Review – Someone, Somewhere
Artist: Robert Roth
Ripley: Believe it
Movie: Ripley’s game
Review – Internal Dialogue
Artist: Internal Dialogue
Movie: Van Helsing
Our Rating: 1.50 I could allow myself to be seriously dismayed that this movie is a two-hour battering ram of stupidity. I could be outraged that it mangles at least four mythologies, all in the service of crappy CGI, criminal overacting and video-game nonphysics. But for almost as long as I’ve been alive, the Universal…
Movie: Envy
Our Rating: 2.50 If it looks like a chicken and walks like a chicken, it’s probably a chicken; if it sits on a studio’s shelf for a year, it’s probably a turkey. Yet this mucho-delayed Barry Levinson comedy isn’t nearly as wretched as expected — just underthought. Taking its cue from the Morrissey credo “We…
Review – Black Box: The Complete Original Black Sabbath 1970-1978
Artist: Black Sabbath
Review – This Is a Process of a Still Life
Artist: Still Life
Review – Faking the Books
Artist: Lali Puna
Review – Someone, Somewhere
Artist: Robert Roth
Review – Internal Dialogue
Artist: Internal Dialogue
Movie: Envy
Envy Studio: Dreamworks Website: http://www.dreamworks.com/envy/ Release Date: 2004-04-30 Cast: Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Rachel Weisz, Amy Poehler, Stephanie Adams Director: Barry Levinson Screenwriter: Steve Adams, Larry David WorkNameSort: Envy Our Rating: 2.50 If it looks like a chicken and walks like a chicken, it’s probably a chicken; if it sits on a studio’s shelf for…
Movie: New York Minute
New York Minute Studio: Warner Bros. Website: http://newyorkminutemovie.warnerbros.com/ Release Date: 2004-05-07 Cast: Mary-Kate Olsen, Ashley Olsen, Eugene Levy, Andy Richter, Darrell Hammond Director: Dennie Gordon Screenwriter: Emily Fox, Adam Cooper, William Collage WorkNameSort: New York Minute Our Rating: 1.00 If there was any doubt that this Olsen twins vehicle would be targeted directly at the…
Ripley: Believe it
Movie: Ripley’s game
Movie: Van Helsing
Van Helsing Studio: Universal Website: http://www.vanhelsing.net/ Release Date: 2004-05-07 Cast: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, Elena Anaya, David Wenham Director: Stephen Sommers Screenwriter: Stephen Sommers WorkNameSort: Van Helsing Our Rating: 1.50 I could allow myself to be seriously dismayed that this movie is a two-hour battering ram of stupidity. I could be outraged that…
Review – Black Box: The Complete Original Black Sabbath 1970-1978
Artist: Black Sabbath
Review – Black Box: The Complete Original Black Sabbath 1970-1978
Artist: Black Sabbath
Review – Faking the Books
Artist: Lali Puna
Review – This Is a Process of a Still Life
Artist: Still Life
Review – Someone, Somewhere
Artist: Robert Roth
Review – Faking the Books
Artist: Lali Puna
Movie: New York Minute
Our Rating: 1.00 If there was any doubt that this Olsen twins vehicle would be targeted directly at the dirty old men of the Internet who know just how many days remain before the gals turn 18, it evaporates minutes into the flick, when Ashley (I think it was) takes a shower in the company…
Review – Internal Dialogue
Artist: Internal Dialogue
The machine must be broken
In a hoarse voice, Eyedea — one of America’s top freestyle MCs — rejects the very arena that made him famous: “The whole battle scene is ungratifying. It’s not `an` artistic enough endeavor to be pleasing.” While it may seem odd for an artist to reject the medium that he’s mastered, hip-hop group Eyedea &…
Get Yellow-bellied in Gotha
A good cook used to be someone who could take so-so ingredients and make something fancy. These days, however, “good cooking” means using the highest quality ingredients and doing as little as possible to them to screw them up. Yellow Dog Eats falls squarely in the latter category. The food, though simple, is scrupulously fresh…
Lawsuits against Bush and the Xtreme Pro Challenge
A guy named Rick called Happytown™ HQ three times last week to ask if we were going to write anything about the $50 million lawsuit filed by a Texas woman alleging that she had been drugged and raped by none other than President George W. Bush. “Dunno,” we said. “Never heard of it.” “It’s true,”…
The machine must be broken
In a hoarse voice, Eyedea — one of America’s top freestyle MCs — rejects the very arena that made him famous: “The whole battle scene is ungratifying. It’s not `an` artistic enough endeavor to be pleasing.” While it may seem odd for an artist to reject the medium that he’s mastered, hip-hop group Eyedea &…
It’s easy if you try
While politics and noble causes are often found at the heart of musical endeavors, the “Plea for Peace” tour is putting a new spin on activism. The bands involved are not pushing ideas on anarchy, straight-edge lifestyles, or even any particular political party. All they really want is for the emo kids to get out…
“… but I know what I like”
Sometimes it’s hard to see the good in teenagers. I mean, they get more shiftless and sullen all the time. You try to have even the simplest exchange with them, and you come to the swift, inescapable conclusion that they’re rock-stupid and perfectly content to stay that way. They clog up the mall with their…
Gaijin gone wild
In the miso soup Ryu Murakami (Kodansha International, 180 pp) $22.95 Looking out on the blasting neon lights of Tokyo’s legendary Shinjuku night-life district from the elevated vantage point of one of the high-rise hotels or multilevel department stores that surround Shinjuku station, you get an image of an explosively vibrant neighborhood, filled with people…
Terry Jones is a very naughty boy
(In 1979, the members of the beloved British comedy troupe Monty Python graced cinemas with their “Life of Brian,” the stirring tale of a half-Judean, half-Roman nebbish who is mistaken for the messiah by a naïve populace. We hope you’re sitting down when we tell you that some people were offended. On the occasion of…
Poisoned policy
If you picked up a scoop of dirt near the intersection of I-275 and Gandy Boulevard in Pinellas Park, you’d most likely hold more lead than soil. That’s because, according to a contamination report by a Tampa engineering firm, there’s a lot of lead in the area; somewhere between 10,000 and 13,000 tons of it.…
It’s getting drafty
Every citizen, men and women, ages 18 to 26. No college deferment. A new Canadian border policy to return dodgers. Two years of service, regardless of war or peacetime commitment. This is not an exaggeration. This is the language it uses. In the House, it’s House Resolution 163. In the Senate, it’s Senate Bill 89.…
Are we vibrant yet?
“Cities are often judged by their downtowns — and a vibrant, thriving downtown area is the cornerstone of a strong, robust region. No one knows that better than Mayor Buddy Dyer. And nowhere is that more true than in Orlando.” — Mayor Buddy Dyer’s Downtown Strategic Transition Team 20-Point Strategic Plan, Sept. 25, 2003. Ultimately,…
We’re mean girls
Avenue hipness and the nethers of wretched, double-popped overexposure. Staring down at our earthbound feet, looking Bleecker Street busy, and trying to maintain — simply maintain — an air of post-Strokes credibility. Anyone see CBGB? Yeah, me neither. A homeless man walks by and begs for some change on Orange Avenue. Some change? Forget about…
Litigious land of Lincoln
As Illinois legislators debate solutions to the rising cost of medical malpractice insurance, newspaper reports from several cities have chronicled the local exodus of neurosurgeons and ob-gyn doctors to avoid the state’s oppressive premiums (typically tripling or quadrupling over the last three years), costs that doctors usually must absorb because of health-insurance contract restrictions. Carbondale…
