Yes, Orlando traffic sucks. But while it’s easy to blame tourists for everything, Orlando’s crappy traffic isn’t that black and white. Here’s 25 actual, legitimate reasons Orlando traffic is terrible.
A large portion of Orlando drivers are always making excuses for the traffic
“Well, it’s worse in NYC and NJ, so it’s not thaaat bad.” Yes. Yes, it is.
Photo via davico_o on InstagramThe city is laid out terribly
The fact that there’s a lake every 100 yards is partially to blame. But even so, an overview of Orlando looks like a toddler scribbled our map with a crayon. Good luck navigating here.
Screen grab via Google MapsLiterally no one uses their blinkers
That person behind you can’t read your mind, nor do they have the reflexes of a major league baseball catcher, so please, just use your damn signal.
Photo via wakeupsister on InstagramRiding your bike down a brick road
It’s not like you wanted to have kids anyways…
Photo by Marissa MahoneyNo one understands merging
It goes both ways, Orlando drivers would rather see you die than slow down to let you in. And drivers attempting to merge, would rather stop and wait their turn.
Photo via brit612 on InstagramConstant oggling
People are constantly staring, pointing, or snapping pictures down in the tourist district.
Photo via my_life_is_yellow on InstagramTurning down Bumby Avenue before you remember it’s under construction
So much for that short cut to Chick-Fil-A.
Photo by Marissa MahoneyPedestrians are complete psychopaths
Gone are the days when pedestrians look both ways before crossing. They just step into oblivion and expect drivers to not slam dunk their asses into a hospital bed.
Photo via hellodustin on InstagramAssuming there’s a speed limit on Colonial Drive
Every lane is the fast lane on Colonial. Fall behind, left behind.
Photo by Marissa MahoneyThe Lynx bus system
Not only are the buses inconvenient behemoths that rarely show up on time, but they have designated lanes that could be better used to open up the flow of traffic.
Photo via jacobrodriguezphoto on InstagramPeople double park in the dumbest places
Just because you put your hazard lights on after stopping on Orange Ave in the middle of rush hour traffic, doesn’t make up for what you did.
Photo via Google MapsThe I-4 Ultimate Project
Interstate 4? More like Parking Lot 4. Sure, eventually, theoretically, this major inconvenience will all be worth it.
Photo via jeannie_marie_o on InstagramThere isn’t a consistent speed limit on I-4
Why can’t we just pick a speed limit on the I-4? The fact that it changes all the time makes it a damn wild west.
Photo via kokopellirules on InstagramThere are virtually no bike lanes
Because there’s almost no bike lanes in this city, bicyclists have to use dedicated lanes that are shared with cars, which only slows everything down and causes more accidents.
Photo via themandino on InstagramThe streets are filled with drivers from New Jersey and New York
Northern drivers be like, “What’s a left turn lane?”
Photo via dondemici on InstagramParking in an open lot downtown
Always a gamble, always a tow truck.
Photo by Marissa Mahoney Credit: Photo by Marissa MahoneyRain makes all the drivers hit the brakes
Yes, hydroplaning is terrifying, but you don’t have to slam the brakes at the first drop of rain.
Photo via artjen1971 on InstagramPeople slam on the breaks because of red light cameras
Because of the annoying threat of an expensive ticket, drivers either slam on the brakes to avoid getting photographed, or punch the gas. Neither is good.
Photo via riskywhiskey on InstagramThere aren’t any service roads
With the amount of busy exits that exist both downtown and near the amusement parks, it would make sense to have a designated service road for slower traffic to merge and exit.
Photo via to_be_fearless on InstagramSilver alert signs that are longer than your commute
Even if it isn’t old people holding drivers up, having to read those long alerts on the signs do.
Photo via baconhulk on InstagramSnow birds
Fun fact: Grandma and Grandpa spread their wings and flock down south with the sole purpose of jamming our highways.
Photo via gardenabattery_inc on InstagramLiterally everyone is texting and driving
All it takes is one “ayyyyyy lmao” to cause hours of bumper-to-bumper traffic.
Photo via alexmuhdude on InstagramTolls roads. All of the toll roads.
Half of the time, cash carrying drivers (millions of tourists) can’t get the automated toll booths to work.
Photo via connyesfashion on InstagramMost tourists literally do not know how to drive
It’s not like Orlandoans drive any better, but at least we know how to properly drive like idiots on I-4.
Photo via doctordisney on InstagramOrlandoans don’t understand how a 4-way stop works
You know how it goes when all the drivers get to the 4-way stop sign at the same time and no one can figure out who goes first, so you just sit there until one driver gets so frustrated they wave you along with any dramatic item they can find in their car.
Photo via Google Maps
