Arnold Schwarzenegger (right) is a veteran CIA agent in Fubar Credit: Photo courtesy of Netflix

Premieres Wednesday:

Aniela — Abandoned by her husband, a Polish socialite has to learn to live like the rest of us slobs while she fights to regain custody of her daughter. Enjoy it, lady! This is that “populism” you voted for! (Netflix)

Cheers to Life — A locket that curiously matches one she inherited from her mother could hold the key to self-discovery for a Brazilian antiques dealer. Meanwhile, those Hummel figurines in the corner are whispering about chemtrails again. (Netflix)

Cocaine Air: Smugglers at 30,000 Ft. — In 2013, four Frenchmen were arrested for transporting 26 suitcases’ worth of blow via air. But as this docuseries demonstrates, that was only the beginning. For one thing, an innocent flight attendant mistakenly got caught up in the whole ugly affair, because a passenger misquoted her as asking “Can I interest you in a smack?” (Netflix)

Our Times — Married scientists travel forward in time from 1966 to now, only to find their relationship tested when she has a far easier time thriving in our society than he does. Patience, Chad: Everything will be back to normal for you in about 18 months. (Netflix)

Titan: The OceanGate Disaster — Revisit the 2023 tragedy in which a submersible imploded while carrying a quintet of disaster tourists to view the wreckage of the Titanic. The outpouring of public sympathy that ensued was a harbinger of the swift and sweeping condemnation that would one day be visited upon Luigi Mangione. (Netflix)

Premieres Thursday:

The Fairly OddParents: A New Wish — The second season of the sequel series is actually the last 10 episodes of Season 1. Right, and this is only supposed to be “fairly” odd. (Netflix)

Fubar — Season 2 finds Arnold Schwarzenegger’s veteran CIA man facing a new enemy who’s not so new after all: She happens to be one of his former girlfriends. You’d like to think that guy had learned not to shit where he eats by now, but I guess some people need more than one housekeeper to fall on them. (Netflix)

Julianne Moore smothers Sydney Sweeney in Echo Valley (not really!) (but maybe?) Credit: photo courtesy of Apple TV+

Premieres Friday:

Best Wishes to All — While on a trip to visit her grandparents, a Japanese nursing student discovers they’ve been participating in ritualistic horrors to preserve their lifestyle. So if you’re keeping score, that’s two shows this week about Hummel collecting. (Shudder)

Echo Valley — The omnipresent Sydney Sweeney plays a troubled young woman whose entanglements test the patience and devotion of her mother (Julianne Moore). Talk about being tempted to throw out the baby with the bathwater. (Apple TV+)

Kings of Jo’burg — Sister Veronica steps up to lead the Masire crime family in Season 3, following in the footsteps of her brothers who were in charge in Seasons 1 and 2. Meanwhile, slow-witted sibling Fredo Masire is in Sun City, where he’s helping white farmers fill out their refugee papers in between donkey shows. (Netflix)

Not a Box — A clever bunny rabbit teaches young ones how to turn basic cardboard into entire worlds of wonder. In the best-case scenario, America’s Christmas just got saved. At the very least, we may have found a new head of production for Warner Bros. Pictures. (Apple TV+)

Rana Naidu — The Indian remake of Ray Donovan gets a second season, with Rana Daggubati once again filling the Liev Schreiber role and Venkatesh Daggubati standing in for Jon Voight. By my calculations, that gives Daggubati five more seasons and a movie before he’s helping the Indian government destroy its film industry. (Netflix)

Romcon: Who the F**k Is Jason Porter? — The dating and true-crime genres collide in the story of a Toronto real-estate broker who discovered her new boyfriend was actually a convicted criminal and serial scam artist. Can’t wait for Amazon’s upcoming dramatization of the same material, in which poor-but-honest housewife Melania Knauss will be seen realizing too late that “Justin Trudeau” is code for “just intrude.” (Prime Video)

Super Sara — A three-part docuseries explores the fascinating career of actress and singer Sara Montiel, who remains an icon of Spanish cinema despite being all but forgotten by Hollywood. Think very carefully, Ariana: Is this really what you wanted to fake your way into? (Max)

Too Hot to Handle: Spain — The latest international edition of the hit franchise has a cast of hot Spaniards trying to remain celibate for 100,000 Euros. And that’s just for starters. Wait until you see how the tensions rise with the prize pot as the tariffs take hold. (Netflix)

Premieres Tuesday:

Hell Motel — Eric McCormack of Will & Grace stars in an anthology series set in a newly reopened motel that’s plagued by a murder spree similar to one that happened there three decades ago. That sounds somewhat similar to the Season 2 opener of Married … With Children, so I hope nobody loses a Peabody on a technicality here. (Shudder)

Justin Willman: Magic Lover — The comedy illusionist beguiles a Minnesota audience with his witty observations and feats of prestidigitation. Then again, you could beguile a Minnesota audience with a six-pack of Surly Furious and a snow machine. (Netflix)

Kaulitz & Kaulitz — The musical twins face fresh challenges in Season 2, including canceled tour dates and ill-timed water leaks. Hey, a little more flooding would have kept Great White on the road, if you catch my drift. (Netflix)

Trainwreck: Mayor of Mayhem — Refresh your memory of former Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who got caught doing crack and had to settle for being a city councilor instead. In Canada, this is what qualifies as a mandatory minimum. (Netflix)


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