Apr 29 – May 5, 2015

Apr 29 - May 5, 2015 / Vol. 31 / No. 19

Brian Feldman returns to town for a special Mother’s Day hug

Fact: Mother’s Day is the most popular day of the year to eat in a restaurant. Fact: You are broke. Fact: Moms are suckers for goopy Hallmark card-type sentiment, while you prefer a more rigorous, inventive expression of universal feelings. Performance artist Brian Feldman’s 24 Minute Embrace may just meet all of your requirements for…

The dream of the ’90s is alive in Will’s Pub when Five Eight hits town

Mike Mantione should be any emo lover’s spirit animal. The wavering sensitivity embedded in the Five Eight vocalist’s dogged musical self-examination isn’t wimpy or saturated by sentimentality the way pretenders in the genre often are – it’s authentic emotion that tricks you with uplifting pop melodies while the singer lilts and even whistles his way…

Local notables share their favorite places to grab a bite

Emily Ellyn, the Retro Rad Chef and Food Network television personality: “This is an exciting time in Orlando, do I really have to pick my favorites?? Pig Floyd and Black Bean Deli are top picks for house-made fare, served fast-casual. RusTeak in College Park: Order the mussels. Great wine too! The Rusty Spoon is great…

BITE 2015: The ultimate guide to Orlando’s food scene

Editor’s Letter: That First Bite I still remember the first time I ate something in a restaurant that made me understand that food could be more than just fuel. It was a vegetable plate at Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feniger’s eclectic Los Angeles restaurant CITY — a sort of thali sampler comprising regional Thai,…

Happy Wednesday! Here’s what a sloth sounds like!

Have you ever wondered what a sloth sounds like? Probably some sort of sputtery “MWWAAAAAMMM” noise, right? Incorrect! In fact, it’s actually the cutest damn thing you’ve ever heard. Don’t believe me? Check it: Right?! You’re welcome. I want twelve of them. Related Stories

American Ninja Warrior will be filming in Orlando this weekend

This upcoming Sunday and Monday (May 10-11) the streets of the New York set at Universal Orlando will look more like an extreme ropes course than a city street, as American Ninja Warrior will be stopping for two days of filming. The taping will take place overnight while the park is closed. All three hosts,…

What’s that noise? Shrieks echo through Winter Park as city considers changing historic preservation standards

You may have heard shrieking sounds coming from Winter Park recently as the city considers changes to its historic preservation standards. The city’s Historic Preservation Board is considering recommendations to make demolition more difficult, which would make designating/preserving a new historic district much easier. The proposed changes to the ordinance will be discussed at two public…

‘Welcome to Me’ opens this week at Enzian Theater

Kristin Wiig star vehicle disappoints 2 out of 5 stars Kristen Wiig’s colossal comedic break, Welcome to Me, is her chance to show whether she can carry a star-studded film virtually by herself and whether her nice turn in The Skeleton Twins was a fluke or a sign of better things to come. Regrettably, she…

Humor writer Dave Barry explains why Florida is so weird

Dave Barry, 20 year veteran in humor writing and former columnist for the Miami Herald recently chatted with Cracked editors Jack O’Brien and Soren Bowie for a conversation about Barry’s new book, ‘Live Right And Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster),’ his weekly column and what exactly makes his home state of Florida so strange. The…

Today only you can adopt a $5 cat for ‘Cinco de Meow’

In celebration of Cinco de Mayo and because there are too many cats that need ‘forever homes,’ all day today at Orange County Animal Services, cat adoptions are only $5! That’s right, $5 cats!  “Our shelter sees an increase in the cat population during the summer months as a result of kitten season,” said Dil…

Local baker makes good on Food Network’s spring baking competition

Notice a familiar face on the second episode of Food Network’s Spring Baking Championship? That’s Juliana Evans, graduate of Dr. Phillips High School (circa 1997), blogger, proprietor and head baker of the now-closed food truck and cupcake boutique Graciously Sweet. Host Duff Goldman (of Ace of Cakes fame) is one of the judges and breaks…

Ryan Gosling finally eats his cereal. Rest well, Ryan McHenry

Ryan McHenry, the guy who created the Ryan Gosling Won’t Eat His Cereal memes on Vine, has lost his battle with cancer. You can see all eight of his videos below (don’t worry, it’s short): In his honor, Ryan Gosling posted a Vine last night in which he finally ate his damn cereal.  Related Stories

Happy Tuesday. Here’s a baby white rhino stomping around like a baby goat.

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Nepal orphanage founded by Orlando woman needs help after the earthquakes

Last week, shortly after we learned of the earthquake that devastated Kathmandu, we received a message telling us that Rising Lotus Children’s Village, a Nepal orphanage founded by Orlando resident Tracy Brandt (who also runs the Got Karma? gift shop in Ivanhoe Village), is struggling to stay afloat after the disaster seriously damaged their buildings. On…

Disney unveils new line of ‘May the 4th Be With You’ gear

Today is “Star Wars Day,” because it’s May 4th and people love to say the phrase, “May the fourth be with you.” So, in lieu of the the fan-proclaimed holiday and its new ownership of the Star Wars franchise, the Disney merchandising squad have released a brand new line of Star Wars shirts, pins, stuffed animals,…

Santiago’s Bodega ups Altamonte’s brunch game this summer

Santiago’s Bodega has a wonderful menu they serve all day and even late night – our food critic has extremely kind words about their short ribs, gazpacho and startlingly outstanding ceviche – but locals who know cannot stop gushing over their fantastical brunch spread that led us to dub them among our favorite boozy brunches in Orlando and…

5 spots for authentic Mexican tacos just in time for Cinco de Mayo

You’ll need some grub in your stomach to anchor all those “Cinco de Drinko” Coronas tomorrow. Here’s our list of five superlative tacos at local restaurants: 1. Hongos tacos, Rocco’s Tacos & Tequila Wild mushrooms are topped with manchego cheese, crema and plenty of sauteed garlic. Rocco’s makes their corn tortillas fresh to order, too,…

Happy Monday. Here are some kittens learning to be DJs.

