According to the Internet, Florida is the only state where weird shit happens. I beg to differ. I present to you exhibits A-M:
Exhibit A: An Oklahoma man gave his step-father an atomic wedgie … and killed him!
Exhibit B: An Oregon couple leaves an unusual tip for their waitress … meth!
Exhibit D: A Phoenix man gets busted trying to smuggle a woman into the country in his suitcase.
Exhibit E: A grandmother in Memphis called 911 with a beer emergency.
Exhibit F: Two Des Moines brothers got in a knife fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Exhibit G: A Barre, Vt., man robs a liquor store, wearing the most painful disguise ever.
Exhibit H: In Santa Fe, Jennifer McCarthy scuffled over aliens, then pulled a gun from her vagina.
Exhibit I: A man in Iowa City was so drunk that the breathalyzer threw up its hands, only reading, “HI.”
Exhibit J: A Connecticut man really needed potassium after crashing into a gas station, stole one banana.
Exhibit K: Firefighters and cops in NYC pretend to be crazy in hopes of a $500,000 payday.
Exhibit L: Possibly insane man goes surfing in Minnesota … in January.
Exhibit M: Firefighters in Nebraska accidentally make something beautiful when putting out a fire.
Not that we’re completely innocent when it comes to judging our dumb state.
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This article appears in Jan 8-14, 2014.