The fentanyl panic is ready for primetime.

We’ve been over this quite a few times. Every time local authorities have sought to push a panic around the opioid fentanyl, in fact. But it bears repeating: You 100% can not overdose on the powerful drug simply by being in the same room as it.

We’ve seen cops across the nation, including right here in our backyard, work themselves up into proper panic attacks over the possible existence of fentanyl in the same space as them. Now the fentanyl panic is being pushed into the living rooms of your parents and grandparents via the most effective organ of police propaganda in the United States: network cop procedurals.

A recent trailer for the CBS show FBI showed just how pernicious the “fentanyl as dirty bomb” narrative has become. In the clip, a suspect is stopped by agents and made to drop his bag. When they open the bag, they find a large amount of what they believe to be fentanyl. An agent stops the search, saying, “If that bag rips, we’re all dead.”


There are more than a few problems with this scene. We’ll start from the beginning. Fentanyl cannot be distinguished from other powdered drugs with the naked eye. This is a large part of why it is so dangerous to drug users.

Moreover, you’d expect federal agents who are regularly tasked with crimes that cross state borders to be more comfortable around seeing drugs. And we apparently can’t stress enough that overdosing from fentanyl exposure is a myth. That myth becoming so widespread that police across the country are falling out from panic attacks when they see baggies of unidentified drugs does not make it any more real.

If I went to a wedding like this, I too would be talking shit about it… fuck you mean you’re not providing catering??? At a WEDDING?? pic.twitter.com/12OMKlQogu— Ash (@theashrb) June 5, 2022
I just can’t stop thinking about how it costs $5500 for an hour of Mickey and Minnie’s time at a Disneyland wedding https://t.co/R9cQMTN9MJ— Cody (@codybondarchuk) June 8, 2022
I am being so serious rn when I say we are not bullying Disney adults enough https://t.co/N9FhTQyMat— Jacob (@redmagejacob93) June 7, 2022 Credit: Universal Orlando Resort unveils a very unique new portal at its park.
my brain cannot comprehend this, in theory I should be ok with it, but I cannot process it, imagine going to an Indian wedding and there is NO FOOD, there would also be no marriage in fact there would be riots, in fact if it was Haryana there would be gunfire, and about 6 murders https://t.co/KcBqpeMEZR— Shiv Ramdas Traing To Rite Buk (@nameshiv) June 7, 2022
"There is food available nearby?" NOJODA! https://t.co/HecWBn2Ikj— lili_pl (@lili_pl) June 7, 2022
Imagine having a destination wedding to Disney World where $5,000 (the entire catering budget) is instead spent on 2 overworked underpaid actors to dress as cartoon mice for photos while telling your guests to just go to a vending machine and then wondering if you’re the asshole. https://t.co/ssi5tiwTQo— 🍑Peach Saliva🍑 (@PeachSaliva) June 6, 2022
They could have just paid me $150 and I would have pretended to be both Mickey and Minnie https://t.co/LMqxV5ohPb— Tasia Bass but the vacation version (@GroovyTasia) June 6, 2022
Credit: CBS