Here we have a walk-through, a guide on how to best tackle the legendary Ivanhoe-Mills Quest, the most vicious bar crawl our city has to offer. Spanning 2.5 miles and 27 stops, this alcohol-drenched trek is a rite of passage for all Orlandoans.  

Noon: White Wolf Cafe 1829 N. Orange Ave., Sat: 8 a.m. – 10 p.m. Sun: 8 a.m. – 3 p.m. What to order: Snag a Chipotle Bloody Mary and energize with a gourmet coffee So, you’ve finally decided your wits need a solid testing. Perhaps you are capable of knocking this 4-kilometer drink-cathalon out of the park, it’s too early to tell. Nonetheless, let us first get some breakfast in before truly toeing the line of acceptable public inebriation. If the wait is long, as this spot is known to produce a line, then run north to your second stop during the delay to snag a quick pre-meal liquified snack. Photo via hollyhieu/Instagram
12:10 p.m. Ivanhoe Craft Bar and Packy 1915 N. Orange Ave., Sat: 2 p.m. – 2 a.m. Sun: 2 p.m. – 12 a.m. What to order:The craft cocktails menu is constantly rotating and they are $2 off before 8 p.m. Whether you follow or precede your White Wolf feast at Ivanhoe’s comfy little packy, you should be pleased with yourself because few have made it to step two of this quest … as you are likely the first to embark on it. Photo via ivanhoeorl/Instagram
1:20 p.m. Caboose 1827 N. Orange Ave., Sat: 12 p.m. – 2 p.m. Sun: 12 p.m. – 2 a.m. What to order: The day’s first tallboy and/or pint The food is aiming to sit now, so it’s time for you to make something of yourself by siphoning some liquid dessert down your esophagus. In layman’s terms, just order a beer and slam it, you’ve got places to be. Photo via s.greenbean/Instagram
1:38 p.m. Imperial Wine Bar 1800 N. Orange Ave., Sat: 5 p.m. – 2 a.m. Sun: Closed What to order: Sixpoint Crisp Pilsner is a safe place to start here If this fine establishment be closed, as is likely if you are following our tightly designed time frames, then just double up the drinkage at the Lucky Lure, por favor. Photo via emilygdale/Instagram
1:47 p.m. The Lucky Lure 1427 N Orange Avenue, Sat: 12 p.m. – 2 a.m. Sun: 12 p.m. – 2 p.m. What to order: You won’t regret acquiring a Regal Beagle Hike those knees and trudge further south where you take the bait and bite on one of the cocktails at this quick stop. Breathe friend, and get that hook out of your lip, cuz’ once this cockt ail is caput, then it’s time to sail away. Photo via christiebanach/Instagram
2:05 p.m. Nova 1409 N. Orange Ave., Sat: 10 a.m. – 2:30 p.m. & 5 p.m. – 10:30 p.m. Sun: 10 a.m. – 3 p.m. & 5 p.m. – 9:30 p.m. What to order:An Ivanhoe Punch will keep your senses sharpened Hit Nova hard with as much composure as you can muster, a mere 2 hours and 4 or more drinks into your quest, and make it brisk, because this place closes for dinner prep at 3 p.m. Photo via laurencardersolo/Instagram
2:58 p.m. The Hammered Lamb 1235 N. Orange Ave., Sat & Sun: 10 a.m. – 2 p.m What to order:The Highland, because you should drink how you are beginning to feel Now might not be a terrible time to add some delicious matter to your stomach, if you have not done so yet. If you have and are wanting to burn off some carbs fast, call dibs on one of the ping-pong tables and give the public an inebriation spectacle to gawk at. Photo via sotera_living/Instagram
3:26 p.m. German Backhaus 1213 N. Orange Ave., Sat & Sun: 8 a.m. – 6 p.m. What to order: Obtain a pretzel Get some starch in your system as you turn the first corner in your walk down Inebriated Lane before you head up to Alden Road for your next stop. Photo via backhausorlando/Instagram
