As Far As I’m Concerned, Kathy Griffin Owes Jesus $90,000
Jokers VS. Jesus Here’s a nice story to add to our hypocritical fundamentalist stew today. You’ve all heard by now that Kathy Griffin (that partially funny comedienne from the D-list) had a bit of fun at the expense of Jesus. Sports stars, actors and accident survivors have no qualms about thanking Jesus for their success.…
Roger Corman Collection
Roger Corman Collection Studio: MGM WorkNameSort: Roger Corman Collection Roger Corman will always be known more for funding the careers of superstar directors than for crafting his own work: Martin Scorsese, Jonathan Demme, Francis Ford Coppola and others all studied under his tutelage. As producer/executive producer, Corman is responsible for a staggering 380 films, dating…
Severance
Severance Studio: Magnolia WorkNameSort: Severance The global war on terror serves as the peripheral pretext for Severance, about a group of seven bickering employees for a defense contractor who are sent into an unnamed forest in Eastern Europe for a morale-boosting company retreat. It’s here they find a group of motiveless masked marauders planning to…
The Graduate: 40th Anniversary Collector’s Edition
The Graduate: 40th Anniversary Collector’s Edition Studio: MGM WorkNameSort: Graduate: 40th Anniversary Collector’s Edition, The The Graduate was utterly of its time in 1967, but it was also ahead of it in terms of its modernism. The underrated Mike Nichols brought visionary style to the movie, taking chances most directors wouldn’t fathom today. Take that…
Oh! My Troubled Mind
Oh! My Troubled Mind Label: self-released Length: LP Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Oh! My Troubled Mind Just when you thought roots-rock was spent, along comes this local musician with an invigorating album that sweats with steely swagger and big soul. Some now know him as the guitarist for Thomas Wynn & the Believers, but…
Strawberry Jam
Strawberry Jam Label: Domino Length: LP Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Strawberry Jam With its geographically scattered members residing in New York, Portugal and Washington, D.C., it was only a matter of time before this Collective’s call-of-the-wild twee sprees began to reflect an acute case of separation anxiety, not to mention the creeping suspicion that…
Proof of Youth
Proof of Youth Label: Sub Pop Length: LP Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Proof of Youth From bouts of ringing, clamorous guitars to ’60s-pop drum-builds and cheerleading, the Go! Team brings smart, party-rockin’ chops to the table. To ceaselessly project youthful sensibility was an obvious directive when the Brighton, England, six-piece dropped 2005’s Thunder, Lightning,…
Bee Gees Greatest
Bee Gees Greatest Label: Reprise/Rhino Length: LP Rated: NONE Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Bee Gees Greatest Bee Gees fans frequently split into two camps. Not surprising, since the disco-fied group that emerged in the 1970s bore little resemblance to the baroque popsters of the previous decade. Granted, anyone who lived through the ’70s, when…
Spirit If …
Spirit If … Label: Arts & Crafts Length: LP Rated: NONE Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Spirit If … Ever know anyone too beautiful? Broken Social Scene co-founder Kevin Drew counts “You are too beautiful to fuck” as one of his woes on Spirit If … over rolling guitars and woodwinds, a dense instrumental display…
COOL JERK
Jumped-up Jamaican staples and seriously spiced island fare in Apopka
PUTTING THE KITSCH IN KITCHEN
The smell of bacon wafts out the front door and hits your nose if you’re within a 100-foot radius of Chubby’s Family Restaurant in east Orlando. It’s the kind of place you don’t mind eating alone in; there’s always a friend willing to sit down across the booth from you and take your order. Almost…
Eastern Promises
Eastern Promises Studio: Focus Features Rated: R Cast: Viggo Mortensen, Naomi Watts Director: David Cronenberg WorkNameSort: Eastern Promises Our Rating: 4.00 Eastern Promises proves two things: First, director David Cronenberg knows how to end a movie better than just about anybody else in the business and, second, Viggo Mortensen is the greatest American actor that…
The Hunting Party
The Hunting Party Studio: MGM Rated: PG Cast: Richard Gere, Terence Howard Director: Richard Shepard WorkNameSort: Hunting Party, The Our Rating: 2.00 The Hunting Party opens with the cheeky statement that only the most ridiculous events depicted in the film are true. It closes with slyer self-acknowledgment of artistic license, pointing out the facts it…
In the Valley of Elah
In the Valley of Elah Studio: Warner Independent Pictures Rated: R Cast: Tommy Lee Jones, Charlize Theron Director: Paul Haggis WorkNameSort: In the Valley of Elah Our Rating: 4.00 In the Valley of Elah is the first great movie about the stateside aftermath of the Iraq War and should be considered a companion piece to…
Sydney White
Sydney White Studio: Universal Rated: PG-13 Cast: Amanda Bynes, Matthew Long Director: Joe Nussbaum WorkNameSort: Sydney White Our Rating: 1.50 Amanda Bynes stars as a salt-of-the-earth high-school graduate who enters college with dreams of joining her late mother’s sorority, which is now overrun by a totalitarian witch and her cabal of elitist buxom blondes. So…
CULTURE TO GO
Old story, still funny The Comedy of Errors Through Oct. 7 Orlando Shakespeare Theater $20-$37; 407-447-1700, ext. 1 www.orlandoshakes.org The new television season is upon us, and with it comes the latest crop of sitcoms. If you like your contrived plots and risqué puns with a little more panache, tune in to Orlando Shakespeare Theater’s…
BUST TOWN, PART II
