Despite what seemingly every cop in America might tell you, you can not overdose on fentanyl by touching it.
You can, however, give yourself a panic attack if enough of your fellow no-necked, crew cut appreciators have told you that being in the same room as the powerful opioid is a death sentence.
In spite of its nasty role in the epidemic of overdoses in the United States, fent is not manufactured by some black market concern entirely focused on lethality. Fentanyl is a drug with practical purposes that is administrated by hospitals. That wouldn't be the case if it could go airborne like Captain Tripp's and cut Blue Oyster Cult a hefty music synch check.
That didn't stop the Orange County Sheriff's Office from being the latest police org to fall victim to their own paranoid minds. Officers discovered a substance that they believed to be fentanyl and reacted as if they'd just touched cesium-137. Officers administered the anti-overdose drug Narcan — still not available over-the-counter in much of the country, by the way — on themselves and were hosed down by firefighters afterward.
The best way for OCSO deputies to avoid fentanyl overdoses is to not sample fentanyl. If that's not what's happening, they just need to take a few breaths.
OCSO weren't content to keep their overreaction to themselves. They made a secondary mistake and posted their fent freakout to the internet, where cops thinking fentanyl can drop a man at 500 yards is the regular subject of derision.
We've collected a few of our favorites in the hope that everyone involved learns a lesson.
Orange County Sheriff's Office deputies treat selves for overdose after alleged fentanyl exposure
By Alex Galbraith on Tue, Mar 29, 2022 at 10:24 pm
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One of em searches the car, one plants evidence, and the third one threatens people within 100 yards recording them
— Down With This Sort of Ting-Tings (@canoepickles) March 30, 2022
Actually i read a post about cops wearing hazmat suits to handle a fent patch and now i think im ODing
— MAX PROPAYNE III (@Black24Payne) March 29, 2022
do the hazmat suits protect you from easily available factual information about how fentanyl works
— 'Weird Alex' Pareene (@pareene) March 29, 2022
this shit is havana syndrome for cops
— chris (@MrTooDamnChris) March 29, 2022
They'll wear all this but refused to wear a mask for covid lol
— Sodaspider (@Podna86) March 29, 2022
They will take narcan but not a vaccine
— King Bob (@KingBob_______) March 29, 2022
Fentanyl has been the number one most consistent way to know when cops are bumping whatever they seize
— Stochastic Ecosocialism 🐇🌱 (@NightwingPhD) March 29, 2022
— skoals (@MuscleSkoals) March 29, 2022
Be careful out there, Officers! Proximity fentanyl exposure is no joke - it happened to my uncle and he experienced acute tazed himself in the balls and died.
— Tom Joad The Wet Sprocket (@Adequate_Scott) March 30, 2022
— kylie sparks 🖤🥂⚾️🏀 (@kyliesparks) March 30, 2022
So weird how drugs keep ending up in the noses of the cops doing these searches
— POWERFUL CRAB FART🦀 (@FartCrab) March 29, 2022
— A Touch of Class (warfare) (@SeancePolitique) March 30, 2022
do you really think that we will believe that fent is like an airborne pathogen?
— the original Jorts (@DoctorHugePenis) March 30, 2022
they don't have that same fear of COVID even though it's killed more cops.
— 🍕🌮🦇⚾ pizza/tacos/bats ⚾🦇🌮🍕 (@batsdingerbonds) March 30, 2022
Weird how nurses and doctors distribute fentanyl every day, multiple times a day with none of this. Almost like it’s not absorbed through the skin and officers who test positive took it recreationally and are lying otherwise.
— Daffonté Duckworth (@SjonesiProduce) March 29, 2022
Omg babes this is not true they probably just forgot to eat or something
— Josie Spicer (@jsspcr1) March 29, 2022
Super weird that as a paramedic I am frequently in homes with fentanyl, administering fentanyl and so on but never OD or need Naloxone. This has also included at variable times spilling high concentration fentanyl on myself. Super weird.
— Richard Armour (@richardarmour99) March 30, 2022
Seriously ill people wear transdermal patches 24 hours a day that deliver pure pharm grade fentanyl directly into their bodies but healthy cops need hazmat suits to handle street fent that has no catalyst for skin absorption?
— Mx. Amadi “unwell anyway” Lovelace (@amaditalks) March 30, 2022
COPS STOP LYING FOR EVEN 24 HOURS CHALLENGE. https://t.co/ZkKlphIF69
Super cool that these idiots get to spend their time LARPing The Andromeda Strain. https://t.co/CgvzsNRJkh
— Chris Koeppel 💙 (@badgermancer) March 30, 2022
You’re all laughing but what if the fentanyl slapped the cops so hard they fell backwards and died not so funny now is it https://t.co/2Yznv5JWpv
— mk (@mkkaishian) March 30, 2022
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