Sep 13-19, 2017

Sep 13-19, 2017 / Vol. 33 / No. 39
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Cover Story

Mastodon headline three-headed beast of a bill at Hard Rock Live

Mastodon may now be one of modern metal’s most definitive touchstone bands, but they’re thoroughly the product of an elite underground that is the gold standard of street cred. And if there’s any a lineup that is both reminder and reaffirmation of that fact, this is it. The sleazy humor of Eagles of Death Metal…

Retro-alternative legends the Church consecrate the Social this week

Australian dark-alternative legends the Church are following in the footsteps of fellow postpunk outliers like Modern English and Psychedelic Furs by eschewing the overt trappings of the nostalgia circuit – package tours, theme parks – and going at it hard like a young-and-hungry band. The Church – best known for U.S. radio hit “Under the…

Florida Is Loud Fest to return to Orlando this December

Florida is Loud: The Sequel is a go. The DIY festival focusing on the various strains of Florida-related heaviness is back for another year and set for December. Full lineup has been released and includes: Holly Hunt, Shroud Eater, Yashira, Gaul, Junior Bruce, Wørsen, ASM, Other Body, Computer, No Fraud, Forms, Los Reyesz Bong Death and many more.…

Florida lawmaker wants to declare porn a public health crisis

A Florida lawmaker has filed a bill that will finally address the state’s pressing plight – not the opioid epidemic, increased HIV transmissions or poor mental health funding – pornography. State Rep. Ross Spano, R-Dover, wants the Florida Legislature to pass House Resolution 157, which would recognize the public health crisis created by pornography and acknowledge the “need…

Bid farewell to the beers of summer at Celery City’s Sour Outage

Before bar menus are taken over by all-pumpkin everything, hike down to Sanford for Celery City Craft’s second annual showcase of sour beers. The taps are devoted to 15 different sours and goses, and include everything from locals like Coppertail and Hourglass to rare collaboration brews from Jolly Pumpkin and Jester King. You’ve already missed…

Thanks to Irma, Florida is now a literal pile of poop

Millions of gallons of raw sewage have overflowed into the streets and waterways of Florida, thanks to the stress of Hurricane Irma on an aging and inadequate infrastructure. More than 200 reports of sewage spills have been submitted to the Florida Department of Environmental Protection, ranging from a few hundred gallons to multimillions of gallons.…

Cafe Rio will open their first Florida location in Winter Park next week

Not even a hurricane can keep Floridians from experiencing the promise of a burrito doused in Creamy Tomatillo Ranch. Cafe Rio Mexican Grill, the popular Utah-based Tex-Mex chain, will host their soft opening at 10 a.m. Wednesday, Sept. 27, at their new Winter Park location in front of the Winter Park Whole Foods (1050 N. Orlando Ave., Winter…

Black metal band Belphegor are coming to Orlando in November

In news sure to make any Central Floridian metal fan smile (grimly), Austrian black metal group Belphegor are heading out on tour with stellar Canadian death metal band Cryptopsy this autumn. And the one and only Florida engagement for these groups will be in Orlando! Belphegor play the Haven Lounge with Cryptopsy on Sunday, Nov.…

Florida tolls will resume Thursday after suspension during Hurricane Irma

Tolls on Florida’s roadways will resume on Thursday after being suspended by Gov. Rick Scott as millions evacuated before Hurricane Irma hit the state. The Florida Department of Transportation says tolls on a majority of the state’s turnpike system, FDOT transportation roads and bridges, and all regional toll facilities will be reinstated on Sept. 21 at midnight.…

Orlando Meats butcher shop is now serving breakfast and lunch

Orlando Meats has the meats, and now breakfast and lunch too. The restaurant side of the local butcher shop located at 728 Virginia Drive is now in soft opening, serving up breakfast and lunch daily. The menu features local and seasonal ingredients, as well as pastured meats sourced within 250 miles of the establishment. Breakfast includes…

South Florida nursery challenges denial of marijuana license

A Homestead-based nursery is challenging a decision by state health officials to deny the grower a medical marijuana license. The Florida Department of Health last month rejected a request by Keith St. Germain Nursery Farms, which sought a license under a law approved this year. The new law, passed during a June special legislative session,…

Republican ads target Winter Park’s Stephanie Murphy

Republicans are launching attack ads against U.S. Rep. Stephanie Murphy, D-Winter Park, targeting her on a vote against a defense spending bill that would have funded President Donald Trump’s border wall. Local GOP leaders have already identified Murphy’s District 7 position as a seat that could possibly switch to Republicans in the next election, though Murphy…

