They look like they’d kill your heels
This is too cute to pass up. In DeLand resides the Carousel Workshop (www.carouselworkshop.com), where owner/artist Marsha Schloesser makes wonderful inanimate equines to be impaled and placed under surreal rotating tents and ridden by children to creepy music until eventually the children understand the absurd futility of existence: everything they love is a prop taking…
So wait, Obama isn’t an EPIC FAIL?
Not according to Gallup. PRINCETON, NJ — President Barack Obama had to face tough questioning from the media this week over his process for choosing his top advisers after Tom Daschle and Nancy Killefer withdrew their nominations for failing to pay back taxes. But Americans’ support for Obama is hardly shaken, with fewer than one…
DeVos to Orlando: I’ve got mine, go fuck off
Orlando Magic idiot apologist Mike Bianchi scored an interview with his Lord and Savior Magic owner Rich DeVos – imagine that, DeVos chatting up Bianchi instead of, like, a journalist; hmmm – who said in no uncertain terms that he would not be loaning Orlando any money for its other venues, he thinks he’s done…
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASSES
3-D kid’s adventure is all cute, no character
Egg and cheese MacGuffin
Dakota Fanningâ??s not a girl, not yet an actress
HAPPYTOWN
“Billy Mays is going to be pissed!” The voice on the other end of the Happytown™ 3 a.m. Red Phone buzzed with a matter of utmost importance. “That ShamWow guy just beat him for an infomercial award!” Some investigative research — cough Google cough — proved once and for all that our greatest fantasy has…
COMMENTS
Back to the future Great article on the Downtown Ambassadors program `”You don’t say?,” Jan. 29`. Just think: another million dollars down the drain for a program that is going nowhere. Like we have tax dollars just to give away. The mayor and city council would have been better off revisiting the CETA Program of…
PLAYFEST! PLAY-IN-A-DAY 2009
On Monday night (Jan. 26) the Lowndes Shakespeare Center hosted the first — and only — performance of Orlando’s annual exhibition of theatrical masochism. Producers Beth Marshall and David Lee once again laid down the gauntlet to the 24 participating artists: write, rehearse and perform an original short play in a 24-hour time span. On…
THE SPECTER OF SPECTOR
It’s probably counterproductive for Tampa five-piece Lush Progress to have named their new album something that brings to mind an amalgam of elevator music and German ambient-schmaltzers Tangerine Dream, but give them credit for honesty: They don’t hide who or what they are. Led by Drew Cutler’s delicate, droopy-lidded lounge falsetto and compositions that call…
THEY’RE GIRLS – GET OVER IT
Twice a week, four women gather at a cozy house on a quiet street. Far from a book club or some Yankee Candle buying party, it’s the practice space of local “mutt rock” smart-mouths the Little Debbies. Bookshelves rattling and poster-plastered walls shaking from their grungy mix of punk, rockabilly and surf, the place is…
BLOOD ON THE TRACKS
Wounded. There’s no other way to describe local rocker Thomas Wynn’s uninterrupted state of alternating chain-smoking defensiveness and self-justifying internal monologuing of half-real harmony and accord. Like interstellar debris latched onto a low-velocity comet, she hitches a quiet ride on his every thought pattern, but at the point of impact she’s unavoidably present. Not an…
ECSTATIC TRANSFORMATIONS
Looking at Jess: To and From the Printed Page, on display at Cornell Fine Arts Museum, is like strolling through the inside of someone else’s head. All the San Francisco artist’s obsessions, the cultural detritus and lovers’ in-jokes, his fears, his joys, find tangible form in his “paste-ups.” Those feelings may appear to be literally…
THE 2008 P.U.-LITZER PRIZES
Now in their 17th year, the P.U.-litzer Prizes recognize some of the nation’s stinkiest media performances. As the judges for these annual awards, we do our best to identify the most deserving recipients of this unwelcome plaudit. And now, without further ado, the 2008 P.U.-litzer Prizes: Hot for Obama Prize: Chris Matthews, MSNBC’s Hardball This…
CHRISTMAS IN FEBRUARY
