Warning: Totally not safe for work!
Seriously. Really. Honestly. The woman in this video is going to ramble on about how we’re abusing animals or something like that, but you’re not going to pay any attention because you’re going to be too busy oggling her naughty bits and typing with one hand. Watch more PETA videos at PETATV.com.
Ann Coulter thinks you’re a racist
If you’re a Democrat and you like that Muslim baby-killer Barack Hussein Obama, Ann Coulter knows why: YOU’RE A RACIST (and probably a fag too, but she didn’t say that at least where the tapes were running). She told Sean Hannity – seriously, she makes him look like a voice of reason: “Democrats are racist,…
Volver
Volver Length: Single Studio: Sony Pictures Classics Rated: R Website: http://www.sonyclassics.com/volver/ Release Date: 2007-01-18 Cast: Penelope Cruz, Carmen Maura, Lola Duenas, Blanca Portillo, Yohana Cobo Director: Pedro Almodovar Screenwriter: Pedro Almodovar Music Score: Alberto Iglesias WorkNameSort: Volver Our Rating: 4.00 Pedro Almodóvar’s latest masterwork, Volver, is about a family of women, ghosts, cancer and a…
Sherrybaby
Sherrybaby Studio: Universal WorkNameSort: Sherrybaby Watching Maggie Gyllenhaal’s bare body and battered soul in Laurie Collyer’s quietly extraordinary Sherrybaby, you almost get a sense that the actress knows the load that was her star-making turn in Secretary, and that this was her chance to set things right. Whereas Secretary’s self-mutilating, neurotic, child-abuse survivor found dubious…
Mouchette
Mouchette Studio: Criterion WorkNameSort: Mouchette I’ll never forget my first time seeing Mouchette, during my sophomore year of college. Impulsively checking out a crummy VHS transfer from the UCF library ‘ the film’s director, Robert Bresson, was cited as a major influence on my favorite filmmaker at the time, Hal Hartley ‘ I had one…
Sparkle
Sparkle Studio: Warner Home Video WorkNameSort: Sparkle It’s a shame that it took the release of the Dreamgirls movie to finally get this 1976 soul musical onto DVD. The packaging ‘ including the faux-Supremes pictures and the sticker proclaiming ‘Before there was Dreamgirls, there was Sparkleâ?� ‘ wants to make sure you make the connection.…
Penguinâ??s Paradise Dessert Bar
There’s a scene in the documentary film March of the Penguins when a male Emperor, braving harsh 100-mph winds, temperatures approaching 80 below and a barren, icy landscape littered with scores of frozen unborn hatchlings, successfully shields his mate’s egg long enough to witness the emergence of an adorable little fluffball. As the triumphant scene…
Visitations
Visitations Label: Domino Length: LP Rated: NONE Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Visitations The time-tested order of the day on Clinic’s fourth album is ‘short and to the point.â?� Raucous organs, jangly, fuzzed-out guitar that’s sometimes panned hard left ‘ Nuggets-style ‘ and the ubiquitous syllable-twisting sneer delivery from singer Ade Blackburn collide in just…
The Autumn Defense
The Autumn Defense Label: Broadmoor Length: LP Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Autumn Defense, The You can’t fault today’s musicians for mining the past. Music radically changes from decade to decade and while punk bands may be uncovering the same old ground, the more musically astute still find new variations on old themes. The Autumn…
Mythmaker
Mythmaker Label: SPV Length: LP Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Mythmaker With a vibe that’s somewhere between ELO’s vocoder-drenched Time LP and that long-lost satanic symphony we keep waiting for Air to record, Mythmaker finds Skinny Puppy in a decidedly fresh-faced and experimental mood on its 12th studio album. That’s not to say SP has…
100 lbs
