, now it feels more like the leftovers from Bike Week in Daytona. Skip this ‘has been’ of a tourist trap and instead go explore an actual old town. Winter Garden is a safe bet. With great food, unique shopping and a full calendar of events, this city offers more than the fake one on 192.

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Skip Transformers for Spider-Man
Spider-Man is nearly two decades old and it still continues to be one of the most popular rides in the industry. The cutting edge ride technology used in Spider-Man was replicated in Transformers next door at Universal Studios Florida. But unlike Spidey, Transformers leans heavily on 3D technology while downplaying any practical effects within the ride itself. Skip the #screenz heavy Transformers and go to the original, and still the best, use of the technology next door with Spider-Man

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Skip 192 for I-Drive
Before the Great Recession, 192 was the spot for off-site motels, t-shirt shops and attractions, but now much of that has closed. Empty buildings line the street and many of the motels now have more homeless living in them than actual tourists staying in them. Just skip 192 altogether and instead check out International Drive. The same quirky attractions that used to line 192 are found here, such as mini-golf and t-shirt shops, but this tourist strip also includes attractions like the SeaLife Aquarium, Skeletons and Titanic. Kissimmee keeps trying to revive 192 but for now I-Drive is a much better alternative.

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Skip One Ocean for Dine with Shamu
The One Ocean show just isn’t that interesting anymore. Large amounts of the show is dancing fountains, odd audience interactions and splashing. Skip the show for the Dine with Shamu experience. Here you’ll get much closer to the orcas, see some of their regular backstage care and be able to learn more about these majestic creatures firsthand. The food isn’t bad and the price is usually very reasonable.

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Skip Dream Along With Mickey for the Rope Drop Ceremony
Dream Along With Mickey has been a mainstay at Magic Kingdom for years, but even as this classic show readies for its departure you should go ahead and skip it. The show is in the hub, which just isn’t designed for these types of shows. Skip the crowds, the middle of the day heat and the show you’ve probably already seen dozens of times before. Just show up early and catch the Rope Drop Ceremony instead. Rumors point to the rope drop ceremony changing dramatically in the next few months, but for now it’s hosted at the front of the park. The show features many characters, including Mickey and Minnie. Catching tunes, backup dancers and even fireworks makes this show a decent alternative to the Dream Along With Mickey show.

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Skip DAK’s Song of the Rainforest for a walk through Rainforest Café
This overlooked attraction back in the Conservation Station features listening to animal sounds in a darkened sound booth. Yep, that’s it. Skip this odd headphone listening experience and just swing by Rainforest Café when you exit Animal Kingdom. Most of the same nature sounds will be playing in the café that are found in the Song of the Rainforest attraction, but here there’s animatronics to back up the sounds. The difference is very noticeable.

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Skip the I-Drive outlets for the 535 outlets
The outlet malls in Central Florida are amazing. The sheer scope and popularity of them make the shops an attraction in their own right, but that popularity can also mean a fight just to get to the malls, then an endless search for parking and bumping shoulders with huge crowds just to buy some clothes on discount. Skip all of that hassle by going to the Lake Buena Vista Outlets on 535 instead. They have many of the same stores, but the location and the parking lot design make these outlets easier to access. With the parking in the middle, you’re never far from your car either, so you can take as many trips as needed to drop off bags.

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Skip Ellen’s Universe of Energy for a meal at T-Rex
Universe of Energy used to be cool but the attraction is starting to show its age. The agenda of the corporate sponsor is glaringly obvious in our eco-focused 2016 reality. The ride is 45 mins filled mostly with bad 1990s jokes and poorly done special effects. The dinosaurs are cool, but that part of the ride just isn’t enough to overcome the other parts that are shoddily done. Skip all that for a meal at T-Rex. Here you’ll get similar dinosaur animatronics and much less corporate agenda. Plus T-Rex has a great bar. Booze and dinosaurs trump Ellen and dinosaurs any day.

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Skip Winter Park for Mt. Dora
Winter Park is a great place to enjoy some window shopping and a good meal, but weekends on Park Avenue have become downright Magic Kingdom-level busy. The sidewalks are packed to the brim with tourists and most restaurants have reservations booked weeks in advance. Skip all of the hassle to finding parking, a place to eat and maneuvering crowds for the much less crowded Mt. Dora. Boat tours, local museums and art galleries fill downtown Mt. Dora. The food scene isn’t what Winter Park’s is but that’s not to say anything bad about it. Mt. Dora has a number of great restaurants in its downtown and most can accommodate walk-ups even during the busiest times of the year.

