Doin’ it and doin’ it and doin’ it … safely
This came just too late (start innuendo now) for the calendar. There’s a Safe Sex Party at UCF next week. Here’s the press release (emphasis added): VOX at UCFâ??s annual safe sex benefit is a party that educates students about the importance of knowing what youâ??re doing and who youâ??re doing it with when it…
Just passing through
Michelle Williams dazzles as a stranded vagabond
Pig love
Paul Rudd mans up in sweet, low-calorie comedy
Safe haven
Attractive wine bar proffers predictability to suburbanites
Shooting the breeze at Florida Hospital cafe
For decades, the cafeteria at Florida Hospital Orlando has been a secret arsenal for vegetarians, vegans, the healthy-minded and the broke. The operation is wrapped in the traditions of the hospital system’s founding Seventh-day Adventist Church ‘ a diet free of meat and caffeine being one of those traditions ‘ but the cafeteria is loaded…
‘Our Town’ is anytown, anytime
If you think you know Our Town, stop by the Garden Theatre for the latest version of the familiar Thornton Wilder classic. And think again. As playwright Wilder intended, the new Beth Marshall production focuses on the basics. Props in this Grover’s Corner, N.H., are just the essentials: Mismatched chairs are arranged around dining tables;…
Here comes the Sun
President Jimmy Carter warned us this would happen. Thirty years ago he cautioned us to turn down our thermostats, lessen our dependence on foreign oil and fight “the moral equivalent of war.” Then he backed up his rhetoric by creating a cabinet-level Department of Energy, filing legislation for the creation of the Solar Energy Research…
Other people’s money
Outside the Orlando Utilities Commission’s March 10 board meeting, seven placard-waving protesters (and two small children) quietly solicited honks from cars passing through the intersection of Orange Avenue and Anderson Street. “Orange you ready for Clean Energy?” read one; another put “Stop Corporate Greed!” in a red stop sign; and the most impressive portrayed a…
By Republicans, for Republicans
In 2002, Tom Feeney gave himself two things every politician wants: a promotion and job security. As Florida’s House Speaker, he oversaw not only the day-to-day machinations of the legislature, but also the once-a-decade chore of recarving the state’s congressional and legislative boundaries. Since the U.S. Census had given Florida two extra seats in Congress,…
Citrus trove
Here’s another example of turning lemons into lemonade: Karen Carasik and Kim Sumner of Comma Gallery cast about for entries to an invitational citrus show months ago, and ended up turning the enterprise into a three-part marathon. To appreciate the undertaking, it helps to understand that Celebrating Citrus: Florida Style refers to the entire deal,…
Blister
Sometimes, you’re better off dead when you’re staring at an ice cube reflecting at your head. Refracting through one of the frozen water cubes in my pricey vodka potable at the moment are various scenes of black-on-black wildlife and nipple-free lady torsos, oversized against the vaulted mahogany of a lifestyle proffered by transient wealth. There…
Free Will Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19) The 1906 earthquake that hit San Francisco also demolished downtown Santa Rosa, 50 miles to the north. During the rebuilding process, Frank Doyle, a local businessman, pushed a radical agenda. “When we construct our new downtown thoroughfare,” he said, “let’s make it wider than it has been in the past. That…
Savage Love
I met this girl on an “adult” website, and we are supposed to meet. We first exchanged a few e-mails on the service, and then we got each other’s screen names. Then we chatted over IM twice, just the basic small talk, before exchanging numbers. It was on the phone that she told me about…
This Little Underground
And the parade of big names continues … The beat On paper, booking the original lineup of Bad Brains (March 8, Club Firestone) seemed like a certain slam-dunk. And it was, in terms of draw. But all that glitters is not gold; sometimes, it’s just old. The legend of these hardcore gods looms large, holding…
Live Active Cultures
Each week in this column I try to ladle out something from our cultural crockpot. That may include bits of visual or performing arts; perhaps a fillet from a family-friendly attraction; maybe even an appetizer of the avant-garde. But blending the multitude of ingredients into a balanced meal borders on impossible, so I’m giving this…
Happytown
Remember a couple of weeks ago when CNBC’s Rick Santelli called the poors “losers,” and patriotic Americans threw “tea parties” — like the Boston Tea Party, geddit? — to protest Maobama’s plan to give all your money to some homeless family who can’t pay their mortgage because they’re losers? Orlando may be behind the curve,…
Police Beat
March 8 (2009-109912) 12:32 a.m.: A guy was arrested on South Garland Avenue with 244 grams of pot, 10 grams of blow and a bunch of Ecstasy pills. And somewhere, someone needs a new dealer. (2009-110038) 3:03 a.m.: A cop at Universal Studios was allegedly battered by a 29-year-old while arresting him for another battery.…
Comments
Slow down Denver Nelson is an idiot `Comments, March 5`. If he bothered to check his facts, he would know this: Of the states that have a death penalty, Florida has the highest number of exonerated convicts after the fact. To me, this means either the courts should explain “reasonable doubt” better to jurors, or…
Much Ado About Nothing
Much Ado About Nothing Through April 25 Orlando Shakespeare Theater 407-447-1700 www.orlandoshakes.org $22-$38 History tells us that it took awhile for the Allies to get their act together before making considerable and finally successful progress against their Axis enemies on the battlefields of World War II. The same may be said of Orlando Shakespeare Theater’s…
Unassuming assassin
An inventory of this Midwesterner’s circumstances would strongly suggest that he is poised to become an alt-country star. Performing and collaborating with like-minded marquee talents including Chuck Ragan, Tim Barry and members of Lucero, Austin Lucas has been keeping good punk-rock company. And punk just happens to be the soil yielding today’s most invigorating folk…
Afternoon delight
The blurred cover of Wavvves appears to capture a feckless skateboarder — no knee pads — on the verge of doom. S/he’s just come off a ramp and is mere seconds away from being clotheslined by a low-hanging tree branch. San Diego musician Nathan Williams may be stuck in his early 20s, but he knows…
Are you ugly and wanting to win something?
Can you look like what your grandfather would look like if he killed your grandmother, wore her skin and hid out among a peacock exhibition? Then you could win the Dame Edna Look-a-Look Contest! The winner and “her” stylist get two pairs of tickets to the Dame Edna: My First Last Tour show at the…
really, who WOULDN’T eat george clooney-flavored tofu?
Think you hate tofu? What if it were flavored with the delicious drippings of George Clooney’s armpits â?¦ in other words, CloFu? Those crazy PETA kids have somehow acquired a towel soaked with Clooney’s perspiration, and in a letter to the actor, they propose to use “gas chromotography and mass spectometry” to replicate the flavor…
