Gigli
Studio: Columbia Pictures
Website: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/gigli/
Release Date: 2003-08-01
Cast: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bartha, Al Pacino, Christopher Walken
Director: Martin Brest
Screenwriter: Martin Brest
WorkNameSort: Gigli
Our Rating: 2.00
Ben and J. Lo’s multimillion-dollar wedding album is an inexplicable non-comedy whose chief virtue is its lack of screwball histrionics. A meatball mob enforcer kidnaps the retarded brother of a federal prosecutor, then has to share babysitting duties with a lesbian gangsta bitch, for whom he falls like a ton of home-schooled bricks. Cameos by Christopher Walken and Al Pacino barely compensate for a slow-motion parade of truly appalling sights, including Lainie Kazan getting an insulin shot to the ass and J. Lo extolling the virtues of her vagina while doing a yoga routine. Oh, and another lesbian slashes her wrists on camera. One for the grandkids, Mr. and Mrs. Affleck?
This article appears in Jul 30 – Aug 5, 2003.