Just a reminder that all Florida tolls are still suspended, ya’ll

Florida Governor Rick Scott announced that all tolls are still suspended as the state recovers from Hurricane Irma. Scott made the announcement today in a statement on Hurricane Irma relief efforts, which also included updates on power outages, school closures and shelters.   Gov. Rick Scott initially directed the Florida Department of Transportation to cease…

Aaron Carter is performing at Southern Nights this weekend

Aaron Carter – pop star and brother of Backstreet Boys’ Nick Carter – will play a surprise engagement at Southern Nights this weekend. The singer, who once beat Shaq in a pickup game, has had his share of personal troubles lately, and made headlines for coming out as bisexual last month, but hopes are high that…

Evacuation orders issued for Puerto Rico as Hurricane Maria closes in

Just two weeks ago, Hurricane Irma hit Puerto Rico and killed at least 3, now evacuation orders have been issued for parts of the island as Hurricane Maria nears. According to the National Hurricane Center, Maria is now a Category 3 hurricane with over 120 mph sustained winds and is expected to intensify to a Category…

The Queen Returns – Lydia Lunch to play Orlando in November

No-wave queen and performance art/literary terror Lydia Lunch is set to make what is sure to be a confrontational return appearance in Orlando this autumn. The singer will bring her Retrovirus ensemble – including Bob Bert, Weasel Walter and Tim Dahl – for a white-knuckle trip through a musical oeuvre that includes Teenage Jesus and…

Too Much Sauce in Mills Park is now in soft opening mode

You can add another quick-service, do-it-yourself spot to your foodie list. Too Much Sauce will host their official soft opening tonight, Sept. 18, at their Mills Park location (1430 N. Mills Ave., Suite 170), which is the space formerly occupied by Giraffas Brazilian Grill in the Fresh Market Plaza. The new concept comes from the…

Duke Energy Florida president: ‘We deeply apologize’

The president of Duke Energy Florida wants you to know they’re very sorry. The utility company released a statement yesterday, Sept. 17, announcing that they’ve restored power to 90 percent of their 1.3 million customers who have been without power since Hurricane Irma hit Florida, and also to apologize these extremely frustrated people.  “To the…

SeaWorld’s new indoor park may be a glimpse at the future of the brand

Late last year, SeaWorld Parks announced that it was partnering with Middle East-based Miral Asset Management to build its first international SeaWorld park in Abu Dhabi. SeaWorld had been hinting at the new park since 2014, when it confirmed it was renewing plans for a Middle East expansion. At the time of the press release…

Orlando is one of the worst cities to live for millennials, says study

A new study says Orlando is one of the the suckiest places in the nation for millennials to live. Apartment List, a San Francisco-based apartment and home rental website, has published a recent report about the top U.S. metros for millennials. And who’s near the bottom? Orlando. Out of 75 ranked cities, Orlando fared 73rd…

Hulk Hogan says people complaining about not having power or water are ‘crybabies’

Hulk Hogan, a Florida resident currently with electricity running to his home, says those of you complaining about not having electricity are “crybabies” who deserve “head butts.” Hogan, whose real name is Terry Bollea, went to Twitter yesterday to call out Floridians, who apparently don’t know “how bad it could be.” No water,no power,crybabies,everyone's complaining,these…

Duke Energy says all power in Orange County should be restored by Sunday

According to Duke Energy’s latest progress report, the energy company says it plans for Orange County to have its power fully restored by midnight on Sunday, Sept. 17. Currently, 46,793 Duke Energy customers are still without power in Orange County. Duke Energy also says Seminole County should have its power fully restored by Sunday, as…

Niall Horan of One Direction announces Orlando show in November

Are you ready to scream? Niall Horan of Brit boyband sensation One Direction has announced additional solo dates today for his “Flicker Sessions” tour and it includes one very intimate Orlando show. Eschewing arenas, Horan will be playing the House of House of Blues in November with country singer Maren Morris. Niall Horan plays the…

Turns out one of the Gainesville ‘Hot Cops’ is a dick

One of the Gainesville “Hot Cops,” whose selfie went viral last weekend after Hurricane Irma, is the subject of an internal investigation after Facebook posts show he has a propensity for Hitler jokes. Officer Michael Hamill, the bearded one, is being investigated for posting anti-semitic comments to his Facebook page, reports The Gainesville Sun. In a…

Orlando is now a finalist for Elon Musk’s Hyperloop One project

Orlando is now a finalist for billionaire Elon Musk’s Hyperloop One project, which is essentially a vacuum tube that would allow you to travel at speeds up to 750 mph and arrive in Miami in about 26 minutes. Out of 26,000 submissions, officials with Hyperloop One announced the ten winning plans for the project yesterday,…

