Cover Story
Weird Al blasts back during parody’s primetime
With his curls cropped tighter to his face and his previously signature mustache taut above his scrunched nose, most saw the mock-earnest accordion player careening on a stool in “My Bologna” and snickered at “Weird Al” Yankovic’s ridiculous rewrite of the Knack’s massive gold hit that year, “My Sharona” – which, by the way, is…
Farm-to-table specialists James & Julie Petrakis bid to open restaurant at Orlando International Airport
Bidding has opened on the rights to open a new sit-down restaurant airside at MCO – and some surprising names are battling for it next to the usual suspects. Proposals have been put forth by a team consisting of James & Julie Petrakis and Johnny Rivers (not 4 Rivers BBQ maven John Rivers – Johnny…
The Mercury Program takes flight at the Social with their hypnotic instrumental tracks
If you’re not excited about the Mercury Program’s show this week, then you have not been paying attention, but in this case, you are excused for not, um, getting with the Program. The frequently dormant band Rip Van Winkle’d fans by dropping Chez Viking after six years of silence in 2009, and now six years…
Will’s Pub hosts the Velvet Teen and their artful emo pop
Topshelf is determined to keep a certain tasteful strain of early emo bands alive, and among the litter of strays they’ve taken in is the Velvet Teen, whose lineup and aesthetic has shifted since their initial releases (following the loss of original drummer Logan Whitehurst), but whose intrigue remains solid with their first album in…
Movies Out Loud brings the needles to ‘Valley of the Dolls’ at the Abbey, you bring the pills
Oh, Watermark and Orlando Fringe – you had us at “she took the blue pills.” But then you went and added the green ones and the yellows, and you gave us hosts Jeff Jones and Michael Wanzie to moderate this screening of everyone’s favorite tale of 1960s show business fails, Valley of the Dolls. Even though you know…
The Dr. Phillips Center has Big Fun planned for ‘Heathers: The Musical’
It’s hard to overstate how beloved the 1988 black comedy Heathers is to adults of a certain age. Keep your Mean Girls, millennials; the foul-mouthed broads of Westerberg High could swear a circle around your precious Regina George. The cult classic was adapted into an Off-Broadway musical a few years ago, and opens at the…
4 local spots for chili heads
You know that one guy at the party who chomps down a habanero on a dare, or who goes ahead and orders the Ghost Chili Fries at Wendy’s? You might want to take a cue from those dudes if you’d like to live a little longer. A new study out of the Chinese Academy of…
Praise be, D’Angelo is coming to House of Blues in October
His late 2014 release Black Messiah still casts a mighty shadow over even the best 2015 releases so far, so it’s with a twitchy grin and eyebrows through my bangs that I found out D’Angelo is stopping through town 7 p.m. Monday, Oct. 5, at House of Blues. Tickets are $53.50 and go on sale…
Orange-Osceola Public Defender calls for end of “low-value” arrests
In response to 61-year-old hospice patient who was arrested last week for not paying court fees, Orange-Osceola Public Defender Robert Wesley called for an end to “low-value” arrests of people who can’t afford court fines. Wesley’s office is representing Larry Thompson, who was arrested by the Orlando Police Department on a judge-ordered writ for failing…
Someone vandalized the pink bunny statue at Lake Como Park
Lake Como Park’s pink bunny statue was vandalized, reports Jon Busdeker of the Orlando Sentinel. Pieces of the cement statue’s ears were knocked off and found laying on the ground Tuesday morning. From the Sentinel: “Both ears on the pink statue … have been broken. The left ear is almost completely destroyed, with a golf-ball…
A Bud Light truck overturned on I-75 this morning, committing a huge party foul
A semi-truck hauling Bud Light flipped over while traveling southbound on I-75 Tuesday morning, August 11. According to WFTS, the incident happened near SR-50 at 7:30 a.m. after the driver, Malcolm Jamal Wilcox, claims his (#UpForWhatever) lap dog distracted him. Wilcox swerved to the right, overcorrected and hit the guard rail, which caused the truck…
