McCain camp: Our veep is a MILF!
Hahahaha. The next time somebody tries to tell you about how sexist the Democrats and media are towards Sarah Palin, direct them to www.voteforthemilf.com. Then see where that takes you. Check it on Youtube: MILF, in case you’re unaware, stands for “Mother I’d Like to Fuck.”
Voting for McCain? You’re in good company
These Kentuckians will say no way, no how, to Sen. Hussein, who’s an Ay-rab and we’re at war with Ay-rabs! And he’s on the side of the naggers! WAKE UP AMERICA!
KITCHEN ACCOMPLISHED
Breads, cheeses and perfect pastries make it worth the stroll to Strollo’s
FALL GUIDE 2008
Air slightly drier than a damp washcloth? Temps hovering below 90? People venturing outside to do stuff? It’s called fall, and it’s when things get good around here. The arts come alive. Parties and festivals suddenly appear on the planner. Bands come to town. It all happens in a rush, but we’re here to help…
FALL GUIDE 2008 – MUSIC
A year ago, who could’ve guessed that the UCF Arena, that 10,000-seat monstrosity on the college campus, would bring our city closer to being more like Tampa? Do you realize how painful it is for the Who and Radiohead to snub us for Tampa? Bay jealousy isn’t pretty, but this new arena is; the sight…
FALL GUIDE 2008 – FILM
Hands down, the best-known film event in town is the annual Florida Film Festival. Three years ago, the Orlando Film Festival made its debut and claimed fall as its season, coming at the heels of the then-fledgling Global Peace Film Festival, which finished its sixth annual screenings last week. All three festivals have strong identities.…
FALL GUIDE 2008 – EVENTS
What does it cost to mingle with the dead, become one with the spirits and let go of orgiastic tendencies? A lot. “A Don Post `mask` will go for 10 or 15 grand,” says Neil Goldsmith, an Orlando hobbyist latex-smith who runs the website Latex Mask Central (www.latexmaskcentral.com). And for the record, he’s not talking…
FALL GUIDE 2008 – VISUAL ARTS
Homage to the Square: A less exciting title would be hard to come up with. For a generation marinated in Andy Warhol’s anti-cerebral celeb- reality and Jackson Pollock’s ejaculatory howls, Josef Albers’ austere meditations on geometry and color are all too easy to pass by. But as in most Minimalism (small-M minimalism as well), the…
BLISTER
“Can you hold back my pubes?” Taylor conjures a nauseous cheerleader’s scrunchy whilst marveling at his follicular fantastic. “I’ve got to pee.” We’ve convened in the hallowed urinal halls of Revolution’s big gay men’s room not so much out of physical necessity — obstructive harpy notwithstanding — as out of a higher need to establish…
FALL GUIDE 2008 – PERFORMING ARTS
Puppets were big last year. The efforts of talented enthusiasts and puppetry professionals aligned with the Orlando Puppet Festival (produced by Heather Henson’s IBEX Puppetry) to stir a popular movement that’s still waxing. Didn’t know about the puppet phenomena? You probably will after the fourth annual Orlando Puppet Festival (Nov. 7-9 at Mad Cow Theatre;…
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
ARIES (March 21-April 19) Every day for 44 years, the German writer Karl Wilhelm von Humboldt composed a poem for his wife, the lively and brilliant Karoline von Dachroden. I ask you to briefly imitate his outpouring. Every day for the next two weeks, please find it in your wild heart to make a sublime,…
FALL GUIDE 2008 – CIVICS
You should vote; it’s kind of ; important. But that’s not the point to be made here. Rather, voting on Nov. 4 is the least you can do in these pivotal times. (The registration deadline is Oct. 6, so if you’re unsure of your voting status call your local supervisor of elections office; if you’re…
SAVAGE LOVE
My boyfriend and I are in ; our mid-20s, love each other, and have been living together for two years. We have good sex once a week. I have a low libido, and I always have. But my sweet boyfriend needs more than once a week. Every once in a while, he brings up the…
FALL GUIDE 2008 – SPORTS AND RECREATION
