;The dais seemed alive with the unseasonably cool breezes blowing the commerce outside, as smiles of progress lit up this week's council confab. A clue as to what was at the root of the glibness would come soon enough.
;; "I can assure you that the property taxes are still in effect," boasted Sen. Gary Siplin in a surprise guest appearance straight outta the legislative session. "[The Senate] seems to be the more wiser of the groups."
;; Perhaps, but that wasn't all there was to be happy about. Two bronze "Telly" awards were given to the city for its Behind the Badge: A Look at S.W.A.T. program and the brilliant morphing video introduction to the mayor's State of the City address. Plus, May is Older Americans Month and Orlando Bicycle Month, and next week is Small Business Week. How do we keep track? OK, so there were three homicides last weekend, as Dyer would go on to note. But nothing can stop progress.
;;;Item: The city approves an interlocal agreement with University of Central Florida to bring a House of Moves motion-capture soundstage to the Florida Interactive Entertainment Academy.
;;Translation: Seemingly dormant in the wash of public outcry and property-tax reform encumbering the downtown venue trifecta, the Creative Village once again rears its digitally enhanced head in the form of a pricey addition to UCF's downtown film and digital media Mecca. House of Moves (not House of Mousse, unfortunately) is the world's largest "motion capture" tech company (see Titanic, or rather, don't), a field that could land graduate students of FIEA a starting salary of $70,000 to $80,000 in a new, more imaginary world. And while that might secure an "affordable" one-bedroom condo in the vicinity, it doesn't quite rise to the promised task of being a "catalyst" for the Creative Village. No, that "catalyst" will come in the form of $1 million from the city to be paid out over a three-year period so long as three benchmarks are met, and once-a-semester access for Orange County Public Schools is mandated after it's all done. Additionally, UCF will put another $1 million into complementary studio build-outs, while House of Moves will provide $700,000 worth of equipment. It costs a lot to pretend.
;;;Item: The city approves a stipulated final judgment including attorney's fees, expert's fees and costs in the case of the city versus Albertson's/Danubis Group, regarding a reclaimed waterline.
;;Translation: Avid readers of the Watch will note that this sounds suspiciously similar to dealings in the last installment with Kimco Realty: City cries "eminent domain" citing something involving wastewater, lowballs their estimate on the acquired parcels, then gets taken to court. In this case, it's parcels 700 and 800, owned by Danubis Group. The city eyeballed the land at $41,700 (cleverly setting that amount aside with the court); Danubis gouged those eyeballs to the tune of $72,000. In the end, Danubis accepts $57,500 for the land, $8,448 for the attorneys and $244 for the expert's fees (cheap!), meaning the city only has to pony up $24,492 in addition to what's already with the court. If it smells like a shrewd negotiating tactic (or reclaimed water, for that matter), it probably is.
;;;Item: The city approves a property exchange agreement between the city and the Diocese of Orlando.
;;Translation: You can only separate church and state so much before streams of holy water and storm water intermingle. In what is an overly complicated maneuver involving the Federal Department of Transportation, Bishop Moore High School, Dubsdread Golf Course and a storm-water treatment retrofit, the diocese will give up the part of its high-school-adjacent land needed for a Dubsdread pond-ish renovation (valued at $1.3 million) in exchange for old FDOT street-drainage land (or pond property) that is also adjacent to Bishop Moore. And guess what? The city estimates that land also to be worth $1.3 million. Coincidence or divine providence?
;;;Item: The city approves an extension of its annual agreement with Quality Vaults Inc., for the opening and closing of burial spaces at Greenwood Cemetery.
;;Translation: Do you know how much it costs to bury a dead baby? The city does: $390 per unit. And if you decide to disinter said baby later and move it to the back yard, that's going to cost you $595. And by the way, doing all this burying and unburying will cost you an extra $300 on Sundays, so plan accordingly. In any case, Quality Vaults Inc. will maintain its yearly contract with the city, valued at $130,000, to do the digging. Congrats to them.
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