It doesn’t take long living in Orlando to learn the essential tidbits and skills needed to thrive in the City Beautiful. There are certain topics every Orlando resident is a certified expert on, thanks to all the weird and wonderful things that happen right here in town.
From traffic, to alligators, to rocket launches to theme parks to highway eyesores, here are the things Orlandoans know absolutely everything about.
Trying to turn left onto Colonial going north on Mills
You will be invited to leave the city … rapidly. Credit: Photo by Marissa Mahoney
The Coop
610 W. Morse Blvd., Winter Park Famed Winter Park fried chicken destination The Coop closed its doors in July 2023, after nearly a decade on Morse Boulevard serving up high-quality Southern comestibles — not just fried chicken but sweet tea, shrimp and grits, coconut cake and more — to the denizens of Winter Park. Credit: Photo via the Coop/FacebookRide Rip Ride Rockit after a big meal
You know the drill, give your stomach some time to digest before you make yourself sick with theme park thrills. Credit: Photo via AdobeAlligator control
Alligator experts aren’t hard to come by in Orlando, where everyone knows to never walk your small dog next to a retention pond or lake and to always, always get really close to these natural killing machines to get a silly photo for Instagram. Credit: Photo via AdobeArchitecture, specifically when pertaining to the I-4 Eyesore
Everyone knows that if your city puts up one aesthetically displeasing building right next to a heavy-traffic highway, residents are going to see – and critique – it day in and day out. They’re right, though, sitting in stop-and-go traffic on possibly the worst portion of the worst highway around would be made so much better with a pretty building to look at. Credit: Photo by Christine van AsscheWhen it turned out he was married at Walt Disney World
There’s Clarence Thomas levels of wanting to attack the foundation of your own marriage going on here. Credit: Ron DeSantis/TwitterArt theft
The city makes national news for a major art scandal ONE time, which obviously means everyone in the Orlando area is now an experienced and accredited artistic advisor. Credit: Photo by Macbeth Studio/courtesy OMAWho belongs in the left lane
Orlando residents know that the fastest place to drive a car is in the left lane of any major highway or road. Yep, no other lane is faster, and if everyone just got into the left lane at the same time and drove the same speed then we wouldn’t have any issues. Credit: Photo via AdobeDrag lawsuits
The state of Florida is currently caught up fighting its way through a lawsuit about statewide drag show restrictions, all thanks to one very important Orlando institution. Hamburger Mary’s, we see you and thank you for making all Orlando residents legal experts. Credit: Photo via Church Street Station/InstagramHomegrown dairy
The official headquarters of the 1925-born dairy company T.G. Lee lives right here in Orlando’s Milk District, and any true Orlandoan will jump at the chance to talk about the calcium-fortified pride this brings locals. The real ones go even further to talk about how Thomas Gilbert Lee himself is also buried in town, and probably haunts all the overpriced eateries now taking over his beloved Milk District. Credit: Photo via TheMilkDistrict.orgSplash Mountain
Sure, this super sweet and unproblematic piece of theme park history is long gone. But that doesn’t mean the tried and true Orlandoans will shut up about it any time soon. Whether locals pride themselves on being a Splash Mountain apologist or just know all there is to know about the ride’s history at the park, they’re sure to have something to say. Credit: Photo via HarshLight/Wikimedia CommonsHigh-speed train travel
Orlando’s Brightline station has been open to passengers for not even three months, but you already know Central Floridians will jump to tell you about the ins and outs of this high-speed travel option, and probably also everything you should do when you get to Miami. Credit: Photo via Brightline/FacebookHurricanes
Orlando may not be coastal, but you can bet locals know all there is to know about the technical workings of spaghetti models and how to survive without A/C and drinking water siphoned from the upper deck of a toilet. And don’t forget, only the true Orlandoans know just the right strokes for swimming through a flooded street that most certainly does not contain broken power lines and aggravated, ready-to-bite amphibians. Credit: Photo by Matt Keller LehmanWatch a rocket launch from Cocoa Beach
Just a drive away from Orlando is Florida’s own taste of the final frontier: the Space Coast. Catch a rocket launch and grab some unforgettable Instagram pics. Credit: Photo via visitspacecoast.comBeefy King
424 N. Bumby Ave., Orlando
You come at the King, you best not miss. Orlando’s favorite spot for quick and easy roast beef sandwiches, full of community love, history and great prices. Credit: Photo via Beefy King/YelpHow to get in and out of the airport
A true Orlando resident knows the corresponding color for every airline, and is also keenly aware of what elevator to park next to for the quickest and most efficient routes to either ticketing or baggage claim. They’re also aware of the best culinary options in each terminal, as well as charging stations, beer taps and coffee. Credit: Photo via Orlando International Airport/FacebookBest Fried Chicken
Winner: Publix
Runners-up: Chicken Fire, The COOP* (closed July 2023) Credit: Photo via Publix on FacebookSpeakeasies
Orlando, being the epitome of elegance and decorum that it is, is home to a sizable amount of speakeasies and speakeasy-style bars. That means, of course, that Orlandoans are sure to have plenty of opinions on the not-at-all gimmicky bars and which are the best. Plus, they’ll probably let you in on all the little-known entry passwords that are definitely not plastered all over the bar’s social media pages. Credit: Photo via Cocktails and Screams/FacebookCredit: Image via AdobeCelebrity chef-owned restaurant chains
Orlando, being the tourist hotspot it is, is full of restaurant megachains, many of which are brought to town by their celebrity chef owners. From Guy Fieri to Gordon Ramsay to (soon) Shaq and plenty more, Orlando residents have a variety of celeb restaurants to keep talking about. Credit: Photo via Chicken Guy!/Facebook
