The Bourne Ultimatum
The Bourne Ultimatum Studio: Universal Rated: PG-13 Cast: Matt Damon, Joan Allen Director: Paul Greengrass, Peter MacDonald WorkNameSort: Bourne Ultimatum, The Our Rating: 4.00 The Bourne Ultimatum isn’t the best in the trilogy of international espionage thrillers about assassin Jason Bourne’s search for his identity, but it is the best action movie of the year…
Bratz
Bratz Studio: Lionsgate Rated: PG Cast: Skyler Shaye, Janel Parrish Director: Sean McNamara WorkNameSort: Bratz Our Rating: 1.00 The producers of this lame-brained tie-in say they wanted to scrape the inch-thick mascara off the toy industry’s most infamous collection of anorexic prosti-tots and expose the faces of genuine role models shining proudly underneath. The result…
El Cantante
El Cantante Studio: Picturehouse Rated: R Cast: Marc Anthony, Jennifer Lopez Director: Leon Ichaso WorkNameSort: El Cantante Our Rating: 2.50 It’s a shame that most people will want to bring up Jennifer Lopez when they talk about El Cantante, because it’s her husband, Marc Anthony, who’s the real star here. As salsa pioneer Hector Lavoe,…
Hot Rod
Hot Rod Studio: Paramount Rated: PG-13 Cast: Andy Samberg, Isla Fisher Director: Akiva Schaffer WorkNameSort: Hot Rod Our Rating: 0.50 Hot Rod tries too hard and with embarrassing results to channel the zany absurdism of Will Ferrell’s recent comedies, sharing with them a crudely simple plot but none of the inspiration. Produced by Lorne Michaels…
Popeye the Sailor: 1933-1938
Popeye the Sailor: 1933-1938 Studio: Warner Home Video WorkNameSort: Popeye the Sailor: 1933-1938 A tattooed smoker with a knack for trouble, he could almost qualify as one of Hollywood’s bad boys. Really, he’s just Popeye ‘ brawler, spinach fiend and sailor man extraordinaire. Born on the newspaper page in 1929, Popeye began as a bit…
Kon Ichikawa’s 47 Ronin
Kon Ichikawa’s 47 Ronin Studio: AnimEigo WorkNameSort: Kon Ichikawa’s 47 Ronin I can’t fathom a less exciting samurai film than what Kon Ichikawa has given us, a stilted and talky derivation of one of the most famous, near-mythical stories in Japanese folklore. Like Jean Renoir’s Le Marseillaise and Ken Loach’s The Wind That Shakes the…
Super Freinds: The Legendary Super Powers Show – The Complete Series
Super Freinds: The Legendary Super Powers Show – The Complete Series Studio: Warner Home Video WorkNameSort: Super Freinds: The Legendary Super Powers Show – The Complete Series Form of a box set! Shape of a bonus feature! This isn’t the original early-’70s Super Friends show, but the later 1984 incarnation created to tie in with…
Tainted Love: Mating Calls and Fight Songs
Tainted Love: Mating Calls and Fight Songs Label: Zoë Length: LP Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Tainted Love: Mating Calls and Fight Songs An album of cover songs called Tainted Love that doesn’t include ‘Tainted Love?â?� That’s not the only surprise within this 11-track cavalcade of woozy, swampy remakes of unexpected love songs. In lesser…
Goodbye
Goodbye Label: Domino Length: LP Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Goodbye Ambient music is hard to do right. For every Aphex Twin or Global Communication ‘ or Brian Eno, for that matter ‘ there are plenty of records that are so chilled-out, they’re cold and amount to little more than sonic wallpaper. Ulrich Schnauss has…
Country Mouse, City House
Country Mouse, City House Label: Bedroom Classics Length: LP Rated: NONE Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Country Mouse, City House After stumbling on his previous album, Subtitulo, this criminally underrated artist is rejuvenated with a much more definitive effort. Further tweaking his ’70s singer/songwriter aesthetic, Rouse revisits elements that worked best for him. Gentle country…
BLACK MARKET DISH
;I spent much of the 18th year of my life trying to figure out what exactly Mike O’Brien was singing in “Communist Radio.” I’m now 30 years old and still know only half of the lyrics. What I do know is I’m as proud now as I was then of the state I come from,…
WATCHING THE WATCHERS
Four months ago, ACLU Central Chapter president George Crossley went public with his intentions to monitor the local police with hand-held video cameras. He, along with activists Ben Markeson and Josh Leclair, launched CopWatch largely to address perceived racial profiling by the police in an era and an area of escalating criminal behavior. CopWatch has…
SUMMER OF LOVE HANDLES
Just like Pan, we were the kids who were never supposed to grow up. So those of us who represent the tail end of the Baby Boom are staving off our inevitable midlife crisis the only ways we know how: by acting like horny prom dates, and by doing it on national television. This week…
OUR DUMB(ER) STATE
;Two years ago we offered a simple hypothesis. Allow us to quote ourselves: “When something so idiotic as to be almost inconceivable happens, chances are it happened here.” ;; ;Here, as in Florida. The Mecca of Morons. The Land of Losers. We had hoped that 2005’s compendium of idiocy was an aberration, that maybe Florida…
WHO YOU CALLIN’ ETHNIC?
