Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games is an immensely popular book series that has turned into a ridiculously popular movie franchise, but would the adventures of Katniss Everdeen translate into a vacation-worthy theme park? Um, probably not. But, according to Lionsgate CEO Jon Feltheimer, the studio is deep into discussions to do just that.
The series, set in a war-torn future, would actually make for a pretty damn depressing theme park. Seriously, who wants to spend the day in a bleak future where Tributes get chosen to fight to the death?
Let’s take a look at the possible “fun family attractions” that could inhabit the proposed park:
- A chariot-themed coaster that mimics the ride the Tributes take around the arena before the games begin
- A Spider-Man-esque ride that puts visitors smack in the middle of the Hunger Games, fighting for survival
- Some sort of underground District 12 coal mining ride
- A hunt, kill and cook your own lunch snack stand!
- A train ride where you tour all the Districts. Yeah, some would be kind of fun to see (District 1, anyone?), but most would be depressing
It’s not all bad, though. I mean, some of the stores might be neat:
- The Capitol Fashion Boutique, complete with an onsite Cinna of your very own
- The Training supply shop, where you can buy at-home versions of all the equipment the Tributes use to train for the Games
- And the best thing would be a pub run by Haymitch. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter has Hog’s Head Brew and Firewhiskey. The Hunger Games theme park would just have massive amounts of alcohol … the brand’s not important.
We plead with you, Lionsgate, please rethink this dystopian theme park. If it comes to fruition, it could easily be the saddest place on earth.
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This article appears in Aug 20-26, 2014.