100 lbs Label: !K7 Length: LP Media: CD Format: Reissue WorkNameSort: 100 lbs The reissue of Matthew Herbert’s 100 lbs follows quickly his secure place in the end-of-2006 crit roundup for Scale. The British electronic musician sampled 723 objects for Scale, collaborating again with Dani Siciliano for lovely results, as inspired by politics as disco.…
Letters From Iwo Jima
Letters From Iwo Jima Length: Single Studio: Paramount Pictures, Warner Bros. Pictures Rated: R Website: http://iwojimathemovie.warnerbros.com Release Date: 2007-01-18 Cast: Ken Watanabe, Kazunari Ninomiya, Tsuyoshi Ihara, Ryo Kase, Shido Nakamura Director: Clint Eastwood Screenwriter: Iris Yamashita, Paul Haggis Music Score: Lennie Niehaus, Robert Fernandez, Kyle Eastwood, Michael Stevens, Donald Harris WorkNameSort: Letters From Iwo Jima…
The Hitcher
The Hitcher Length: Single Studio: Rogue Pictures Rated: R Website: http://www.thehitchermovie.net/ Release Date: 2007-01-19 Cast: Sean Bean, Sophia Bush, Zachary Knighton, Kyle Davis, Neal McDonough Director: Dave Meyers Screenwriter: Eric Red, Eric Bernt, Jake Wall Music Score: Steve Jablonsky, Jojo Villanueva WorkNameSort: Hitcher, The Our Rating: 2.00 A style-devoid and soulless remake — which shouldn’t…
The Good German
The Good German Length: Single Studio: Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution Rated: R Website: http://thegoodgerman.warnerbros.com/ Release Date: 2007-01-18 Cast: George Clooney, Cate Blanchett, Tobey Maguire, Robin Weigert, Dave Power Director: Steven Soderbergh Screenwriter: Paul Attanasio, Joseph Kanon Music Score: Michael Zainer, Bill Bernstein, Thomas Newman WorkNameSort: Good German, The Our Rating: 2.00 With an attention to…
Pan’s Labyrinth
Pan’s Labyrinth Length: Single Studio: Picturehouse Rated: R Website: http://www.panslabyrinth.com/ Release Date: 2006-12-29 Cast: Maribel Verdu, Ivana Baquero, Sergi Lopez, Ariadna Gil, Alex Angulo Director: Guillermo del Toro Screenwriter: Guillermo del Toro Music Score: Javier Navarrete WorkNameSort: Pan’s Labyrinth Our Rating: 5.00 With Pan’s Labyrinth, director Guillermo del Toro taps the same magical vein that…
THIS LITTLE UNDERGROUND
;The fact that the Social is one of the most important independent venues in the region makes it a coveted stage for nearly every area musician. But its national reputation also means that it’s not exactly easy to land a gig there, so it holds a semiregular series called Shut Up & Play! for bands…
PARK RANGERS
; Do you ever wish Alton Brown could tell you why your pinot noir tastes different than a Bordeaux? Do you sigh at your morning cornflakes, wondering what Iron Chef Morimoto would create with them? Would you rather watch The Naked Chef than see one? You, my friend, are a member of the Food Network…
I LOVE TELEVISION
I’ve decided to begin all of my columns as if they were a movie trailer for an upcoming blockbuster film. For example … IN A WORLD where “justice” has no meaning … A WORLD overrun by CRIME AND DESTRUCTION … a group of brave HEROES will emerge to protect the weak and defend the defenseless.…
ARTS & CULTURE TO GO
;Otronicon ; ; The murky blue-gray vista of an alien world swims nauseatingly on the multistory screen in front of me, while exploding frag grenades pummel my tympanic membrane from behind. The match ends, the spectators politely applaud, and I stumble for the cinedome exit before the next motion sickness–inducing round can begin. ; ;…
COUNCIL WATCH
On the days leading up to this week’s meeting of the civic minds, the sparks of fiscal friction were palpable, largely due to what was perceived as Mayor Buddy Dyer’s fast-tracking of the agreement to build a new arena for the Orlando Magic. After a month of holiday doldrums and hangovers, the thought was this…
HAPPYTOWN
;The spring semester at the University of Central Florida was barely underway when the Man decided to crack down on Students for a Democratic Society, a group of radicals [“Second coming,” Nov. 23] who were … trying to give away stuff on a sidewalk.; ;;According to SDS members Eric Eingold and Pat DeCarlo, they were…