In the seven or so years I’ve been working as a restaurant critic, I’ve studiously avoided the word “tasty.” It’s a trivial, even silly thing, but my self-imposed ban on the word reminds me to steer clear of pat, empty descriptions and strive for something better. Restaurant criticism lives and dies on the use of…
BLISTER
;”If you don’t get here soon, I’m carving your name into my arm!” I sniffle, paranoid-peeking through the blinds. I hate my parents. I hate my parents. I hate my parents. ;;”Ooooh, then I’m slowing down,” comes Tony’s twisted telephonic triage. “I’d love to see that!” ;;We’re going to a suicide party. Well, not necessarily…
SAVAGE LOVE
I’m an 18-year-old guy with an awesome kinky girlfriend. She likes getting tied up, blindfolded, spanked and just about anything else we can think of. It’s awesome. My question is this: We were watching some BDSM porn and they used these awesome contact lenses that worked as blindfolds because they were completely opaque. I’ve searched…
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
;ARIES (March 21-April 19) Would you like to shed your soul’s baby fat without having to go on a diet? Do you want to supercharge your immune system, improve your memory for the events that really matter and build the spiritual power of your sexual feelings? Are you interested in postponing forehead wrinkles, getting glimpses…
THIS LITTLE UNDERGROUND
On the way to Gainesville the other day, I happened across a signal out of McIntosh on the FM dial by sheer serendipity. Never heard of McIntosh? Me neither, and I used to live in Gainesville. It’s a town of about 400 people hiding between there and Ocala and it boasts one great little radio…
WHAT’S COOKING
News from the Orlando dining scene: • Kevin Fonzo, brilliant chef of College Park’s K Restaurant and Wine Bar, is expanding his reach: He and his brother, Greg, have bought Babbo, the Italian restaurant just a few blocks down from K at 1710 Edgewater Drive. They’ll be renaming the restaurant Nonna — nominally aging the…
I LOVE TELEVISION
Call me “old-timey,” but it seems like you can’t swing a diabetic cat these days without hitting some movie where a bunch of teenagers are being physically tortured. There’s Saw, Hostel, Saw II, Hostel: Part II and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Now, I like the idea of torturing teenagers just as much…
CULTURE TO GO
;Playing fetch ;Petentials.com;www.petentials.com; ;Head to the front of the line to be a beta tester for a new website developed here in town ostensibly to make dates for your lonely pets. Silly, yes, but after browsing Petentials.com and seeing the commercial demo, there’s a tongue-in-cheek playfulness to the project that’s catchy. And there’s so much…
MUCH WORSE THAN SPIN
;We are about to spend $1.8 billion on downtown venues – don’t forget the interest – and you didn’t get a say in any of it. More to the point, it’s likely you didn’t even know very much about the deal. ;;And for that you can thank the Orlando Sentinel, which has so thoroughly botched,…
HAPPYTOWN
A tip from the Happytown™ Travel Desk: Do not have a heart attack, or other emergency medical situation, at the Orlando International Airport. You may find employees there remarkably unwilling to help you out. A safety memo released on June 22 (and mailed to Happytown™ HQ in a crafty envelope addressed with pink cutout newspaper…
POLICE BEAT
;JULY 18, 8:32 A.M.: A 43-year-old woman showed up for work this morning at a bread outlet store in the 4300 block of North Pine Hills Road, only to find a very crummy scenario. ; ;A suspect or suspects unknown gained entry to the doughy haven via the southeast warehouse door. Once inside, a mysterious…
MAIL SACK
Unfair and unbalanced This letter is offered to present a more balanced view of the Orange County GAL Program than was provided by Deanna Sheffield’s article “The least of us” `July 26`. If you accept Ms. Sheffield’s article as written, one would judge the success of a Guardian Ad Litem Program by two things: the…
Is “Abhorrent” gay or just British?
I vote the former, natch. Charlie Crist apparently blazer-ed into the Sentinel offices today to talk to Jane Healy’s manufactured dimples and their minions about Insurance. Dreamboat Maxwell had a “lightning round” with him thereafter (lightning = rod = I’m getting aroused) — mentioning GAY MARRIAGE — to be published at a later date. Anyway,…