Any congressional bill in the 650-page range has something in it for you to love — or hate. The American Recovery and Investment Act, or H.R. 1, is no different. The $825 billion-plus stimulus package is a cornucopia of legalese, inscrutable tax cuts and mind-bogglingly detailed line-item appropriations with frightening amounts of zeros. On Jan.…
TWO FACES OF COMMA
For an example of the just-started ArtsFest hyperactivity (see Selections, page 16), take Comma Gallery, the cozy hole in the wall on Virginia Drive that continues to uncover remarkable artists living in our area, thanks to the curiosity and enthusiasm of Kim Sumner and Karen Carasik. This week sees the final talk by Patrick McGrath…
DAY FOR NIGHT
At 24-hour film festivals, it’s the veterans that are a bundle of nerves, not the rookies, because they know what lies ahead. Writing, directing and editing a short film in a day is a rite of passage for film students and cineastes, a no-holds-barred panic of colliding visions, clashing egos and a deadline looming overhead…
BLISTER
It used to be that by the time the palpable effervescence of a Saturday sundown rolled past my nose, I was already 10 feet into the closet and buried in the cupcake sprinkles of rhinestones, sequins, tight crotches and shoulder pads, spinning frantically — but somehow rhythmically in time — with the thump-thump of last…
CAN CAN
I sort of stumbled into canning a couple years back when I lucked into free all-I-could-pick organic apples and suddenly needed a way to preserve a lot of applesauce. Or perhaps I should say I stumbled back into canning, since I grew up in a family that raised and put up a lot of its…
SAVAGE LOVE
My girlfriend and I are into male-orgasm denial. We’ve recently tried putting Orajel on my cock and then covering it with two condoms so she can use me as a dildo without me getting off or even feeling anything. It works great. Is there any chance of long-term health issues if we do this once…
THIS LITTLE UNDERGROUND
Comin’ at yo face like a Springsteen Super Bowl crotch on greased knees! The beat While we’re all riding the glory of purging our reality of its cancers, I should go ahead and mention the farewell performance of Cori Yarckin, on whose wee head I’ve dropped plenty of invective over the years (Jan. 31, Back…
LIVE ACTIVE CULTURE
Jim Henson’s Fantastic World arrives this week at the Orange County Regional History Center, and members of the puppet pioneer’s family will be on hand to help celebrate the exhibit. Never before have I been as nervous as I was last Saturday, pacing outside a Winter Garden café, waiting for a woman who shares a…
COUNCIL WATCH
There was little news at this week’s damp civic yawn. February is American Heart Month, so some American Heart Association lady wearing red to honor the occasion said that at least one woman would die every minute of the council meeting from a heart attack unless everybody wears red on Friday, got it? Also, commissioner…
POLICE BEAT
Editor’s note: This is a corrected version of this column, omitting an item that mistakenly identified Universal Studios as the place where a robbery occurred Jan. 19. Jan. 16 (2009-25461) 1:36 p.m.: “On the above date and time at the above location, unknown black male approached the victim, mushed him in the face, and took…
the only thing better than a dead immigrant is a chocolate-covered one.
Oh, those pesky Hungarians overrunning Slough. Gives death by chocolate new meaning, though. Fifteen chocolate-covered stowaways were arrested today after they were found in more than 20 tonnes of cocoa powder destined for a Mars Bar factory. The illegal immigrants coughed and spluttered as they climbed out of a tanker at the plant in Slough.…
Rapper the Game’s sis recovers, asks for more
I’m no fan of Compton, Ca. rapper The Game, as readers of XXL can attest to, but I was happy to see that his sister, Sherani Taylor, has recovered nicely from being shot in a drive-by outside The Game’s house back in October. But I’m not sure announcing the when and where of a “homecoming…
Why Republicans will keep losing
They’re taking advice – literally – from this guy. From the story: “When GOP congressional aides gather Tuesday morning for a meeting of the Conservative Working Group, Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher â?? more commonly known as Joe the Plumber â?? will be their featured guest. This group is an organization of conservative Capitol Hill staffers who…