Fall is the time when Orlandoans’ thoughts turn to getting outside without basting in their own sweat or being drowned in an afternoon deluge. In other words, it’s an excellent time to park the car and ride a bike. But if you’ve pedaled around O-Town, you know that we do not boast a “true” bicycle…
THIS LITTLE UNDERGROUND
The weather may not be there yet, but at least it’s already autumn on the awakened concert calendars. Time to get fat on that live action, music heads. It kicked off this week with a parade of heavyweight imports. The beat Japan Night was an outstanding event (Sept. 17, the Social). Apart from the friendly…
RAKE IT IN
The fall movie season has been up for grabs since Warner Bros. abruptly postponed Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince from November to next summer, worried that its 2009 box office would otherwise look anemic compared to the combined take of a Batman/Rowling bonanza. (Makes sense to us; it’s the reason we resolve to never…
FIRST SHOT
We’re huge fans of the 2004 comedy Mean Girls, so we were as alarmed as anybody to hear that Paramount is developing a straight-to-DVD sequel to Tina Fey’s exposé of high-school demagoguery. No plot or production details have been offered, save the studio’s promise that it’s “reaching out” to the original creative team. Reaching out?…
LIVE ACTIVE CULTURES
After 19 years of entertainment, late-night Saturday will be the last call for Disney’s Pleasure Island nightclub complex. Before the island is lost — to be replaced by outsourced “dining and shopping experiences” — I want to raise my final pricey frozen drink to what was a lifeline for working actors in this town. Pleasure…
POLICE BEAT
Sept. 9 (2008-389350) 12:46 p.m.: A man was carrying around 52 grams of herb when the cops pulled over the car he was in. Naturally, he went to jail. Speaking of pot, this case offers a nice segue to a conversation I’d been hoping to have for a while. For the last couple of weeks,…
HAPPYTOWN
Want to send your kid to ; school with a healthy salad you picked up from a deli? Maybe a brownie from your neighbor’s bake sale? Too bad, hippie. Your “food” has no place in the public schools. ; According to guidelines Orange County Public Schools put out Sept. 16, you can’t send “foods not…
COMMENTS
Good at the core I was informed of an article written in the Orlando Weekly and how inaccurate it was `”Westside story,” Sept. 18` and I must say that I’m not sure what everyone’s upset about. I personally have been creating a “scene” of my own which incorporates, unifies and impresses unification among the subgenres…
SPINNING THE BOTTLE AGAIN
It’s been over a decade and a half since the heyday of 120 Minutes, when the cultish MTV program snatched college rock from low-band stations and fed it to the disaffected masses. Night after night, curly-mopped Kennedy and coffee-shop-casual Lewis Largent presented a boon of indie-video goodness and live performances, great and then-unknown bands, and…
SMOOCHIN’ THE SHREW
Full disclosure: I performed in Kiss Me, Kate some years ago in my high school’s senior-year musical. I didn’t get the lead. Drat! But our director gave me lots of chorus work. Years later, I performed the show’s principal tunes in several Cole Porter revues. So the melodies have been spinning around my head for…
Shockingly, racism and idiocy are on display at the Sentinel
Well, more specifically, on their web site. Actually, on their comment boards, where the morons and racists and neoconfederates and inbreds always come out to play. Last night, as you may have heard, the state of Florida executed a man who had killed two children (we were supposed to be there, but got kind of…
my ass been murdered!
So the makers of the aforementioned â??Ass Murdering Hot Sauceâ?� and â??Chokâ??On Dis Blazinâ?? Glazeâ?� contacted me yesterday after yesterdayâ??s snark-filled post on their products. Todd Ross e-mailed me offering samples of the sauce for me to try, but promised â??I will leave you alone as requestedâ?� if I wasnâ??t interested. (Points for playing along!)…
