Sep 15-21, 2004

Sep 15-21, 2004 / Vol. 20 / No. 37

Movie: Cellular

Cellular Length: 1 hour, 35 minutes Studio: New Line Cinema Website: http://www.cellularthemovie.com/ Release Date: 2004-09-10 Cast: Chris Evans, Kim Basinger, Jason Statham, Jessica Biel, Noah Emmerich Director: David R. Ellis Screenwriter: Larry Cohen, Christopher Morgan WorkNameSort: Cellular Our Rating: 2.50 It’s a red-letter day when you can say an American studio release is “not awful”…

Movie: Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Resident Evil: Apocalypse Length: 1 hour, 34 minutes Studio: Screen Gems Website: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/residentevilapocalypse/ Release Date: 2004-09-10 Cast: Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Mike Epps, Oded Fehr, Jared Harris Director: Alexander Witt Screenwriter: Paul W.S. Anderson Music Score: Jeff Danna WorkNameSort: Resident Evil: Apocalypse Our Rating: 2.00 The good news for fans of 2002’s top guilty pleasure,…

Movie: Cellular

Our Rating: 2.50 It’s a red-letter day when you can say an American studio release is “not awful” and not worry about saying three Our Fathers next Sunday. And Cellular – based on a story by Larry Cohen (It’s Alive, God Told Me To) – is 1/3 of a terrific thriller. Math teacher Jessica Martin…

Movie: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Length: 1 hour, 47 minutes Studio: Paramount Pictures Website: http://www.skycaptain.com/ Release Date: 2004-09-17 Cast: Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Bai Ling, Michael Gambon Director: Kerry Conran Screenwriter: Kerry Conran WorkNameSort: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Our Rating: 2.50 The year’s most anticipated cinematic experiment turns…

Movie: Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Our Rating: 2.00 The good news for fans of 2002’s top guilty pleasure, Resident Evil: The zombie dogs and Milla Jovovich are back. The bad news: Director Paul W.S. Anderson has been replaced by first-timer Alexander Witt, whose journeyman effort totally lacks Anderson’s smart-trash poetics and pulp-art visual sense. As zombies overrun Raccoon City, the…

Movie: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Our Rating: 2.50 The year’s most anticipated cinematic experiment turns out to be pretty much what we had feared: A sumptuous but empty exercise in chapter-play reanimation. The retro-futurist environments are all desktop-generated as a high-flying mercenary (Jude Law) and his reporter girlfriend (Gwyneth Paltrow) fight to stop an evil genius who’s threatening the world…

Movie: Cellular

Our Rating: 2.50 It’s a red-letter day when you can say an American studio release is “not awful” and not worry about saying three Our Fathers next Sunday. And Cellular – based on a story by Larry Cohen (It’s Alive, God Told Me To) – is 1/3 of a terrific thriller. Math teacher Jessica Martin…

Movie: Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Our Rating: 2.00 The good news for fans of 2002’s top guilty pleasure, Resident Evil: The zombie dogs and Milla Jovovich are back. The bad news: Director Paul W.S. Anderson has been replaced by first-timer Alexander Witt, whose journeyman effort totally lacks Anderson’s smart-trash poetics and pulp-art visual sense. As zombies overrun Raccoon City, the…

Movie: Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Our Rating: 2.00 The good news for fans of 2002’s top guilty pleasure, Resident Evil: The zombie dogs and Milla Jovovich are back. The bad news: Director Paul W.S. Anderson has been replaced by first-timer Alexander Witt, whose journeyman effort totally lacks Anderson’s smart-trash poetics and pulp-art visual sense. As zombies overrun Raccoon City, the…

Movie: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Our Rating: 2.50 The year’s most anticipated cinematic experiment turns out to be pretty much what we had feared: A sumptuous but empty exercise in chapter-play reanimation. The retro-futurist environments are all desktop-generated as a high-flying mercenary (Jude Law) and his reporter girlfriend (Gwyneth Paltrow) fight to stop an evil genius who’s threatening the world…