Co-host says John Brown’s Kardashian ‘meltdown’ on Good Day Orlando was fake
Apparently, John Brown isn’t really that angry about the Kardashians. Good Day Orlando’s Amy Kaufeldt went on 104.1’s The News Junkie yesterday, August 10, to talk about cats and how her co-host Brown planned his now viral meltdown about the Kardashians. It all started last Friday, when Brown refused to discuss Kylie Jenner’s new rabbit named…
Orange County Sheriff’s office is investigating inmate’s death after fighting a K-9
The Orange County Sheriff’s Office is investigating the death of a 22-year-old jail inmate who fought with a K-9 during arrest. Max Gracia was pronounced dead Monday after he was moved from the jail’s medical unit to Orlando Regional Medical Center, the Orlando Sentinel reports. Officials have not explained how Gracia died or his medical…
U.S. Women’s national soccer team is coming to Orlando
Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer shared on Twitter that the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team, champions of FIFA Women’s World Cup, will be playing Brazil in the Orlando Citrus Bowl on Oct. 25. The friendly match is part of a victory tour the team is doing to celebrate their FIFA victory. The "Soccer Capital of the…
Florida man slays routine at Miami Heat dancer tryouts
Keyth Wilson may not have made the cut last weekend, but no one can say he didn’t leave it all on the dance floor. “Dance and that’s it. It has no gender, no sexuality; it’s just dance. It’s an art, ” said Wilson to Local 10 Miami. There’s no rule prohibiting men from making an…
Florida witches are pissed at sheriff’s office for blaming recent triple murder on Wiccans
Last Friday, Escambia County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Sgt. Andrew Hobbes told the press that a recent triple murder in Pensacola, Florida was somehow “connected to some type of Wiccan ritual killing,” and now, naturally, Wiccans are pissed. “We try to stay hidden because we get so much bad press. But, we’re definitely not taking a…
Florida pastor, who’s terrible at math, claims defunding Planned Parenthood would fix national debt
Dr. Craig Conner, a senior pastor at First Baptist Church in Panama City and a man who desperately needs a calculator, claimed during his Sunday sermon, August 9, that defunding Planned Parenthood would fix our nation’s national debt “immediately.” According to Raw Story, Conner stated he would rather stop paying his taxes and go to…
Steve-O protested SeaWorld last night by climbing a crane and getting arrested
Jackass star Steve-O, known for stunts like letting people fart in his face and then vomiting, was arrested Sunday night after climbing a crane to protest animal abuse at SeaWorld. At 8 p.m. police and firefighters were called to a construction site located at Selma Avenue and Gower Street in Hollywood, California, to find the…
There was a massive street fight in downtown Orlando last night
According to a recent video, Sunday Funday got real when a huge street brawl went down last night, August 9, on W. Pine St and Orange Ave. It’s hard to tell exactly what is going on here, except that the fight clearly spills into W. Pine St. in front of the 55 West parking garage,…
New details released on the ‘7 star’ iSquare hotel
iSquare, the new “megamall” and “7 star hotel,” recently released new information on the project. Gone is the single massive hotel, now replaced by two hotels, one of which will have supposed “7 star amenities.” Large wave like sheets of glass wrap the lower levels of the HKS designed tower with what some have described…
This Little Underground: Face to Face deafens at Triple Crown residency (The Social)
Few pop-punk bands have as much well-earned prestige as Southern California’s Face to Face. By now, they’re a legacy band, and what people want to hear most from legacy bands at shows are the hits. To anyone other than the band’s cult, and likely the band itself, that can get stale eventually. Face to Face,…
UCF is organizing a nuclear weapons protest on the anniversary of the atomic bombing of Japan
Thousands will be rallying in 26 cities, including Orlando, this Sunday to protest nuclear weapons on the 70th anniversary of the U.S. atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan during World War II. The University of Central Florida Global Zero chapter is joining other Global Zero chapters worldwide to organize the “Bike Around the…