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Orlando stands with Baltimore: #BlackSpring action scheduled for May 2

On Saturday, May 2, Orlando joins communities across the nation in holding a #BlackSpring action. The event, part of a national effort to show solidarity with protestors in Baltimore and other cities where protestors have taken to the streets to demand reform of the criminal justice system after the recent death of Freddie Gray, will…

Maddy’s Craft & Cru now scheduled to open in downtown Orlando in July

Chef/owner Jason Schofield will open Maddey’s Craft & Cru in a yet-to-be-disclosed location in downtown Orlando. Maddey’s was supposed to move into the now-closed Diva’s Dinner Theatre in Mills 50, but the deal fell through. Maddey’s will seat 150 and the site will also feature a separate cocktail lounge called “Brix” with a capacity of…

Winter Park is tired of people smoking on patios

In a huge push against smoke being blown in people’s faces, Winter Park is looking to snuff out cigarettes from its restaurants, including the patios. Breathe Free Winter Park held a press conference April 17 to persuade local restaurant owners to join their voluntary smoke-free movement.  Founder of 4 Rivers Smokehouse and the Coop John…

This Little Underground: Tyler, the Creator (Plaza Live)

These Odd Future cats are an intriguing lot. For both better and worse, this crew is so emblematic of the new reality. Like the internet (the monolith that rules modern life, not the Odd Future spinoff group the Internet), these art-punk rappers are a hive of frenzy. The intensity of their left-field creativity is a…

Letters to a Satanist: How should Satanists deal with mandatory abortion waiting periods?

This past Summer, following the Supreme Court’s controversial Hobby Lobby ruling, The Satanic Temple (TST) drew up a document of religious exemption to be used against superfluous anti-abortion legislation. The exemption targeted “informed consent” laws requiring that women seeking abortions should be subjected to compulsory state-mandated “informational” materials that are often scientifically unsound. In fact,…

Happy Friday. Please enjoy this video of an office run by bunnies.

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Good boy! Dog alerts Florida family to 7ft gator at front door

This is why dogs are considered “man’s best friend.” Tuesday night, Sarasota residents, Megan and Daniel Benton were awoken by their family pup, who was doing it’s designated dog duties by going completely nuts on a 7ft gator hanging out on their front porch.  According to the CNN report:  “Manatee County Sheriffs office were called and tried…

Happy Thursday. Please enjoy this video of a French bulldog dressed as a lion learning to ring a bell

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Harry Potter fans: You can buy this Hogwarts quilt on etsy.com

Etsy store Pieces by Polly is selling made-to-order Harry Potter quilts that represent the four houses of Hogwarts. The quilts, which Polly says take 8-10 weeks to make, are selling for $216 and up. Right now, she’s only making them in baby square and child/throw sizes, but she says you can message her to find…

Florida legislature passes 24 hour wait period for abortions

Quote of the week:.“No woman wakes up and says, ‘Hey, I’ll have an abortion tomorrow.’ They’ve thought about it. Stop chipping away at our rights and throwing these stumbling blocks in front of these women who have decided to do what they want to do.” – Sen. Arthenia Joyner, D-Tampa Dear little ladies of Florida, We’ve…

UPDATE: (Show postponed) Earl Sweatshirt is hip-hop’s new hope with ‘I Don’t Like Shit, I Don’t Go Outside’

UPDATE: Earl Sweatshirt is sick, so this show has been postponed until Thursday, September 3, according to Venue 578’s Facebook. I Don’t Like Shit, I Don’t Go Outside: Earl Sweatshirt’s sophomore album title seems to perfectly embody the 21-year-old’s “fuck everyone and fuck everything” current state of mind. His new 10-track project is almost entirely…

Picks This Week: Neutral Milk Hotel, Crizzly and more

Gabriel Garzon-Montano “We had to do things the right way,” Garzon-Montano says. “He would A/B my drum takes with John Bonham’s, and he would A/B my vocals with Jeff Buckley, and he was like, ‘This is what you like, right?’ And I said, ‘Yeah.’ He said, ‘This is you; this is Jeff.’ ‘This is you;…

Boheme Restaurant puts the “art” back in culinary arts

I’ve been meaning to pay a visit to the Boheme Restaurant inside the Grand Bohemian Hotel ever since Rene Nyfeler took over director of food and beverage duties and Laurent Hollaender stepped into the role of executive chef. That was more than three years ago, and the subsequent buzz being generated about the food and…

Selections: Our picks for the best events for the week of April 29-May 5

If you’re still singing singles from Jagged Little Pill into your hairbrush on occasional mornings (or self-pitying/self-indulgent evenings, not judging), you should head (over feet) to Hard Rock Live for Alanis Morissette, who comes to town for an acoustic evening this week. (Be warned: Tickets are kinda pricey.) Morissette took a break from music and…

Savage Love (4-29-15)

My partner is 31 years older than I am. I know the math: He’ll be 60 when I’m 29. But that isn’t the problem. The issue is he’s been a lifelong bachelor and never been monogamous. He’s fucked hundreds of women and is close friends with a lot of his former fuck buddies. Because of…


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