In Central Florida, you can: Swim with manatees! Dig for treasure at Renninger’s! Brave the nude beach! Create spectacular murals without police interruption! And lots more!
Illustrations by Brendan O’Connor
Swimming with manatees at Plantation on Crystal River, Florida
Info: 7:15 a.m. daily, Plantation on Crystal River, 9301 W. Fort Island Trail, Crystal River, $129-$209 hotel rooms, $55 manatee snorkel tour
Why: Captain Ed, formerly of the U.S. Coast Guard, was our chaperone for the day. He taught us all about King’s Bay and “passive observation” which was the buzzword of the park. Crystal River is one of the best places in the country to see the Florida manatee because unlike everywhere else in the state, it’s legal to not only swim with this protected species but you can actually reach out and touch them. Read more.Sending holiday letters from Christmas, Florida
Info: 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday-Friday, 9 a.m.-noon Saturday; Christmas Post Office, 23589 E. Colonial Drive, Christmas
Why: Yes, those musical holiday e-cards where you paste your face on dancing elves are snort-inducingly funny, but if you want to put a little more heart into your holiday correspondence than just clicking send in your underwear while watching Arrow, why not go old-school snail mail? Just drive a half-hour east of town to Christmas, Florida, where they’ll postmark your letters with a special “Christmas-themed” rubber stamp. Read more.Playalinda Beach
Info: 6 a.m.-6 p.m.; Canaveral National Seashore, Titusville
Why: The only structure in the preserve is the ticket booth at the front of the park, so there’s nothing obstructing your view of that gorgeous Atlantic horizon – except for that naked guy to your left. Yes, naked guy. Read more.Visit Lake Meadow Naturals farm
Info: Lake Meadow Naturals, 10000 Mark Adam Road, Ocoee
Why: It’s not just about shopping or eating – there’s a good vibe that flows throughout the grounds, the product of happy, organically raised animals and dedicated people working in harmony. The farm hosts farm-to-table dinners, at which you can enjoy the peaceful, pastoral setting in a more adult, less grocery-bagging-with-the-kids kind of way. Read more.Renninger’s Antique Extravaganza
Info: Check renningers.net to find out when the next Extravaganza is!
Why: More than 800 vendors from around the country descend on this little valley in Mount Dora four times a year to sell weird and wonderful things in a sea of tents, tables and trailers. Chairs, bikes, baskets, rescued stained glass windows, Nazi paraphernalia, bad taxidermy – it’s like a gypsy/fairy market from a Guillermo del Toro movie. Read more.Eugene Snowden’s Ten Pints of Truth
Info: 10 p.m. every Wednesday at Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; willspub.org; free
Why: As barflies shuffle in and out of Indies, they risk becoming part of Snowden’s splendidly drunk ruckus, as the singer isn’t afraid to start a conversation mid-song, spin a passerby in a quick dance or call out anybody who dares disturb the scene more than he already is. Read more.Wednesday Night Pitcher Show
Info: Eden Bar, Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; free movie
Why: The movie selections are often nostalgic and culty, like the upcoming screenings of The Exorcist and Death to Smoochy, and coincidentally, they’re usually the kind of movie that’s better while drankin’ with friends. If you get there early, not only do you get a better parking spot, but you also get to play Jell-O shot movie trivia. Read more.Volunteer at Orange County Animal Services
Info: Orange County Animal Services, 2769 Conroy Road
Why: Yes, it can be sad. It can also be hard, sweaty work. But every time you send a family up to the front desk to fill out the adoption paperwork for a dog or a cat that you just helped them get to know, it all becomes worth it. Orange County Animal Services is in desperate need of volunteers right now, during the week and on weekends. Read more.Walls of Pho Hoa Permission Wall
Info: Walls of Pho Hoa, 649 N. Primrose Drive; free; 407-895-6098
Why: A “permission wall” is a place where artists can get permission to express themselves on public walls without the fear of incarceration. It also allows the artist more time to make their piece than if they were hanging upside down from a roof in the middle of the night. And Orlando’s got one! Read more.Bioluminescent kayaking the Mosquito Lagoon
Info: A Day Away Kayak Tours, Merritt Island National Wildlife Refuge, Titusville
Why: Fish were flying around our boats like neon fireworks, grasses swaying in the water glittered like stars in the sky, every dip of an oar into the water created what looked like a ball of watery green flames. Read more.A more magical nighttime spectacular
Info: 10 p.m.; Magic Kingdom, Lake Buena Vista; 407-939-5277; $15-20 parking at Transportation and Ticket Center, free at Polynesian Resort
Why: Park your car for free at the Polynesian Resort – tell the parking attendant you’re going to Ohana or something if they heckle you – and walk straight through the lobby to the pool bar out back by the lake. There’s a beach, lawn chairs and hammocks to lounge in while you sip your margarita and await the free show. Read more.Show some love for scrub jays on the Lyonia Wildlife Walk
Info: Sunrise to sunset; Lyonia Preserve, 2150 Eustace Ave., Deltona; 386-736-5927, volusia.org; free
Why: Scrub jays, as the birds are called, stay in family packs and they’re super smart. They love to check out hikers, just like the little “compies” from the second Jurassic Park (the cute ones that eat the girl on the beach), and follow you along the hiking trails looking for food – which is against the rules, by the way. Don’t feed the animals, y’all. Read more.Winter in the Park Holiday Ice Skating Rink
Info: 3-9 p.m. Monday-Thursday, 3-10 p.m. Friday; 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Saturday, noon-8 p.m. Sunday; Through Jan. 11; Central Park West Meadow, Winter Park; $12 includes skates
Why: For all of us relocated Northern kids who grew up skating on any frozen surface available – ponds, flooded driveways, that shitty sidewalk by the school – skates on your feet seem to make the holidays feel just a little bit more magical (the same goes for moccasins and cross-country skis.) Combine that with hot cocoa and proximity to great restaurants and you’ve got yourself a recipe for a very merry day. Read more.The Rocky Horror Picture Show Halloween Extravaganza with the Rich Weirdoes
Info: 10 p.m. Friday; Universal Cineplex, Citywalk, Universal Studios; $11.49
Why: Performers, representing the cast of the film, hop up in front of the screen and pantomime the entire show. The Rich Weirdoes host this show monthly, but the best time to catch it is on Halloween, for their big extravaganza. Read more.