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From horny manatees causing traffic jams, to “Bubble Man,” to Gov. Rick Scott getting screamed at in a Starbucks, 2016 was an epic year for “Florida” stories. Here are a few of our favorite headlines from the past year.
As a random gift to his mother, Englewood, Florida, resident Danny Duncan decided to give her a new mailbox, which just so happens to be shaped like a huge penis and carved from a single block of wood. Read moreWhile feeding a few local raccoons, an Orlando man learned a valuable lesson: Raccoons will bite your dumb ass. Read moreAfter Target announced its transgender customers and employees can use store bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity, Orlando-based Liberty Counsel president Anita Staver said she would be taking her Glock .45 into Target’s restrooms, saying the gun “identifies as my bodyguard.” Read moreHe was out for 48 days*. When he awoke, his first recognizable words were “I want Taco Bell.” Read more42-year-old Mack Yearwood was tracked down and arrested on Tuesday, August 30, after investigators found he used his wanted poster as a Facebook profile picture. Read moreGov. Rick Scott was just trying to get a cup of joe at a Gainesville Starbucks, but a local woman was not having it.
Read moreA Marco Island, Florida, resident stole and crashed a $61,000 boat belonging to Walter Palmer, the infamous dentist who shot and killed Cecil The Lion last summer. Read moreEver had gator and fries?
No, not the kind that’s battered and deep-fried. The kind that’s still alive. Read moreMary Thorn cradles and kisses her pet alligator Rambo like a baby, dresses him in costumes and lets him ride on a motorcycle. The two have developed a bond over 11 years of performing together, but a state agency may force the Lakeland woman to give up her gator. Read moreLast week, Gov. Rick Scott was enjoying a leisurely breakfast at Zak the Baker in the Miami neighborhood of Wynwood, when a passing motorist decided to call him a “motherfucker,” a word our governor is all too familiar with. Read more. “I recognized through my eleven years of training and experience as a law enforcement officer the substance to be some sort of narcotic,” the officer wrote in her report. Read moreA middle-aged and very tanned flasher is terrorizing Vero Beach, Florida, with his middle-aged and very tanned junk, says the Vero Beach Police Department. Read moreA Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer found a beast of a Burmese python on Monday, Jan. 18. Read moreNothing is worse than having to yell at a bunch of slow drivers while you unknowingly drive into a tornado. Florida traffic, am I right?
Read moreFlorida beaches are known for their beauty, but this holiday weekend some beach-goers will have to stay out of the water because of poo. Read moreIt’s that special time of year when groups of horny male sea cows track down females, herd them into shallow water, and desperately try to get it in. Read moreA Florida man has been arrested after breaking into his neighbor’s home to pet the family cat. Read moreReza Baluchi, an endurance athlete who’s lifelong goal is to reach Bermuda via a giant homemade bubble, was rescued for the third and probably last time.
Read moreAngela Gallo and Manuel Rosario went to Chipotle on their first date. Read moreJoining an already robust list of invasive species, capybaras, the world’s largest rodents, are now popping up in Florida. Read moreWinter Park resident Katy Vazquez recently posted a photo of her baby’s dirty diaper to Facebook, claiming the child’s poo stain is a sign from God. Read moreYou may remember Lane Pittman from our story last year, “Jacksonville man shreds National Anthem so hard, cops are forced to arrest him.” The ginger headbanger drew such a crowd with his rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner” last Fourth of July that police arrested him for breaching the peace. Read moreLast weekend, a couple wearing matching T-shirts had a precious moment in front of Cinderella Castle at Disney World, like couples do. However, a photobombing woman in a Christmas sweater witnessed this all-too-common display of affection, and well, just look at her face. Read moreIn a move that should surprise exactly no one, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign appears to have thrown our basic precepts about reality out the window and recruited living cartoons from Pensacola to open for the Republican frontrunner at a rally on Wednesday, Jan. 13. Read moreA woman caught a photo of a lazy alligator hitching a ride on the back of a manatee, resulting in arguably the best Florida photo of 2016. Read more