Streaming premieres you won't want to miss this week.
**Editor's note: An earlier version of this story identified the movie Space Sweepers as Japanese, which was a really dumb mistake on our part. 😳 We truly regret the error and offer our apologies. The capsule has been corrected with an apology from the writer, below, but we both take full responsibility.
Premieres Wednesday:
All My Friends Are Dead — From Poland comes a shocker about two detectives who have plenty of dots to connect when a New Year's Day investigation takes them into a house full of newly deceased partygoers. Wow, that's a mindblower, all right. I mean ... remember having people over? (Netflix)
Firefly Lane — Of course Katherine Heigl had to co-executive produce her new series; you think anyone else is going to give her a job at this point? Heigl costars alongside Sarah "Darrin Stephens of the '90s" Chalke in the story of friends whose relationship evolves over the course of 30 years. In real life, Heigl would have burned that bridge within three. (Netflix)
Premieres Thursday:
Haute Dog — Here's a litter (get it?) of new episodes of the reality competition in which pet pooches get extreme makeovers. Meanwhile, you've been cutting your own hair for 10 months, but Sir Coco Fabulous gots places to be! (HBO Max)
A Nightmare Wakes — Mary Shelley pulled off a feat for the ages when she changed the course of horror literature with her very first novel. So naturally, this dramatization of those storied events focuses on the possibility that she was on drugs and/or having an affair at the time. Mothers, sit your daughters down in front of this one and let them know they can be anything! (Shudder)
Premieres Friday:
Earwig and the Witch — A brand-new Studio Ghibli flick? Their first in seven years? And it's based on a book by the same author who provided the source material for Howl's Moving Castle? Wow, there'll never be a reason to go to a movie theater ever again! Until you read the fine print and notice Earwig wasn't directed by Hayao Miyazaki, but his son, Haro, and that it ends a proud company tradition by being entirely computer-animated. OK, so maybe I'm going to buy that AMC stock after all. (HBO Max)
The New York Times Presents: Framing Britney Spears — If you ask me, it's a complete outrage that Britney has been stripped of her autonomy by a bunch of vultures who have exploited her mental-health struggles for their own gain. So after we're done watching this documentary, I say we all write angry emails demanding she be returned to the level of self-determination she had 20 years ago, when she was telling America to shut up and do whatever George W. Bush wanted. Wait ... shit. (Hulu)
Malcolm & Marie — Euphoria creator Sam Levinson wrote and directed Zendaya and John David Washington in the story of a filmmaker who faces a personal crisis after the premiere of his latest picture. Let me guess: He just found out it's going to HBO Max. (Netflix)
Space Sweepers — Remember Quark, the 1970s comedy series about an interstellar garbage scow? Well, apparently South Korea does too, because they’ve gifted us with a flick that’s likewise about a team of deep-space salvage experts. In the story, our heroes discover a sought-after girl robot out there among the wreckage. (**NOTE: A previous version of this column misidentified the film as Japanese in origin, and in the context of a joke that managed to offend readers of several ethnicities. We apologize profusely for the error and the injury.) (Netflix)
Strip Down Rise Up — Striptease students take center stage in a documentary that's out to prove the art form can empower women of all backgrounds and body types. Come on, Steve's Boner: This is your moment to make us look good and woke! Because that feigned disgust for Katherine Heigl isn't fooling anybody. (Netflix)
