Nearly seven years after my first mention of Epic Universe in this column (back when it was known as “Fantastic Worlds”), I finally set foot inside Universal Orlando’s newest theme park earlier this month, as part of the very first group of media invited for previews prior to the May 22 grand opening.
Nine short hours were only enough time to scratch the surface of this expansive wonderland, even with the aid of a VIP tour guide to skip past the lines, but my TL;DR first impression is that I have a new favorite park in Orlando, and perhaps second only to Tokyo DisneySea in the entire world. I’m sure I’ll find things to kvetch about after future trips, but for today these are the top four reasons I loved Epic Universe at first sight:
No. 1: Harry Potter and the Battle at the Ministry
After two previous Potter-centric lands in the older parks, I was initially skeptical about the need for a third inspired by the lackluster Fantastic Beasts films, especially if it means putting more money into JKR’s increasingly problematic pocket. But it turns out that Universal’s richly textured re-creation of 1920s Paris — complete with charming street cafés along cobblestone boulevards and a forced perspective Sacré-Coeur dome shining in the distance — is the next closest thing to actually visiting Montmartre, minus the smell of French cigarettes and dog poo.
You’ll be tempted to sit and snack on Butterbeer crepes while the crowds go by, but be sure to hustle yourself towards the park’s signature attraction the second you get the signal that it’s up and running. Harry Potter and the Battle at the Ministry not only improves upon everything Universal innovated in their earlier Forbidden Journey and Escape From Gringotts dark rides, it decisively dethrones Disney’s Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance as the most awe-inspiring experience in any theme park.
A trip through the Métro-Floo fireplace (accompanied by light and smoke effects) to 1990s London is only the first of many jaw-dropping moments found in the queue, which includes the towering tiled lobby and an endearing animatronic house elf named Higgledy. Elevator-styled ride vehicles — which pitch and spin like Spider-Man’s SCOOPs, but with increased vertical heave — take attendees to witness the trial of Dolores Umbridge (Oscar-winner Imelda Staunton, reprising her role), which goes awry when Hogwarts’ sadistic ex-headmistress escapes and steals a Time-Turner to resurrect Voldemort.
Battle at the Ministry blurs the line so expertly between razor-sharp 2-D screens — featuring convincing digital doubles of Harry, Ron and Hermione — and frighteningly fluid animatronics that I stumbled off after five minutes unsure of what exactly I had seen, or how it could possibly have been pulled off without actual magic. The only thing I am sure of is my urgent need to ride it again and again and again. Thank Merlin it has a single-rider option, because Express Passes won’t be valid for this attraction, and the standby queue looks capable of holding over four hours of guests.
No. 2: Monsters Unchained: The Frankenstein Experiment
Unlike the Wizarding World, Dark Universe was my most anticipated area at Epic Universe, and this loving homage/updated reimagining of the Universal Classic Monsters did not disappoint in the least. Curse of the Werewolf, an outdoor family spinning coaster, has a fun boomerang element through a werewolf-infested shack, but it’s far too short to be much more than a glorified C-Ticket. The real weenie here is Frankenstein’s Manor, the gargantuan Gothic home to what would otherwise easily be my new favorite ride ever, if not for Battle at the Ministry.
Beginning with a preshow that showcases both the Kuka robotic arm that powers your ride vehicle (similar to Forbidden Journey) as well as the stunningly expressive animatronics that populate the experience, Monsters Unchained literally thrusts you into the middle of a battle between Frankenstein’s Monster and Dracula, with cameos from the full roster of vintage villains. Physically thrilling without being as nauseating at its Potter predecessor, and visually overwhelming without being overloaded with gore or jump-scares, this is as close to a perfect monster mashup as I could hope for, minus some minor muffled audio and missing effects. I’ll certainly be wearing out the single-rider entrance on this one as well.
No. 3: The Untrainable Dragon
I only first watched the first How to Train Your Dragon film and its sequel within the past month, and have no deep-rooted emotional attachment to the franchise. So when I report that one attraction inside the Isle of Berk not only entertained me, but made me bust into actual tears, it should tell you something. That attraction wasn’t Hiccup’s Wing Gliders, a Hagrid-lite launched family coaster that put a big smile on my face; nor Dragon Racer’s Rally, a spin-and-puke that would have launched my lunch (excellent barbecue from Oak & Star Tavern) had I strapped in.
Rather, it was The Untrainable Dragon, a 20-minute musical stage show featuring live drummers, vocalists and dancers alongside enormous dragon puppets, including ones that fly. This is the closest Universal entertainment has ever come to Broadway-quality production values, and having Toothless look down and blink at me as he soared overhead touched my heart like no theme park show has since Animal Kingdom’s original Finding Nemo musical. My only regret on my first Epic visit — and first priority when I return — is that I didn’t get to touch Toothless’ forehead myself in the nearby meet-and-greet paddock.
No. 4: Stardust Racers
Celestial Park, the verdant oasis that forms Epic Universe’s central hub, is mostly about Zen vibes, sporting soothing water features as well as several inviting watering holes. But it’s also home to the park’s most extreme thrill ride, the intertwined dueling launch coasters known as Stardust Racers. Although it doesn’t have Velocicoaster’s theming or multiple inversions, both tracks do deliver a breathtaking series of ejector airtime moments; I sat in the back row of the more-intense green side, and felt like my soul was being ejected from my body — in the best possible way.
Perhaps the only thing I found more thrilling than Stardust Racers’ negative Gs was its view of the building under construction on the expansion pad behind the Wizarding World. That’s exciting evidence that as epic as this universe’s journey has been so far, it’s only just beginning.
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