SeaWorld sees profits plummet $36.1 million in second quarter
Things aren’t looking too good for SeaWorld Entertainment. Aside from the company’s profits plunging about 84 percent in it second quarter, park attendance is down, the Orlando Sentinel reports. The decline in attendance, along with discounting and marketing expenses lead the company to a profit of $5.8 million this quarter, as opposed to $37.4 million…
Cops called to UCF frat house because of ‘suspicious’ protein powder
The UCF chapter of Theta Chi, a fraternity apparently filled with bros trying to get swole, was evacuated Friday, August 7, because of some “suspicious” protein powder. According to News 13, 35 bros were evacuated at around 11:30 p.m. Friday. Campus police were called after a cleaning crew found a cup of suspicious powder, more…
Latest Zagat ratings update; Cress tops the Orlando list
You voted (or did you?), Zagat listened, and the 2015 ratings are out. Based on food, decor, service and cost, the 30-point scale has typically been a dedicated diner-out’s benchmark for setting quality above buzz, with only the most longevitous restaurants making the list. This year, Cress Restaurant in DeLand, chef Hari Pulapaka’s farm-to-table (plus…
RJD2 headlines Ybor’s Plan B Block Party in September
Fall can’t come soon enough with its appealing concerts lineup, but we’ll be getting into that a little more in-depth in an upcoming issue at the end of this month, so keep an eye out. For now, who’s ready to geek about Plan B Block Party’s big announcement yesterday that the Tampa music festival booked…
Lord knows Meek Mill plays Gilt Nightclub in August
Some say this beef between Meek Mill and Drake is going to kill Mill’s career, so it makes a certain sense that the threat would keep Mill on the Drake defensive, but if his tantrums do end up not just biting him in the ass but swallowing him whole, you might want to say you…
Here’s a supercut of every Florida joke in 30 Rock
30 Rock always seemed to have an obsession with The Sunshine State and this supercut of every Florida jokes only proves it. Though, there may be a few missing, it seems the Tampa Tribune got all the good ones, including “Oh where are my manners? This is Florida, let me boil up a pot of…
Free sushi for “Friends of Kappo” today at East End Market rally
We told you earlier in the week that a DBPR restaurant inspector had ordered Kappo, the seven-seat omakase sushi bar at East End Market, to install a plastic sneeze guard or face a lawsuit. Supporters of chefs Jennifer Banagale, Mark Berdin and Lordfer Lalicon insist that the traditional cultural serving style Kappo offers has value to…
The Daily City Food Truck Bazaar features the Orlando debut of the No. 1 Currywurst Truck
Mach schnell to the Aug. 9 Daily City Food Truck Bazaar, where the No. 1 Currywurst Truck celebrates its first official Orlando appearance. Nicolas Neuhierl and his wife met while working in the German beer garden at Epcot (he’s from Munich, she’s from Berlin) and after their Disney experience, moved back to Germany together. But: “We loved…
The Get Up Kids celebrate their 20th anniversary at House of Blues with fellow emo vets Braid
Try not to pick on all these emo bands for celebrating anniversaries basically every year for some occasion or another – they’ve already thoroughly established through their lyrics how pensive and thoughtful they are; this endless rehashing is expected. Especially when it comes to cherished indie pop like the Get Up Kids, whose angsty rev…
Whole Foods wants to convince college kids it’s possible to cook a day’s worth of meals for $20
Whole Foods wants to help all of you students out there avoid the dreaded “Freshmen 15” by showing you what it takes to eat well. Next Thursday, August 13, the health food grocer will host their first ever “Dorm Room Cook-Off” challenge. Two chefs, armed only with $20 and your average dorm cooking utensils, will…
There’s an actual ‘Florida Man’ art exhibit in Miami
