NOTE: All premiere dates remain subject to change as the writers’ strike continues. Also, by the time you read this, Peacock may have moved to ham radio.
Premieres Wednesday:
The Afterparty Season 2 — This time, the setting is a wedding, with our detectives trying to figure out which of the guests bumped off the groom. The filmmaking styles spoofed in the various testimonies include “Wes Anderson” — which I guess means the answer will be right there in the middle of the screen, but you won’t be paying attention because you’ll feel like you’ve seen it 16 times already. (Apple TV+)
Quarterback — Profiles of gridiron greats Patrick Mahomes, Kirk Cousins and Marcus Mariota make up the first-ever collaboration between Netflix and the NFL. And boy, if those aren’t two names the public has come to trust with its last nickel. Although the strike makes more sense if you think it’s being negotiated by guys with CTE. (Netflix)
Record of Ragnarok — The scorecard shows “Gods 3, Humans 2” as we enter the second half of Season 2. Will the surprise defection of Buddha to our side turn the tide for us in Episodes 11-15? I don’t know, the dude looks pretty out of shape. Maybe we should have cut a deal with RFK Jr. instead. (Netflix)
Sugar Rush: The Baking Point — Six teams of Mexican master bakers play beat the clock to complete the pastries of their dreams. As opposed to the al pastores of their dreams, which would definitely be Mexican but probably a little porky as desserts go. (Netflix)
Premieres Thursday:
Full Circle — Steven Soderbergh teams up with Bill & Ted scribe Ed Solomon for a series that mines the quirk potential of a kidnap plot that stretches from New York to Guyana. An ensemble of players including Claire Danes, Dennis Quaid and Jim Gaffigan enhances the sense that anything can happen. Which is good, because the phrase “anything can happen” hasn’t figured into Dennis Quaid’s life since 2002. (Max)
The Jewel Thief — Learn the true story of Gerald Blanchard, who worked his way up the larceny ladder from simple shoplifting to the swiping of royal jewelry. And when you’ve memorized his every trade secret, remember to only try them out on chain stores, not your hard-working local businesses. (Hulu)
Project Greenlight: A New Generation — Issa Rae, Kumail Nanjiani and Gina Prince-Bythewood are the mentors as another group of aspiring filmmakers learns the ropes. The twist this time is that they’re all female — which explains the addition of a new skill set, “Coping With Death Threats on Twitter.” (Max)
Survival of the Thickest — This story of a big and beautiful stylist’s journey of self-invention represents something of a hat trick for Michelle Bureau, who not only adapted her book of essays into the series, but also produced and stars in it as well. Boy, talk about having a lot on your plate. I hope she hasn’t bitten off more than she can chew. (Don’t mind me. I’m just trying to get Lizzo to quote-tweet me, so I never have to work again.) (Netflix)
Premieres Friday:
Bird Box: Barcelona — Netflix follows up its groundbreaking pre-pandemic hit with a spinoff that explores what’s going on in Spain in the wake of global devastation. Just remember that if you watch, you’re tacitly greenlighting Birdemic: Omaha. (Netflix)
C.H.U.E.C.O. — Every family-comedy cliché you were weaned on attains a kind of harmonic convergence in this story of a single dad (check!) who inherits a fortune (double check!) but learns there’s a catch (triple check!): He and his kids have to take care of a monkey (quadruple check!) who just so happens to be able to talk (quintuple check and BINGO!). But don’t think the series will break no ground whatsoever, because as special effects go, that chimp looks more convincing than the opening credits of Secret Invasion. (Disney+)
Five Star Chef — Seven culinary pros compete to be named executive chef at the Palm Court Restaurant in London’s Langham Hotel. Not to be outdone, the last-place finisher gets to run the breakfast bar at a Days Inn. (Netflix)
Foundation — A religious rivalry leads to widespread bloodshed in Season 2 of the Asimov adaptation, which takes place a century after the events of Season 1. And four days after the events of the next Faith & Freedom Conference. (Apple TV+)
Imagine Dragons Live in Vegas — The hitmaking group returns to its hometown to celebrate the influence of timeless classics like “Believer,” “Radioactive” and that other one you always think is them but is actually Maroon 5. (Hulu)
Quicksand — This thriller about a squabbling couple who get stuck in liquefied soil was supposed to have dropped last month. Guess you could say it’s been mired in difficulty, huh? (OK, you don’t have to say it.) (Shudder)
The Summer I Turned Pretty — Season 2 brings a host of challenges to the gang at Cousins Beach, including cancer, a love triangle, and the nagging question of how much you can care about a chick who calls herself “Belly.” (Prime Video)
Too Hot to Handle — Five seasons in, the contestants on this enforced-celibacy show still haven’t learned to be suspicious when they’re recruited to take part in an allegedly anything-goes freakfest. Then again, it took America a long time to learn to recognize Allen Funt, and he wasn’t offering to blow anybody. (Netflix)
Yuzuru Hanyu Ice Story 2023 “Gift” at Tokyo Dome — The Olympic champion figure skater performs in an extravaganza of costumes and choreography that was captured on video last February. You’ll be hooked from the opening sequence, an anime laugh-fest set to the original number “What Would Yuzuru Hanyu Do?” (Disney+)
Premieres Monday:
Unknown: Cave of Bones — The third installment of the scientifically inclined docuseries has researchers poring over artifacts of our ancient ancestors. It’s a great opportunity for the younger viewers to learn what “pogs” were. (Netflix)
Premieres Tuesday:
I Wanna Rock: The ’80s Metal Dream — MTV Entertainment Studios presents a three-episode docuseries that traces the rise and fall of hair metal, as exemplified by Twisted Sister, Winger, Skid Row, Vixen and The Scream. That last one is a precious sop to anyone who was miffed at how John Corabi was essentially written out of the Mötley Crüe biopic. (And if that didn’t bother you, what are you wasting your time on? Climate change?) (Paramount+)
Love Island USA — Fiji is the setting for Season 5, with a new crew of scantily clad competitors having to decide between doubling down on their relationship or trading up. Want to see Season 6 get even wilder? Tell the contestants they’re going to be on Too Hot to Handle and watch the Hep-C flow like wine as reality sets in. (Peacock)
Surf Girls Hawai’i — Sure, this four-episode docuseries about the training and triumphs of young Polynesian surfers sounds like an excuse to ogle a bunch of nubile islanders without getting called a groomer. But check out that apostrophe in the title. That’s cultural sensitivity, dammit! (Prime Video)
This article appears in Jul 12-18, 2023.