4:01 p.m. Hideaway Bar 516 Virginia Drive, Sat: 7 a.m. – 2 a.m. Sun: 9:30 a.m. – 2 a.m. What to order: Stella Artois pints The first stop on the second act of the quest to forget is well-hidden and points you east toward an era of browning out, but stay strong, for you are not even halfway through your journey. Photo by Rob Bartlett
4:41 p.m. GB’s Bottle Shop and Tasting Bar 521 Virginia Drive, Sat: 12 p.m. – 2 a.m. Sun: 12 p.m. – 11 p.m. What to order: The world is your oyster here, but any draft beer will do Leave the more clumsily inclined members of your troupe outside as there are many breakables inside this beer grocer. GB’s is a nice spot to recuperate away from the bar scene, so snag a quick brown-bag special and walk out to your next pit stop of drank. Photo via what_ales_ya_podcast/Instagram
5:21 p.m. The Thirsty Topher 601 Virginia Drive, Sat: 2 p.m. – 2 a.m. Sun: 2 p.m. – 12 a.m. What to order: A tallboy should help maintain the current flow of your roll After that quick break from the bar scene it’s time to stumble a little bit further east to this hole in the wall that will help ease you back into the bar scene with grace. Snag a tallboy, slam it and stroll out the door. Photo via dianejpark/Instagram
6:26 Nora’s Sugar Shack 636 Virginia Drive, Sat: 2 p.m. – 7 p.m. Sun: Closed What to order:Beer and a donut please Head into Nora’s Sugar Shack for a quaint and fragile second while again leaving the clumsy members of your party outside, for Quest-ruining expenses could arise from a destructive episode of slapstick comedy within. Photo via sami_dz76/Instagram
7 p.m. The Matador 724 Virginia Drive, Sat: 7 p.m. – 2 a.m. Sun: 7 p.m. – 2 a.m. What to order: Gin and tonic on tap This well-rounded watering hole is easy to get a drink at, as the bar rarely has a competitive vibe. Snag yourself a gin and tonic on tap, because where else are you going to be able to order that? Photo via matador_orlando/Instagram
7:29 p.m. Santiago’s Bodega Orlando 802 Virginia Drive, Sat & Sun: 10 a.m. – 2 a.m. What to order: Some sort of sangria If you’ve made it this far on your journey then you’ve earned a toast to yourself. Flaunt the pinky until you pass the exit, but until then, enjoy these 30 minutes of high society. Photo via doorlandolocal/Instagram
8:10 p.m. Ten10 Brewing Company 1010 Virginia Drive, Sat: 11:30 a.m. – 1 a.m. Sun: 11:30 a.m. – 10 p.m. What to order:Ten10’s Urban Trail American Pale Ale simply cannot fail Down a pint and compose yourself. We’re about to make some twists and turns on our next few moves, so check your shoelaces and those of your drinking buddy, because we don’t want to lose anyone while crossing the Urban Trail. Photo via what_ales_ya_podcast/Instagram
8:27 p.m. The Brass Tap 1632 N. Mills Ave., Sat: 12 p.m. – 1 a.m. Sun: 12 p.m. – 11 p.m. What to order: North Coast Old Rasputin Nitro Take yourself north toward the Brass Tap where the kegs are always freshly tapped and where you’re sure to help erase a majority of the failure that was projected for your short life by lady Dinah, the fortune teller, on your way to this bar. Photo via the_brass_tap_mills_park/Instagram
8:40 p.m. Quantum Leap Winery 1312 Wilfred Drive, Sat: 12p.m. – 8 p.m. Sun: Closed What to order: A glass of rosé Time jump in your journey and head back the way you came toward Quantum Leap, where you can attempt traveling to a time where you are drunker than you were 30 minutes ago. Photo via d_flynny/Instagram
9:12 p.m. St. Matthew’s Tavern 1300 N. Mills Ave., Sat & Sun: 4 p.m. – 2 a.m. What to order:Rum and coke, or your own twist on that Zoidberg across the Pig Floyd’s parking lot and turn right until you see sandy dunes, then walk into the attached bar and order a Red Bull and vodka, ‘cuz you’ve just about hit the home stretch, and you will likely need the stamina boost at this point. Photo via handsomeladyboy/Instagram
