Make Mars our bitch!
You just don’t hear that much about eco-terrorism any more. Seemed like growing up, labs of Monsanto monkeys were being sabotaged and the monkeys set loose upon their captors everyday. Now we’ve got Whale Wars and such that make it into just another job filled with people you don’t really want to work with. On…
Quote of the day
From Matthew Yglesias: Something I think most liberals donâ??t understand is exactly how stupid many conservative leaders are. There is, yes, a condescending tendency to believe that no smart person could be on the right ideologically at all. Thatâ??s dead wrong. Plenty of bright people on the right. But the way their movement works, intelligence…
Microwave sinners
Lascivious remake lets children handle a grown-up’s job
Once upon a time in the East
Wong Kar-wai takes a second stab at his elusive epic
Not yet reviewed
Not yet reviewed.
This Little Underground
The sun in this week’s galaxy was the Harvest of Hope Fest (March 6-8, St. Johns County Fairgrounds) organized by bedrock Gainesville label No Idea Records and Tampa-based music publication Reax. Another serious music festival in the state? A bonus. One with a noble cause? An imperative. Sort of like Florida’s own Farm Aid, this…
Live Active Cultures
I’m not certain the first time I heard it. Perhaps it was when Mayor Buddy began touting the land where the arena currently sits as the future home for a “creative village” dedicated to “digital media.” Maybe it was from Florida Creatives, a tech-oriented networking community run locally by Ryan Price. But suddenly it seemed…
Council Watch
All was not as it appeared beneath the swaying geometric chandeliers of the city’s check-signing club this Monday. Sure, there was your standard pre-show hobnobbing, some audible giggles from the commissioners lining the dais, a few disgruntled citizens without day jobs a-poutin’ and that choking, stale air specific to the theater of politics. But there…
Police Beat
; Feb. 21 ; (2009-85750) 10:41 p.m.: Last week, I told you how some dude jacked a pair of car seats out of a Honda S2000. Turns out, according to one loyal reader, such thefts are hardly uncommon: “According to a friend who owns a Honda S2000, the seats are stolen quite often. They are…
Happytown
And now it’s time for another edition of What’s Up With Alan?™, our attempt to keep you up to date on the comings and goings of Orlando’s favorite congressman, Alan Grayson! This week’s installment finds Alan violating the first rule of freshman legislating — shut up, keep your head down, do your constituency casework and…
The Great North American Douche-Rock Tournament
It began, as many pointless exercises do, with a text message: Who’s douchier — Incubus or Fall Out Boy? and grew into the kind of sad, giggly deconstruction that should only arise from a night of Cheetos and bong hits. The guy from Incubus likes to take his shirt off, sure, but can he compete…
Agile arms
To both their credit and detriment, this high-minded Seattle post-hardcore outfit has spent its career daring to reach for lofty heights. When it comes to making hard music, however, it’s best not to stray too far from the point. According to this third album, the lesson is learned and the result is stunning. Before a…
Brick by brick
The Bouncing Souls built their legacy by hand. They never scored a big radio hit. Instead, they established a fan base town by town, across the country, for years. During the mid-’90s, “wherever you lived, we were there twice a year,” says Souls bassist Bryan Kienlen. Over the past two decades they’ve expanded their following…
Blissful waves of Zen gaming
Gulping down 20 squirrels and 16 linebacker-sized doughnuts in the course of 10 minutes can really change your perspective on the universe. Particularly when you’re a 150-foot, rainbow-colored caterpillar winding around a world that quickly becomes too small for your snaky girth. This isn’t what Thorstein Veblen meant when he coined the concept of conspicuous…
We are all Willy’s children now
Theatre Downtown is celebrating its 20th anniversary with a solid production of Death of a Salesman, Arthur Miller’s revered drama that turns 60 this year. The production demonstrates what a double-edged blade nostalgia can be; even when the past isn’t as perfect as we pretend, living in it can be preferable to the painful present.…
Something stupid this way comes
Ah, the smell of a new legislative session in Tallahassee: the spray starch, the cheap cologne, the musty stacks of statutes, the distinct odor of cash burning. While this year’s session, which began March 3, is already doomed by headlines detailing billion-dollar budget shortfalls, that doesn’t mean that the men and women you’ve elected will…
We are what they eat?
You probably missed this amid all the other breathless coverage and seemingly more weighty issues that surrounded Barack Obama’s inauguration, but the Bushes left something behind when they cleared out. Actually it’s a someone: executive chef Cristeta Comerford, who has headed the White House kitchen since 2005. Comerford, 47, is the first woman and the…
Blister
There would be roses. Giant velvety petals in deep crimson swept cyclonically into an immersive symphony of misery. The thorns of doubt pushing blood into the temples and out of the eyes, shirts ripped open to heaving chests, hearts falling off sleeves and slapping wet against the walls. “And if a double-decker bus crashes into…
Free Will Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19) Ancient Greek philosopher Pythagoras taught that mathematics provides the ultimate truth about reality. His otherwise productive career went through a rough patch when one of his students found that the square root of two is an “irrational” number that can’t be expressed as a simple fraction. “Impossible!” said Pythagoras. His system…
Savage Love
My husband and I have been together for about four years and have been married for a little over a year. He’s 31; I’m 27. We started out as friends and soon began a long-distance relationship; then I got pregnant. We have a great friendship, and honestly I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.…
Mike Bianchi is (still) the world’s stupidest human
A while back, I took the bald-headed, brain-dead Sentinel sports columnist to task for his idiotic suggestion that new sports arenas necessarily equal championships. Today, Bianchi reclaims the helm of the S.S. Retard in championing Orange County Commissioner Bill Segal’s idea to scrap the Citrus Bowl and replace it with some billion-dollar retractable roof something-or-other…
