As a rabid theme park connoisseur and Star Wars nerd, the news that Disney is actually shelling out $1 billion to fund a “Star Wars Land” in Hollywood Studios just made me the most giddy dork on the block. I know I’m not the only Jedi-wannabe in Orlando and I would often lay awake at night dreaming of the perfect Star Wars playground. Holy crap, guys…Disney is finally making that a dream-come-true.

So I guess it’s time to channel 8-year-old Adam and throw out some ideas for what I think would be the greatest set of attractions for any Star Wars aficionado. Disney, are you listening? –Adam McCabe  

THE BATTLE OF HOTH: Alright, you’re gonna need to journey into my imagination on this one: Picture a giant roller coaster with tracks that wrap around (“dual with”) each other very much like the Dragon Challenge in The Wizarding World of Harry Potter…Only the setting is designed to look like the Battle Of Hoth, where a giant AT-AT (firing on all cylinders) looms menacingly in the center of the dogfight. The cars will resemble Snowspeeders in the front and back, but they’ll be lengthened to accommodate more people–as roller coasters do. The tracks will wrap iconically around the AT-AT’s legs as if attaching a tow cable that will eventually bring the giant machine down. Awesomely, the ride will start and end at Echo Base.
MOS EISLEY CANTINA: With Universal’s living realization of Krusty Burger coming to life, it’s almost a given that they would re-create the iconic Cantina from Episode IV, complete with animatronic band playing classic tunes (think Sonny Eclipse in Tomorrowland) and signature drinks. I would imagine it being one of Star Wars World’s main dining experiences…Let’s just hope nobody gets their hand cut off.
IMMERSIVE WORLDS: I would imagine that Disney is planning to re-create a few of the classic worlds that we have grown up with. The world of Star Wars is so rife with varied and beautiful scenery that they’re probably pulling their hair out even choosing two or three. For me, some of the top picks would be Tattoine, Endor, Hoth, Coruscant, or Dagobah. All of these planets (well, Endor’s a moon) are so varied in architecture and style, that it would be an absolute a feast for the eyes seeing all of these worlds come to life. Who knows? You may just stumble into a swamp and have a run-in with a little green Muppet…Not Kermit.
DEATH STAR INSURGENCY: Like the giant Spaceship Earth ball in Epcot Center, looming in the middle of it all, could be a massive representation of the Death Star itself. It wouldn’t just be for show, but would be a fully immersive live-action ride very much like Indiana Jones in California, or even using 3-D screens like the Transformers ride or Spiderman. You wouldn’t necessarily be in a fighter, but could be in a transport vehicle taking you throughout the battleship as you conveniently encounter the end of the death Star all the way up until Luke’s X-wing blows it up. Or maybe it could be a non-cannon personal adventure: you would be a Rebel spy infiltrating a sinister plan Darth Vader is hatching when all of a sudden you are discovered and sent on a frantic escape through the bowels of the ship. One can dream…
STAR WARS JEDI SPECTACULAR: Imagine you’re invited to attend a special ceremony that happens once every 10 years in honor of the new Jedi Knights graduating the Academy. Audiences sit in an arena and are told that they are going to see an example of the true power of the Force. Everything starts off safe, with minor examples of special effects and magic that only a Jedi could possess…And then the Sith decide to crash the party. What started as a noble display of heroism has now turned into an all-out war between the galaxies conflicting superpowers, and the audience is caught in the middle–special effects and explosions abound. We can even have a small side-story between a noble Jedi Master and his Padawan who maybe wasn’t worthy enough (or too rag-tag) to participate in the events of the day. We can follow that young Padawan’s arc as she or she realizes his or her true potential and eventually saves the day. Just enough battle carnage for the adults, and a bold lesson in bravery for the children. It would be perfect.
PADAWAN ACADEMY: Very much like Ollivander’s wand shop at The Wizarding World, children can have their very own catharsis where a Jedi Knight will personally discover them, tell them how strong the force is with them, and guide them to their very first lightsaber. It could be an interactive show where audiences can watch a young Jedi (a member of the audience) fumble with his/her new powers and ultimately begin on their path to becoming a hero of the Republic. It would be heartwarming for the audience, and life-changing for one lucky kid.
PODRACE EXPERIENCE: Now I’m just gonna get this one out of the way: I wasn’t the biggest fan of the prequels, though they had their redeeming moments…But not enough. One of those redeeming moments for me was the Podrace in Episode I. Could you imagine you and your friends in separate pods, racing toward the finish line at breakneck speeds, dodging canyons and setting malicious traps for each other? Hell, what if you could actually BUILD your own Pod Racer like the cars in Test Track at Epcot? I’d imagine the only way to pull this off would be a 3-D simulator, like an interactive video game ride experience. I wouldn’t imagine it taking up much room, and it would be one heck of a ride.
A SECOND STAR TOURS: Keeping with the theme that the mission of Star Tours is to transport you from one port to the other, it wouldn’t be too far-fetched of an idea to have another version of the signature attraction on another end of the park. I would assume that Disney plans on re-creating a few of the major worlds from the franchise, so it would be kind of cool seeing a different architecture for a relatively similar ride experience. What would a Star Tours port look like on the moon of Endor, or the ice-planet Hoth? Hey, they did it with Dumbo!
UNLIMITED EPISODE VII CONTENT: With Episode VII Looming on the horizon, there is obviously no doubt that Disney and JJ Abrams are working hand-in-hand on creating perfect synergy between universes. We are not sure where exactly the series is going (save for a few juicy rumors) but I have no doubt that whatever Disney is planning, it’s going to be magical and immersive. We are finally getting our Star Wars theme park, folks. Finally.
CARNIVAL GAMES: “Whack-An-Ewok” and a Jarjar Binks dunking-booth….that’s all I’m gonna say about that.