Students from Braddock High School in West Kendall, Miami were given three weeks to come up with a concept and fill the space at Locust Projects gallery. So, naturally, they chose to be inspired by Florida Man, the most baffling phenomena to ever come out of the Sunshine State. The exhibit is based on the popular Twitter account,…
Florida researcher helps discover new bizarre species of angler fish
Coming straight out of your nightmares, a Nova Southeastern University researcher and professor found a new species of angler fish with a face only a fish mother could love. Dr. Tracey Sutton found the unknown species, now Lasiognathus Regan, more than 3,000 feet below while studying the effects an oil spill had on deep-sea life in the…
Florida Legislature releases idea for gerrymander-free congressional districts
State lawmakers released a draft Wednesday of the new base map for Florida’s 27 congressional districts. The Legislature was forced to redraw the districts after the Florida Supreme Court ruled earlier in July that the congressional maps were gerrymandered to favor the Republican party and incumbents. The court ordered several districts revised, including District 5,…
Dogfish Head Craft Brewery’s Choc Lobster makes retail debut at World of Beer
Because who DOESN’T want chocolate and crustaceans in their pint? We kid, we kid. This month you can drink like a choc star at World of Beer, which has exclusive rights to Dogfish Head’s oyster stout-style Choc Lobster. This is the first time Dogfish Head has sold Choc Lobster outside their own breweries, so kiiiind…
Orlando City Soccer player Kaká is now enrolled at Full Sail
Captain of the Orlando City Soccer Club Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite, better known as Kaká, is going to school. According to SB Nation, after his “grande experiéncia” at Full Sail University, Kaká has confirmed his enrollment for a degree in Sports Marketing and Media (about $62,000 in tuition after all is said and done). The 33-year-old player…
Ravenous Pig debuts brunch menu, starting Aug. 8
Now that the monthly pig roast has moved down the street to Cask & Larder, there’s room in the Ravenous Pig’s weekend sched for Orlando’s new favorite pastime – waiting in line for brunch. Yesterday, the gastropub released a sneak peek of the much-anticipated menu, and we have to say, our palates are primed and…
Fingers crossed: Oudom’s Thai & Sushi takes on the notorious South Eola jinx spot
The space at 100 South Eola Drive hasn’t been kind to its tenants. In fact, it’s chewed up and spit out a number of high-end eateries, from Graze and Prickly Pear to Mingos and Lotus. Now comes word that Oudom’s Thai & Sushi, which already has restaurants in DeLand and Mount Dora, will take a…
The Scene II Underground Hip-Hop Festival at Venue 578 showcases Orlando’s best MCs, DJs and graffiti artists
Spoken-word artists? They’ve got ’em. Local bands and MCs? Expect more than 30. Live graffiti demos? Definitely. B-boys and B-girls? Yep. Vinyl swap meet? Hell yes. No wonder his event, which calls itself a “cultural marketplace” that represents Orlando’s alternative hip-hop scene, brought out nearly 1,000 people earlier this year. The goal is to connect…
Local writers pay a little respect to a derided genre at There Will Be Fan Fiction
Love it or hate it, fan fiction has become one of the most popular literary forms of the 21st century. Hordes of scribblers of wildly varying talent regularly post hundreds of thousands of unauthorized expansions of various fandoms to sites like AO3 or FanFiction.net. Some fanfic writers even get published after doing a search-and-replace of…
Jeb Bush has Twitter beef with Hillary Clinton over Planned Parenthood funding
In the style of Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift, 2016 presidential candidates Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton got into a Twitter beef Tuesday over women’s health funding. The feud arose after Bush’s comments at a Southern Baptist Convention suggested that women’s health issues were overfunded. “The argument against this is, well, women’s health issues are going to be…
This Little Underground: My Morning Jacket, Mini Mansions (Hard Rock Live)
Like Wilco in many ways, My Morning Jacket (Aug. 4, Hard Rock Live) has more or less gotten to the point of transcending genre. They’ve pulled that difficult act of not just establishing their own domain with its own rules but getting people to buy into it and follow the ride, wherever it may go. It’s a rare, impressive and…
