Orlando Health needs to fart

Orlando Health facilities will loudly clear their pipes this weekend.

The hospital released a statement saying they must vent their piping system Saturday and Sunday, and also warned nearby residents that the sound will be “equivalent to the noise level one would experience standing on an aircraft carrier as a jet takes off.”

Orlando Health says the whole procedure will shoot a hot, wet wind 40 to 50 feet out from the pipes, as well as sand-sized particulate matter, at a velocity of 1,250 feet per minute. Lol.

Apparently the pipe cleaning procedure is critical to hospital operations, says Orlando Health. “The steam utility system is the source of all hot water in the hospitals, from cafeteria steam tables to sterile processing,” reads the statement. 

Here’s the full blasting schedule:

Saturday, Jan. 5 9 a.m. – 9:30 a.m. and 11 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.

Sunday, Jan. 6 10 a.m. – 10:30 a.m. and 2 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.

Saturday, Jan. 12 10 a.m. – 10:30 a.m. and 2 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.

Expect blockades in specific areas to prevent anyone from getting too close to the toot.

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This article appears in Dec 26, 2018 – Jan 1, 2019.