9:59 p.m. Black Rooster 1323 N. Mills Ave., Sat: 11 a.m. – 3 p.m. & 5 p.m. – 11 p.m. Sun: 11 a.m. – 3 p.m. & 5 p.m. – 9 p.m. What to order:Snag a pork-fat taco and thank us later for the tip toward enlightenment There are a few beers you can scoop here, but the focus of this stop is the beautifully crafted cuisine that we are sure anyone in your party with a brain will appreciate. Photo via salty.blond/Instagram
10:32 p.m. The Guesthouse 1321 N. Mills Ave., Sat & Sun: 12 p.m. – 2 a.m. What to order:15-year-old Glenfiddich on the rocks This square bar is anything but lacking in booze. The wall behind the bar is decorated with a plethora of delicious-looking whiskeys and scotches worth a sip. Simmer down here for a moment before we head south down Mills toward the final chapter of this quest that you probably won’t remember the majority of. Photo via the_guesthouse/Instagram
11:01 p.m. Bart 1205 N. Mills Ave., Sat & Sun: 5 p.m. – 2 a.m. What to order:A gallon of ale to go with a game of Galaga Get those senses woke with some 8-bit gameage and a cerveza or two as you enjoy one of the brighter moments in this long dark effort towards intoxication. If you are still functional enough to get the quarters in the slot then you are ready to continue, post round, to the pub of Will. Photo via mandiapolis/Instagram
11:25 p.m. Will’s Pub 1042 N. Mills Ave., Sat: 8 p.m. – 2 a.m. Sun: 4 p.m. – 2 a.m. What to order:PBR Test the durability of your current state and plod into the show-heavy Will’s Pub, keeping in mind that bonus points are awarded to the person who is the least covered in beer. Photo via c4lculon/Instagram
12:14 a.m. Lil’ Indies 1036 N. Mills Ave., Sat & Sun: 4 p.m. – 2 a.m. What to order:Bartender’s choice Surprise unto you, fair adventurer, as phase two of the fancy portion of your quest has arrived. Get that pinky up, check for any unnoticed wounds and head phalange-first into this chilled-out bar. Surely someone will be spinning some respectable toonage so direct the crispest head nod their way while floating towards the bar. Order a classy shot for you and your crew, politely thank and tip the barkeep appropriately, and be on your merry way. Photo via vacumatic/Instagram
12:52 a.m. Uncle Lou’s 1016 N. Mills Ave., Sat & Sun: 8 p.m. – 2 a.m. What to order:Anything you can get your hands on It is time to counter what we are sure was a difficult task: being classy 12 hours into this quest of forgetting. But shake that off, you’re in lower-deck company again, and it’s time to wash the taste of those shots out of your mouth with some beer, wine and music. Gather yourself post-brew and head out the door. Two stops remain, Quester. Photo via repurposedwafflehouse/Instagram
1:34 a.m. Wally’s 1001 N. Mills Ave., Sat: 7:30 a.m. – 2 a.m. Sun: Closed What to order:You’ve made it this far, get what you want, you winner, you We are beyond proud of you — after all, there’s nothing more honorable than drinking at a record-breaking pace for nearly 14 hours. Wear your pride boisterously and avoid getting kicked out if at all possible, but know that if you are asked to leave, a further 10 bonus points are headed your way. Gulp down last call and somersault out the door toward the final task of this life-altering quest. Photo via caravaggio13/Instagram
2:14 a.m. Tako-Cheena 932 N. Mills Ave., Sat: 11 a.m. – 4 a.m. Sun: 11 a.m. – 1 a.m. What to order:Feast, you king of kings You’ve done it! Celebrate with the delicious decadence of “takos.” If you still have a shirt on at this point, request a Sharpie and write “winner” on the front of it, because you should be proud of what you’ve evolved into over the course of this half-day marathon. Now call an Uber and go home quick before you tempt fate with your unfettered pride. Photo via taco cheena on mills50/Instagram