Ted Nugent signs up to get one of Florida’s first bear-hunting licenses
The Orlando Sentinel reports that 1970s rocker turned political noisemaker Ted Nugent, who lives in Texas, has signed up to be one of the first people in decades to legally shoot bears in Florida. In an interview with the Sentinel that we won’t elaborate upon too much, his reason for jumping on the bear-hunting bandwagon…
Orlando dominatrix sued for allegedly exploiting elderly client
One day these strange Florida headlines will stop, but unfortunately, today is not that day. In a lawsuit filed in Seminole County, Orlando dominatrix Goddess Jude is being sued by a 68-year-old “financial slavery” client for alleged elderly exploitation during their four-year relationship, WKMG Local 6 reports. Alex Abrams accuses Goddess Jude, whose real name is…
Florida’s Fish and Wildlife Commission says it’s time to give up on expanding Florida panther population
While you were watching Facebook posts about Cecil the Lion recently, another big cat was also coming under fire stateside: The Florida panther. The panther, which is Florida’s state animal, is critically endangered, with only about 100-180 breeding animals living in the wild right now. But according to the FWC’s Liesa Priddy, they’re becoming a nuisance…
Florida vacation home of dentist who shot Cecil the Lion vandalized with spray paint and pigs feet
On Monday morning, August 3, vandals defaced the vacation home of Minnesota resident Dr. Walter Palmer, the now infamous dentist who shot Cecil the Lion. As first reported by Fox 4, pictures taken outside of the dentist’s home on Marco Island, Florida, show the words “Lion killer” spray painted on his garage door, his driveway…
Authorities claim triple murder in Florida may have ties to ‘witchcraft’ and blue moon
A triple murder involving a Pensacola woman and her three adult sons is being investigated as a “ritualistic killing,” with ties to the recent blue moon. The body of 77 year-old Pensacola resident Voncile Smith was found on July 31, alongside her two sons John William Smith, 49 and Richard Thomas Smith, 47. According to…
Free Will Astrology (8/5/15)
ARIES (March 21-April 19) Charles de Lint is a novelist whose stories are influenced by folklore, myths and science fiction. In his book Yarrow, a wizardly character named Toby is skilled at conjuring. He can make small objects appear and disappear. But Toby yearns for more. “I want to be magic,” he says. “I want…
Gimme Shelter (8/5/15)
Orange County Animal Services has an 87-pound pup who’s ready to give you unconditional love. Meet Luna! She is a 3-year-old energetic girl who loves to run around the play yard. Luna also really enjoys eating treats and she knows basic commands. She gets along well with other dogs and enjoys playing with them too!…
FWC issues bear-hunting permits despite lawsuit
Weeks after the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission voted almost unanimously to revive the practice of hunting black bears in the state, a coalition of environmental groups has filed suit to block the hunt. Seminole County’s Speak Up Wekiva was joined by the Sierra Club, the League of Women Voters of Florida, the Center for…
Do-it-yourselfers indulge in Korea House’s all-you-can-eat meatfest
Smelling like the restaurant in which I just dined is a peeve I haven’t been able to shake. Those once-seductive scents that originated from, say, a tandoor or teppan tend to stifle as they radiate off my clothes and permeate every inch of my car, so the drive home typically means windows down, no matter…
3 new brunches, 4 restaurant revamps and 9 new eateries in this week’s foodie news
The latest restos to jump on the brunch bandwagon: Osprey Tavern, Sunday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m.; Two Chefs Seafood & Oyster Bar, Sunday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m.; Slate, Saturday-Sunday 10:30 a.m.-3 p.m. There’s been a fair bit of construction in the former site of Elliott’s Public House. The renovated space will soon be home to Nova Restaurant, operated by…
Our Remixed Pimm’s Cup is a civilized summertime quaff