Interesting timing on the downtown venues deal. On July 27, mayors Buddy Dyer and Richard Crotty provided the taxpayers of Orange County with a stylish albatross to wear around their necks for the next 30 years in the form of $1.8 billion worth of public spending on three downtown venues. One month later, on Aug.…
COUNCIL WATCH
A waft of chewing gum, cologne and anticipation washed over the council chambers at the Sept. 17 gathering of civic concerns as the presence of children suggested that something sickeningly sweet was afoot. “It’s like the fucking Emmys in here,” I nudged Mark Schlueb’s hot reporter arm. “And I’m going to get snubbed again this…
HAPPYTOWN
How much would you pay to spend the night with Helen Thomas? If you’re like us – borderline necrophiliac – the answer is $50, which is exactly how much you’ll have to shell out to see the not-dead-yet queen of the White House press corps when she comes to the Orlando Public Library Sept. 21.…
MAIL SACK
Not censored This is in regard to the cover story “Censored” `Sept. 13`. The third item, AFRICOM, was covered rather extensively by Thomas P.M. Barnett for Esquire magazine in its July 2007 issue in an article titled “The Americans Have Landed.” Esquire may not be considered news media, but it is well-known media and did…
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
Very few people will ever experience a successful show: that blistering rush from the validating crowd, fingers still burning from the strings and ears ringing until they bleed into the night’s last dream in the form of an alarm clock. Fewer still will find themselves waking to realize that not only was last night a…
BEYOND THE BOX
In the vacant expanse of Church Street Station, a wheelchair-bound veteran who refers to himself as “Sarge” bakes in the sun on the sidewalk, a plastic cup clutched in front of him. “I just do this for food. I only get $10 in food stamps,” Sarge says. “I served this country!” By being on the…
GETTING YOUR FILL
Ever walked into your favorite Japanese restaurant and been torn on what to have for lunch – California roll or katsu, tempura or teriyaki? You might have ordered the bento box, a daily special traditionally featuring a variety of dishes in a neat little lunch box. National CineMedia is trying to lure the otaku to…
BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID
If WFTV Channel 9 is to be believed, Sept. 4 was a very dangerous day to be a Central Floridian. A couple was charged in a stabbing incident in a Sanford counseling center. Another man was arrested for a shooting that occurred in broad daylight in the middle of a busy intersection. A Volusia County…
PUTTING THE KITSCH IN KITCHEN
The smell of bacon wafts out the front door and hits your nose if you’re within a 100-foot radius of Chubby’s Family Restaurant in east Orlando. It’s the kind of place you don’t mind eating alone in; there’s always a friend willing to sit down across the booth from you and take your order. Almost…
WHAT WOULD KEROUAC DO?
My friends and I used to joke that Jack Kerouac might get evicted from a residency at the Kerouac House. He became an embittered reactionary his last few years on the planet. His drunken belligerence is well-documented and probably wouldn’t be welcomed in most homes. Fifty years ago Kerouac published On the Road while living…
I LOVE TELEVISION
If you’re wondering why I’m walking around like I’ve got a solid-gold vibrating iPhone in my bottom – it’s because THE NEW FALL SHOWS ARE HERE! Yaaaaay! But even though I’m happier than a fat kid eating an ice-cream-covered chili dog, it’s important to remember one thing: While there are a poop-ton of good shows…
POLICE BEAT
SEPT. 6, 10:49 A.M.: Why are criminals in Orlando so attracted to schools? At some point the night before, a suspect or suspects raided the vacant halls of Dr. Phillips High School, 6500 Turkey Lake Road, heading straight for the “100 and 200 area hallways,” police reports state. What desirables awaited there? Not notebook-loaded lockers,…
BLISTER
What’s the matter here? Well, for starters in the squint-to-stop-sleeping automotive process that is the never-ending Interstate 75 trek to Atlanta, I’m burn-throating booze howls to the tune of 10,000 Maniacs’ proletarian sanctimony, that’s what. “Who knew that Natalie Merchant could jack us up?” my friend Amy pipes over from the passenger side. “She sucks.…
SAVAGE LOVE
I’ve been happily married for eight years. But I have a serious problem: I’m addicted to pornography. I keep a stash of porn in a drawer at work. Three times a week, my lunch hour is spent jerking off in the handicapped stall of a public restroom. And that’s only the beginning. I have a…
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
ARIES (March 21-April 19) In the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, mamihlapinatapai is a word meaning “gazing into each other’s eyes, each hoping the other will initiate something both desire but which neither one wants to start.” You’ve been experiencing a version of this poignant deadlock lately. It may have made sense for you…
THIS LITTLE UNDERGROUND
Ohhh, you lucky dog, you. There’s some news that you’ve been waiting on for over a year and I’m about to drop that shit on you like a pigeon. Drum roll, please … ladies and gentlemen (yeah, right), I’m schoolgirl-excited to announce that Will’s Pub has signed a lease on a new space and is…
Human boy killed by dinosaur.
I’ve always heard that if you get bitten by a kimodo dragon, you’ll die because his saliva is so infested with bacteria that it might as well be poison. But this is the first time I’ve ever heard of it actually happening…. Link to original piece, via the Fortean Times. “Mansur, an eight- (or nine-)…