POLICE BEAT
JAN. 2, 7:49 A.M.: Some people go through a lot of trouble to pilfer a lot of nothing. It was reported this morning that an unknown speeding suspect or suspects came crashing through the 2-foot-high, plastic-staked fence enclosing a construction area in the 7000 block of Narcoossee Road. Inside, the perp(s) proceeded to cut donuts…
LETTERS
;Bao out I am a little perplexed at your choice of a writer for such a close-to-home, and at times very intimate, column [This Little Underground]. I can say for a fact that the Killer Robots show at the Social on Dec. 30 and the Vascular Symphony show on Jan. 5 were both exciting performances…
SELECTIONS
;Thursday•18; ;Orlando Team Meet-n-Skate ATTENTION, BRUISERS: The Florida Rollergirls are expanding to the metro Orlando area, and they want you to want them. Whether you’re 6-foot-5 or just act like it, the roller ladies need skaters, hosts, refs, techies — you name it. They’re having a “meet-n-skate” at Semoran Skateway, where they’ll teach you the…
KEEPING TO THEMSELVES
Though they’ve been praised by the local music press and almost any indie artist of rank in the area knows them, it’s quite possible you’ve never heard of Kingsbury. But the members of the introverted band admit that it’s their own fault. “We don’t really hang out,” concedes T.J. Burke (drums, programming). “We’d rather be…
LOOK WHO’S KNOCKING
;On Dec. 11, the news came that the TD Waterhouse Centre was to become, under a $1.5 million naming rights deal, the Amway Arena. Amway would also be in on the naming of the future events center scheduled to replace the arena in 2010.; ; TD Waterhouse ceased to exist in the United States in…
EVERY WHICH WAY
;It would be so easy if Clint Eastwood were as black-and-white as the characters on which he built his legacy — grizzled, misogynistic loners, the very pictures of primal, untamed manliness. But having reinvented himself over the past two decades as a behind-the-camera philosophical auteur (a title he’d surely deny), that picture of tough-guy taciturnity…
FANTASTIC VOYAGE
Pan’s Labyrinth is collecting some of the strongest reviews of the awards season, but the movie — considered by many to be the front-runner for the Best Foreign Language film Oscar — is collecting word-of-mouth praise for one of the bonus features that will be included on its DVD release, too. It seems preposterous, but…
BLISTER
Ready? OK. When I was a little god-fearing girl with grocery-cart legs and Hershey’s on my face, I knew but one rhythm, and one only: the clap-snap-clap-clap-stomp-then-spin of white-trash Jordache brats choreographing their rudimentary cheerleading mimes up and down the stained Winn-Dixie aisles. Each beaming cherub would be sporting that same crazy concentration on her…
UNCOMMON THREAD
Talking with Rick Jones, one of the members of the less than one-year-old Thread art collective, the word “snobby” comes up, along with the words “hipster” and “scene.” I ask if he’s OK with using those terms to describe his ambitious crew of 20-something local artists, and he shrugs in approval, and my understanding becomes…
SAVAGE LOVE
;I recently met the straight cousin of a good friend. On the night of our first meeting, I ended up rimming, blowing and getting fucked by him. And he blew me — badly. Since then, I’ve given him another blow job. That night he slept with his arms around me and he repeatedly muttered to…
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
ARIES “When are your cats old enough to learn about Jesus?” asks The Onion, America’s finest newspaper. Think about that question for a while. Then, once you’ve worked yourself up into a riddle-solving frame of mind, move on to these other brain-teasers: When will you finally be old enough to figure out what you want…
