Premieres Wednesday:
Buy It Now — Budding business visionaries pitch their product ideas to a panel of experts, with the winning concepts getting added to the online Amazon Store. In other words, it’s basically Shark Tank, but with the threat of being thrown to actual sharks if your lazy ass doesn’t work fast enough. (Prime Video)
Children of the Church Steps — Real-life events are the basis for a gritty drama in which four friends head toward a rendezvous with destiny while living on the streets of Brazil. (Why does everything in these shows always happen on the “streets” of that country? Haven’t their cinematographers learned how to shoot inside a cute little bungalow or something?) (Netflix)
Go Ahead, Brother — Desperate measures become inevitable when a guy who’s been dismissed from Poland’s special forces has to take a gig in retail security to survive. And now I’m rethinking how much I’d actually mind it if Putin annexed the one nation that hadn’t realized Paul Blart Mall Cop was supposed to be a comedy. (Netflix)
The Law According to Lidia Poët — In Season 2, Italy’s first female lawyer eyes a lateral move into the world of politics. But first, she has to get the Mario Brothers cleared on charges they did a Menendez number on their dad. (Netflix)
The Manhattan Alien Abduction — Unlike In Search Of and Unsolved Mysteries, this docuseries focuses on a single case: that of New Yorker Linda Napolitano, who may or may not have been spirited away from her apartment by extraterrestrials. I’m calling shenanigans, because a real New Yorker wouldn’t let Martians pry her away from her parking space, let alone a halfway decent one-bedroom. (Netflix)
Martha — Acclaimed documentarian R.J. Cutler (The War Room) revisits the most important moments in the life of the legendary Martha Stewart — from her early modeling days to the creation of her mammoth lifestyle empire to the first time she blazed one with Snoop in a Wawa parking lot. (Netflix)
Time Cut — Transported 21 years back in time, a young woman worries about the ramifications of stopping her sister’s killer. Will it wreak unknowable damage on the future? More important, will her parents still be able to afford to send her to Sarah Lawrence? (Netflix)
Tú También lo Harías (You Would Do It Too) — Eyewitness reports prove wildly inconsistent after the attempted robbery of a Spanish bus leaves three of the would-be thieves dead. You’d never see that happen here: Whenever SunRail hits a car, the passengers instinctively know to get on the same page and blame the motorist for being drunk. Those trips to Poinciana ain’t cheap! (Apple TV+)
Premieres Thursday:
The Diplomat Season 2 — Now that U.S. ambassador to the U.K. Kate Wyler (Keri Russell) has figured out the “enemy” attack on a British warship was actually an inside job, how can she pursue justice without jeopardizing our country’s relationship with one of its closest international allies? “Sucks to be her,” chortles Bibi Netanyahu, stuffing his mouth with Fiddle Faddle and then wiping his lips with a tattered copy of the Logan Act. (Netflix)
Don’t Come Home — When a Thai woman’s daughter disappears from their spooky family estate, it’s up to a pregnant police officer to get to the bottom of things. Given the precedent that’s been set by previous knocked-up gumshoes, I think it’s safe to assume that ain’t just a teak sculpture of Ganesh in the wood chipper. (Netflix)
Murder Mindfully — Based on the best-sellers by German author Karsten Dusse, this crime-comedy series follows a mob lawyer as he strives to attain a healthier work-life balance. Boundary No. 1: No more helping clients quicklime a stool pigeon on the weekends. (Netflix)
Premieres Friday:
Barbie Mysteries: The Great Horse Chase — Malibu Barbie and Brooklyn Barbie have to put on their deerstalker caps to solve the theft of two champion jumping horses (and one bejeweled saddle) from an English estate. The poor things wouldn’t have to be going through any of this if that gynecologist from the end of the movie hadn’t tipped them off about the “benefits” of horse riding. (Netflix)
It’s All Over: The Kiss That Changed Spanish Football — Revisit the scandal that erupted when Royal Spanish Football Association president Luis Rubiales celebrated his country’s victory in the World Cup by kissing player Jennifer Hermoso square on the lips. See, this is why I can’t go to Orlando City games anymore: Every time they lose, you have to watch them get that pity reach-around. (Netflix)
Let Go — A teenage girl’s performance in a pole-dancing contest may be the key to keeping her dysfunctional family together in a movie that’s a kind of Swedish take on Little Miss Sunshine. The main difference is that this flick is meant as a straight-ahead drama, because the Swedes obviously take their pole dancing dead serious. (Netflix)
Premieres Saturday:
Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man — Hudson Thames from What If once again provides the voice of Spidey, this time for an animated series set in an alternate universe where Peter Parker was mentored by Norman Osborn rather than Tony Stark. Could be worse, right? He could have had Jonathan Majors as a wing man instead of Jacob Batalon. (Disney+)
Premieres Tuesday:
Love Village — Season 2 introduces a new cast of Japanese singles ages 35 to 60 who are looking for what the show calls “their final love.” When you’re only 35, that’s either a sign of extreme optimism or a warning to the cops that you’re thiiiiis close to committing a murder-suicide. (Netflix)
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This article appears in Oct 30 – Nov 5, 2024.