BEST OF ORLANDO® NOMINATION BALLOT IS OPEN THROUGH MAY 6!

May 25-31, 2005

May 25-31, 2005 / Vol. 21 / No. 21

Movie: The Longest Yard

The Longest Yard Length: 1 hour, 49 minutes Studio: Paramount Pictures Website: http://www.longestyard.com/upgrade.php Release Date: 2005-05-27 Cast: Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds, William Fichtner, James Cromwell Director: Peter Segal Screenwriter: Sheldon Turner WorkNameSort: The Longest Yard Our Rating: 2.00 This remake of the 1974 film The Longest Yard – with Adam Sandler in Burt…

Orlando Weekly Staff

Movie: The Longest Yard

Our Rating: 2.00 This remake of the 1974 film The Longest Yard – with Adam Sandler in Burt Reynolds’ role of a convicted football superstar – follows the film formula du jour: There are lots of sight gags (like the endless exploitation of one prisoner’s big, fat, ripe-as-tripe belly and matching ass crack) and no…

Orlando Weekly Staff

MEX IS MALL RIGHT

The first mall food experience I remember is slurping down an Orange Julius after buying my very first pair of pegged, zipper-on-the-bottom jeans. My obsession with the jeans didn’t last, but I can’t say the same for the fabulous string of selections I discovered thereafter at the mall: bubblegum-flavored popcorn, See’s gourmet lollipops, bourbon chicken…

Orlando Weekly Staff

You read it here second

A much-awaited review of more than 600 columns by Mitch Albom by his home newspaper, the Detroit Free Press, has found no evidence of other cases similar to an April 3 column in which he wrote about events that never occurred at a basketball game. However, the paper found that Albom has used quotes from…

Steve Schneider

DANGLING MODIFIERS

News of the Weird has already reported that some people have a fondness for inserting 3-inch steel hooks in their skin and hanging from pulleys for minutes, or even an hour, at a time. In April, about 100 such aficionados attended a gathering in Providence, R.I., and participants seemed thrilled, according to a Reuters dispatch.…

Chuck Shepherd

JANE AND GOLDIE

My Life So Far By Jane Fonda (Random House, 625 pages) A Lotus Grows in the Mud By Goldie Hawn (Penguin Group, 400 pages)   In today’s celebrity culture of assembly-line hookups and hacked Blackberries, it’s difficult to issue so much as a champagne burp of concern for any workings of real-time human development. In…

Billy Manes

OUR DUMB STATE

Well, we’re halfway through 2005, and Florida has done nothing to shake its reputation as a repository of dim-witted hayseeds, a reputation we rightfully earned during the Bush-Gore recount cycle. If anything, we’re doing our best to make sure everybody knows we are the dumbest state in the union. We could take this opportunity to…

Jeffrey C. Billman

DOUBLE THREAT

Sometimes it’s the simplest acts that convey the most power. Take, for example, this typically rainy March night in Seattle, where an all-ages crowd is packed into Neumo’s – an 800-capacity club in the Capitol Hill section of town – to catch a five-band bill co-headlined by local math-punk heroes These Arms Are Snakes and…

Michael Alan Goldberg

ALIEN AVIARY

Most bands navigate their way through their formative phase by following a tried and true formula: Form the group, write a few songs, play some shows, write some more songs, play some more shows. Then, when enough songs have been amassed, an album is recorded that, more often than not, is a fairly verbatim re-creation…

Jason Ferguson

Happytown

After attending a frisky selection of shows at the opening weekend of the Fringe Festival, we were saddened at the lack of Orlando Weeklys available. We figure that the more potential attendees can read about the Fringe, the better. And frankly our coverage will rock your world, unlike the coverage of some other local media…

Jeffrey C. Billman, Steve Schneider, and Lindy T. Shepherd

SPECIALTY: AL FRESCO

Sitting like an oasis on the north side of Lake Eola, 903 CitySide is all about location. On my first visit, I met a friend in the afternoon, and we enjoyed this outdoor eatery under the canopy of sun umbrellas and aged oak trees. The first enterprise of owners Nick Massoni, Rick Sitzer and Jim…

Adrian J.S. Hale

Happytown

After attending a frisky selection of shows at the opening weekend of the Fringe Festival, we were saddened at the lack of Orlando Weeklys available. We figure that the more potential attendees can read about the Fringe, the better. And frankly our coverage will rock your world, unlike the coverage of some other local media…

Jeffrey C. Billman, Steve Schneider, and Lindy T. Shepherd

ON THE FRINGE

I’ve always been a little bit frightened by the Fringe Festival, in kind of the same way that I’m frightened by pudgy cheerleaders and comic book conventions. The odd, color-coded itinerary reads, to me, like a pricing guide for terror warnings (orange theater? orange theater!), a litany of threats assigned times and ticket values for…

Billy Manes

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