Movie: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Our Rating: 2.50 The year’s most anticipated cinematic experiment turns out to be pretty much what we had feared: A sumptuous but empty exercise in chapter-play reanimation. The retro-futurist environments are all desktop-generated as a high-flying mercenary (Jude Law) and his reporter girlfriend (Gwyneth Paltrow) fight to stop an evil genius who’s threatening the world…

DISPOSE OF PROPERLY

Sooner or later, we’re all going to die. Even Democrats and Republicans aren’t divided on this one. But what happens to us after we die is another story altogether. We’re not talking about esoteric interpretations of a soulful afterlife, or the lack thereof, but the nuts and bolts of respectfully disposing of a loved one’s…

HOBBYISTS IN THE HOUSE

Everyone needs a hobby, says New York anesthesiologist James Cottrell: “You need something you can enjoy and embrace.” That’s the message he hopes visitors will assimilate when they share his hobby – collecting art. “As a doctor, I was interested in the beauty of life and not science – what I do every day,” he…

HARANGUE-ING TOUGH

Bob Di Cerbo does not like George W. Bush. In fact, he thinks that the administration of the 43rd president of the United States is an unmitigated disaster. Moreover, he feels that the Bush team won the 2000 election with a one-two punch of vicious character assassination and a shameless manipulation of the truth. He…

DARWIN GOES ELECTRIC

Among the reality-TV series being batted around in London, according to recent reports in the Daily Telegraph and The Independent, is Make Me a Mum, in which a woman reduces a field of men to the two whom she believes will make her the (genetically) best offspring. At that point, producers will inseminate the woman…

SEE YA, SEALS

Compared to the genteel, bend-over-backward-not-to-sound-rude tone that most letters from Orlando city attorneys take, Amy Iennaco’s Aug. 12 letter to David Waronker, president of Orlando Professional Hockey, Inc. – owner of the Orlando Seals – was downright mean. “The City of Orlando has been very disappointed in its experience with the Orlando Seals,” Iennaco wrote.…

“Paper, plastic or burlap?”

CONGRATULATIONS on the purchase of your new SANDBAG! Just by opening your wallet, you’ve put yourself at the intersection of the exciting avenues of sand and bag technology. Sandbags have countless applications; they’re fixtures in everything from the construction industry to the professional theater, where a sandbag dropped from a high catwalk can be counted…

ANYTHING GOES

I approached Tuesday night’s screening of “Tell About the South” with some trepidation. As an unabashed Yankee transplant, I was fearful that the film’s richer insights into my new home’s literary history would prove elusive. Efforts to persuade one of my dyed-in-the-wool Southern pals to tag along as an interpreter proved fruitless. I went alone,…

BUSTING THE BOOB BAN

Athela “Beaner” Frandsen is like many 15-year-old girls – she loves science, computer games and her pet rat, Luna. But just beneath the surface of the quiet-voiced, well-mannered Melbourne teenager exists a passionate women’s rights activist who has been battling the court system since the age of 9. Her struggle began a few weeks before…

AFTERNOON DELIGHT

Lunch spots downtown are as numerous as they are anonymous – not to say that there aren’t a few excellent places for lunching lawyers to eat and a handful of interesting menus present along the Orange Avenue corridor. With the recent opening of the awfully named Crunch Time Cafe (don’t you just picture a menu…

Code Pink and Hurricane Ivan

Though W. can’t be bothered to attend a military funeral, the folks from the local chapter of Code Pink think the ever-escalating death toll in Iraq is something worth noting. Which is why about 30 of them gathered on the steps of Rep. Ric Keller’s office Sept. 9 for a candlelight vigil. Keller wasn’t there,…

BORN TO WASTE

One thing that you’re likely to hear repeatedly about the reissue campaign that Koch has undertaken with The Kinks’ catalogue is this: They’re not the right albums. And to some degree, that criticism is valid, since nobody in their right mind would hold up a record like 1983’s State of Confusion as evidence of the…


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