The scene of the sticky and caffeinated tragedy. Photo by Kate Nicole.
A harrowing scene unfolded last night in Brevard County when a Red Bull delivery truck accidentally sideswiped a disabled semi on an I-95 shoulder near mile marker 195. Luckily no one was injured, but the collision did unleash approximately 2,875 gallons of everyone’s favorite glowing vodka mix-in upon the unsuspecting stretch of highway.
“In 20 years I have seen a lot of stuff spilled on the interstate. This is a first for me — energy drinks,” Florida Highway Patrol Sgt. Kim Montes remarked to the Orlando Sentinel, throwing in the jab: “Usually [what I see] is some type of food.”
43-year-old Jesus Fernandez, the driver of the Red Bull truck, was cited for failure to stay in a single lane. It is unknown how many small woodland creatures imbibed puddles of the drink and then chewed their own chins off.
This article appears in Jul 9-15, 2014.