The United States is 250 years old this weekend. Unlike dog years, there’s no standard gauge on civilizations. So, unfortunately, there’s no sure way to tell if this current American phase is the messy years of recklessly self-indulgent youth that we’ll eventually outgrow and learn from or the twilight years of late-stage capitalism dementia where we’re going out in a blaze of lunacy and taking the world with us. Either way, happy birthday, America. I love you and hope to see us outlive this.
That said, fuck it, why not spend Independence Day at a gothic show? While Goth music may not exactly scream “July 4” like a diving eagle, neither does Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli or Freedom Williams on the can. However, for those who require more than the hilariously vacuous jive patriotism of Lee Greenwood — and maybe have a pathologically black wardrobe — it’s a reasonable choice.
The Kick in the Eye Goth Fest is therefore an ideal alternative for all you true alternatives. The loaded and requisitely dark pan-Florida lineup includes Fort Lauderdale’s Obsidian, Jacksonville’s Glass Chapel and the joyless Orlando division of L.U.S.T., Super Passive, KT Kink, Strangelace and DJ Smilin’ Dan. Being different is the ultimate expression of freedom. Goth bless America!
7 p.m. Saturday, July 4, Will’s Pub, willspub.org, $15-$20.
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This article appears in July 1-7, 2026 — Newcomers Guide.