It’s the quintessential, oh-so-civilized summer quaff: a refreshing Pimm’s Cup, aka the official drink of Wimbledon. But though it hails from London and is the hallmark of British summertime, anyone stuck in hot, humid weather can appreciate a Pimm’s Cup. The spicy-sweet auburn liqueur was invented, like so many liqueurs and bitters beloved by today’s…
Reunited Blackalicious is ready to show and prove
It’s been a minute since the Gift of Gab’s been on the spot and he couldn’t be happier to be out amongst the people. A decade after Blackalicious’ last album, The Craft, they’ve reunited for their upcoming fourth full-length, Imani. There’s another reason for Gab’s upbeat mood – his kidneys failed three years ago, requiring…
Picks This Week: Appleseed Cast, Alice in Chains and more
Transcendental Telecom Following their April release (Escape From Shred City EP), local slacker-rockers Transcendental Telecom mustered the motivation for a Florida mini-tour that kicks off at Will’s Pub. 9 p.m. Wednesday, Aug. 5, at Will’s Pub, $5 Face to Face Similar to what Alkaline Trio recently did with their limited four-show, career-spanning club stands, California…
The S.A.F.E.! Words! Poetry! Slam! is a lot of things, but safe isn’t one of them
It’s clichéd but true: We don’t appreciate what we’ve got until it’s gone. Like many locals, I’ll sometimes lament how lame Orlando can be, complaining about things that people in other cities envy. For example, I may whine about the many hours I spend each week doing research at local attractions, fighting through hordes of…
Woody Allen’s ‘Irrational Man’ wastes a good premise
2 out of 5 stars Professor Abe Lucas’ dad died when he was 12. His mother killed herself by drinking bleach. His best friend died in Iraq. His wife left him for a friend. And he gets drunk every afternoon. In the wonderful world of Woody Allen, this means that Abe is a college philosophy…
Opening this week: Fantastic Four, The Gift, Ricki and the Flash and The Wolfpack
Fantastic Four Rumors persist that Marvel Comics canceled its Fantastic Four title to avoid association with Fox’s cinematic reboot of the characters. If that’s true, it sends quite the message, because killing off your beloved progeny to make a moral statement is the stuff of classic tragedy, like Medea or Escape From the Planet of…
Aardman’s Shaun the Sheep TV series is more cute than clever
I love Aardman’s lovingly handcrafted stop-motion claytoons, but I never had any interest in their TV series Shaun the Sheep, spun out of the Wallace & Gromit short “A Close Shave.” I see now that I wasn’t really missing anything. The first big-screen outing for Shaun and his barnyard friends is charming in that gloriously detailed Aardman…
‘What Else Is in the Teaches of Peaches’ serves up slices of life from a transgressive master
For electroclash and performance artist Peaches, the body and all its politics – gender, orientation, sexual identity – are there to be toyed with. Playing rough with taboo, a Peaches show cuts through the doublespeak of sexual politics and gets into something real and vividly fun. For her Seussian costumes, raving fanbase and fearless attitude…
Time Waste Management christens new space with art show and pop-up shop
Last Saturday, in the upstairs rooms once known as Sister Space, the Time Waste Management Art Collective christened their A Place Gallery with an installation by Vanessa Andrade and Antonio Gonzalez (“Ready to Ship A/W ’15”) and a Hex Haus pop-up shop. The one-night-only party was the beginning of something new, but also the culmination…
This Little Underground: Riding Easy Records gets heavy in Florida
In the indie ranks where music labels operate closer to the heart and often specialize, label showcases are high-value experiences for good labels – Sargent House and local weirdo label Illuminated Paths being recent testaments to that. The latest jackpot was the touring one for West Coast imprint Riding Easy Records (July 24, Backbooth). In…
Savage Love (8/5/15)
Does a person who acts loving only when high on weed really love you? My live-in boyfriend of three years acts sweet, loving and caring when he’s high, but when the weed runs out, he’s mean, angry, hurtful and horrible to be around. I’ve asked him when he’s stoned to still act like a loving…