Ellen DeGeneres wants her robot back from Epcot

Last month, Disney axed the Ellen’s Energy Adventure attraction at Epcot, which was one of the best places to take a nap. Now, the daytime talk show host and subject of a song by Lil B would like her animatronic robot back. Ellen says she has multiple uses for the robot. “It can host my show…

Ikea offers discount to those affected by Hurricane Irma

IKEA is offering a 15 percent discount to customers in select Florida cities, as they recover from Hurricane Irma. Shoppers at Sunrise, Miami, Orlando and Tampa IKEA stores will be able to purchase replacement furniture and household items at a cheaper rate. No coupon code is necessary to receive the discount. Correction: A previous version…

7 Orlando concerts actually happening tonight

Concert calendars have been thrown into disarray by loss of power at venues and touring bands having to reroute due to Hurricane Irma. Despite all of those obstacles, here are seven shows tonight that are, as of this writing, confirmed to be on if you need a loud night out. All listings (sigh) are subject…

Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights kicks off today

Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Orlando is back this Friday, Sept. 15. Running through Nov. 4, the 27th annual scarefest will feature nine haunted houses, five scare zones on the road and walkways, and two live shows. In keeping with tradition, this year’s Halloween Horror Nights will include a few memorable faces and worlds…

FEMA aid now available in Orange County for those effected by Hurricane Irma

Orange County residents whose homes were damaged by the passing of Hurricane Irma may be eligible for federal disaster assistance. With the hurricane’s impact still being felt far and wide across Central Florida, FEMA — the Federal Emergency Management Agency — has moved to provide Individual Aid to the residents of several local counties. Previously intended…

Florida nursing home where 6 died after no air conditioning was rated ‘below average’ by feds

A Hollywood nursing home where six residents died Wednesday after Hurricane Irma is rated “below average” in a federal scorecard that includes information about issues such as inspections, staffing and quality of care. The Sun Sentinel newspaper reported that three people died at The Rehabilitation Center at Hollywood Hills, while three were declared dead at…

Hurricane Irma completely flooded Wekiva Island

Wekiva Island, a favorite local swimming spot and bar, is completely flooded following Hurricane Irma. The 2,000-square-foot recreation complex shared on Facebook Monday that it “suffered some pretty severe flooding” and will be closed until further notice. Mary Sue Weinaug, executive director of Keep Seminole Beautiful and co-owner of Wekiva Island, stated  that “the classroom is about…

Three Orlando concerts actually happening tonight

Concert calendars have been thrown into disarray by loss of power at venues and touring bands having to reroute due to Hurricane Irma. Despite all of those obstacles, here are three shows tonight that are, as of this writing, confirmed to be on if you need a loud night out. All listings (sigh) are subject…

Donald Trump plans to visit Florida this Thursday

In the wake Hurricane Irma, President Donald Trump says he plans to travel to Florida this Thursday, Sept. 14. Trump made the announcement from, his Twitter account early Wednesday morning, but did not mention any specific details of his trip other than he plans to meet with the Coast Guard and FEMA and other first…

Walt Disney Company donates $2.5 million to Hurricane Irma relief

Yesterday, the Walt Disney Company announced that they have committed $2.5 million to aid those affected by Hurricane Irma. According to a statement from Disney, the funds will go to the American Red Cross, UNICEF, Save the Children and other nonprofits. “As millions of people now face the daunting challenge of putting their lives and communities…

Savage Love: ‘Burning Love’

I have been in a long-term relationship with a wonderful woman who doesn’t have a lot of people she socializes with in her daily life. She is a Burning Man person and converses online with other “burners.” I confronted her when I realized she was discussing the ups and downs of our relationship in a…

Gimme Shelter: Meet Havana!

Are you looking for sweet kitty friend? Meet Havana! Havana (A384054) is six months old and recently returned from foster care. This girl absolutely loves to play with all types of toys and has a ton of energy! She’ll be sure to keep you entertained. She is super sweet and will purr as soon as…

Legal Public Notices 9/13

Orlando Legals Legal Public Notices IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA DIVISION: 7/ DAWSON PINE HILLS ADVOCACY CENTER CASE NO.: DP13-569 In the Interest of: B.S. DOB: 06/24/2011, MINOR CHILD SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA TO: Sierra Shavers,…

Selections: Our picks for the best things to do in Orlando this week

Wednesday, Sept. 13 CANCELLED – Lydia Loveless music With a voice that’s pure muscle in a bottle, Midwestern kicker Lydia Loveless first knocked us down in 2012 as a 21-year-old phenom at a Bloodshot Records showcase at the Social where she managed to shine even alongside the usually eclipsing spectacle of wild-man labelmate Scott H.…


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