Undiscovered
Studio: Lions Gate Films
Rated: PG-13
Website: http://www.undiscoveredfilm.com/main.html
Release Date: 2005-09-02
Cast: Pell James, Steven Strait, Kip Pardue, Carrie Fisher, Ashlee Simpson
Director: Meiert Avis
Screenwriter: John Galt
WorkNameSort: Undiscovered
Our Rating: 1.00
About as romantic as watching a chicken farmer jerk off a hen, Undiscovered will in all hopes live up to its name at the box office. Conceived by Meiert Avis with the same sense of hard-times grit that infected his J. Lo videos, it tells of rockin’ Luke Falcon (Steven Strait), whose band of submissive black folk play a horrifying fusion of Creed and Coldplay. Chipper Aryan model Brier (Pell James) digs the Falcon, and uses something called “the Internet” to make him famous. It works, but she’s still torn between loving the young, dumb, dusky rocker and being ignored by an elder Brit superstar. Every so often, Ashlee Simpson, playing Brier’s existence-challenged friend, shows up to chirp entire songs; Carrie Fisher phones in a cameo. By the time Peter Weller appears to do his William Burroughs routine, you can only assume an angry God has added up all your sins and this movie is your punishment.
This article appears in Aug 31 – Sep 6, 2005.