The act of throwing beverages at politicians is called “milkshaking,” and it is not funny or acceptable in any way. As we all know, “milkshaking” politicians is a slippery slope that can lead to far worse scenarios.
Here are a few of the extremely unfunny things that could happen if we continue to laugh at this type of egregious assault:
- Someone throws two milkshakes at Matt Gaetz
- Matt Gaetz sits on a milkshake
- Matt Gaetz drinks a milkshake but somehow misses his mouth and pours it in his eye
- An inadvertent throw from a father and son playing catch with a milkshake hits Gaetz directly in the face
- Matt Gaetz spills an entire vat of homemade milkshakes inside his dad’s BMW
- A seagull devours an old milkshake left in a hot Florida parking lot and then shits on Matt Gaetz’s suit from 200 feet in the air
- A T-shirt cannon firing 25 milkshakes malfunctions and covers Gaetz in delicious chocolate dairy products
- Matt Gaetz considers filing a bill to ban milkshakes, but chooses not to because of government overreach
- Matt Gaetz steps on a milkshake, and to make matters worse he can’t remove his foot from the Wendy’s cup
- Matt Gaetz is innocently struck by milkshake crossfire between members of the so-called alt-right and an antifa super-soldier
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This article appears in May 29 – Jun 4, 2019.