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Skip I-Drive putt putt for on-property putt putt
Orlando has plenty of putt putt options out there, but skip feeding the gators, putting past waterfalls and through caves. Instead check out some of the on-property putt-putt options at the theme parks. CityWalk has one of the best themed mini golf experiences in town with two courses, one themed to horror films and the other to sci-fi. Over at Disney World, there’s two putt putt locations, each with two courses. All four Disney courses are excellently themed and entertaining to walk through. It’s time to update putt putt beyond caves and waterfalls, and Disney and Universal are leading that charge.

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Skip Toy Story Mania for Men In Black
Toy Story Mania has notoriously long lines. The waits easily reach beyond an hour within minutes of the park’s opening. All that for a ride that’s a glorified Wii in front of TV #screenz. Then after waiting over an hour to play a Wii you’re stuck in a park with not much more to do. Skip all of that and instead head over to Universal Studios to ride Men in Black. This shooter ride is everything that Toy Story Mania isn’t. Practical sets, tons of hidden gems and easier to use guns. No 3D glasses required.

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Skip the majority of dinner shows for Mango’s
Orlando is filled with dinner shows, and sadly most of them suck. Skip the overpriced, poorly written whodunits and low-budget pirate shows for a meal at Mango’s Tropical Café. With millions spent on a state of the art light system and a collection of entertainers, most casino-goers would die for a meal here. The show is non-stop all evening so don’t worry about missing the first act. From Michael Jackson impersonators to jabbawockeez style dancers this show is much more impressive than the vast majority of dinner shows in town.

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Skip Spirit of Aloha Luau for the Wantilan Luau
The Spirit of Aloha is one of the most popular dinner shows in all of Orlando. While this luau is much deserved of the popularity it receives, the show has lost some of its soul over the years as bigger and bigger crowds come out to it. Skip the crowds, hassle of parking and the odd children’s activities that are about as Hawaiian as Taco Bell is Mexican. Check out the Wantilan Luau at Universal’s Royal Pacific Resort instead. The two are similarly priced (though the Disney one does include beer/wine), but the Royal Pacific one is much smaller creating a more authentic luau experience. The setting feels much more tropical than the arena that the Spirit of Aloha is set in and the food is still all you can eat at the Wantilan.

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Skip Voyage of the Little Mermaid at DHS for Under the Sea – Journey of the Little Mermaid at MK
Voyage of the Little Mermaid is another attraction that used to be impressive, but is now more a reminder of mid-90s tech than anything close to being entertaining. Skip this show for Under the Sea instead. Many of the same songs are used in both, but the ride is a much more enjoyable way to experience a retelling of this classic Disney film.

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Skip Magical Midway for Fun Spot
How Magical Midway is even still open is quite surprising. Sun bleached attractions fill the small park with discount ticket vendors sitting at the entrances. Skip the low quality, traveling carnival quality experience that is Magical Midway and instead head up the road to Fun Spot. By far one of the cleanest parks in all of Orlando, Fun Spot has the area’s only wooden coaster (Legoland Florida has the only other one in the state). With two major coasters, numerous go-cart tracks and the SkyCoaster, Fun Spot is what the much smaller Magical Midway can never be.

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Skip Tom Sawyer Island for exploring Fort Wilderness
Tom Sawyer used to be great, but over the years more and more of it has closed. Gone are the days you can escape the crowds to enjoy a PB&J sandwich while sitting on the rocking chairs overlooking the Rivers of America. Skip Tom Sawyer Island altogether and instead spend some time over at Fort Wilderness. With a petting zoo, actual nature trails and a much more scenic boat ride taking you there, Fort Wilderness is a great way to spend an afternoon.

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Skip Stitch’s Great Escape for It’s Tough To Be A Bug
Stitch’s Great Escape is one of the lowest rated attractions in all of Central Florida. The attraction involves locking people into their seats then assaulting them with bad smells, broken speaker effects, and squirts of water, all while guests sit in total darkness. No one enjoys having their senses assaulted by an alien with chili dog breath. Skip this attraction for Disney Animal Kingdom’s It’s Tough To Be A Bug 4D movie. Many of the same effects including water squirts and bad smells are featured in the 4D movie, but here they make sense and the lack of total darkness will help keep the little kiddies happy.

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