UNMITIGATED GAUL
Humble cafe melds genuine charm with light French fare
Be Kind Rewind
Be Kind Rewind Rated: PG-13 Cast: Jack Black, Mos Def, Danny Glover Director: Michel Gondry WorkNameSort: Be Kind Rewind Our Rating: 2.50 Michel Gondry’s loopy comedy begins from a high-concept premise; it’s fundamentally a celebration of everything that maintains a degree of local flavor. But somewhere along the way, Gondry’s paean to the low-budget DIY…
In Bruges
In Bruges Studio: New Line Cinema Rated: R Cast: Colin Farrell, Ralph Fiennes, Elizabeth Berrington Director: Martin McDonagh WorkNameSort: In Bruges Our Rating: 4.50 A pair of hit men are ordered to cool their heels in the fairy-tale city of Bruges after a job goes terribly wrong. What awful thing happened isn’t clear, but young…
George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead
George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead Studio: Weinstein Company Rated: R Cast: Michelle Morgan, Joshua Close Director: George A. Romero WorkNameSort: George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead Our Rating: 4.50 Diary finds Romero returning to smaller-budget indie filmmaking after his disappointing last film, Land of the Dead. Good thing — going back to…
Jumper
Jumper Studio: Fox Rated: PG-13 Cast: Hayden Christensen, Samuel L. Jackson, Diane Lane Director: Doug Liman WorkNameSort: Jumper Our Rating: 3.00 Jumper isn’t a comic-book movie, but it feels like one. The only problem is that its hero, David Rice (Hayden Christensen) — a guy who can teleport anywhere in the world — isn’t really…
The Spiderwick Chronicles
The Spiderwick Chronicles Studio: Paramount Rated: PG-13 Cast: Freddie Highmore, Mary-Louise Parker, Nick Holte Director: Mark Waters WorkNameSort: Spiderwick Chronicles, The Our Rating: 4.00 Mark Waters’ film has two things going for it: a laudable degree of craftsmanship and the promise of no sequels. Condensing five short juvenile novels into a single 90-minute film, the…
A LIFE OF HIS OWN
Session musician Dom Brown tests the solo water
WHAT LIES BELOW
In many ways, the exterior of the vacant building at 113 Palmetto Ave. in Sanford looks like the rest of the city’s historic downtown: old-fashioned, with quaint turn-of-the-century appeal. But the inside of the building is a shell; the floors are cracked concrete; there are open holes in the walls and rotting, splintered beams in…
KAUFMAN DIGS ZOMBIE CHICKS!
Lloyd Kaufman, the cult filmmaker and founder of Troma Entertainment, whose latest horror work was ignored by the Academy Awards yet again, is none too pleased with the nominees representing American cinema’s best and brightest of 2007. I’m trying to ask him a few questions about the film Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (which…
KILL ‘EM SOFTLY WITH YOUR SONG
Somebody once quipped that keeping a song in your heart was like providing karaoke to the voices in your head. Clever, sure, but these days, we don’t even need season seven – season seven! – of American Idol to prove we’d much rather just open our mouths, belt out “Umbrella,” and let the voices in…
PERFECTLY ORCHESTRATED
The members of the fictional Lazara String Quartet all studied under the same inspirational mentor, who taught them that they “must be like four instruments played with one bow.” When they are at their best, they produce music greater than the sum of the quartet’s parts – “You can’t tell who’s who anymore.” But collaborative…
I LOVE TELEVISION
Are you happy the writers’ strike is finally over? Well, I most certainly am … NOT!! What people fail to realize is that “desperation” makes for the best television. And when there are no writers to sit around and snort coke all day before finally deciding to churn out some fart jokes for Two and…
LIVE ACTIVE CULTURES
This issue marks four weeks since I started churning out my column of cultural commentary, and I’ve gotta say I’ve been overwhelmed with the volume of arts experiences Orlando has to offer. With such diverse diversions to dish about, I’m tempted to touch on each and every one, but then the AP English teacher in…
THIS LITTLE UNDERGROUND
’Twas the eve of Valentine’s Day and the breast of the crisp night air heaved lustily with love. And if you were anywhere near Stardust Video & Coffee, that love sounded pretty fucked up. That’s right, my babies, it’s that time of year again when noise music invades Florida. The annual International Noise Conference went…
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
ARIES (March 21-April 19) I’m 99 percent positive that in the coming week you will not wind up in a hand-to-hand battle on top of a speeding truck with a rogue agent of the secret government. It’s also highly unlikely that you will be forced to engage in magical combat with a well-dressed goblin from…
SAVAGE LOVE
I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 30. He’s been married three times and has six children from a variety of women. I know, it sounds bad. But he’s one of those guys who wanted a family. Anyway, long story short, I feel insecure because he has had a MILLION experiences and I…
BLISTER
There would be no outrageous rose bouquets, no heart-shaped chocolate smears on candlelit walls and no gloved hands shoving diamonds into my sexual core this Valentine’s Day – just the sterile romance of cellphoned apologies from the traveling husband and a phallic frozen burrito to cram in my lonely mouth, thank you very much. I…
HAPPYTOWN
Two weeks ago in this space, we told you all about how Tribune owner Sam Zell went haywire on an Orlando Sentinel photographer who dared to ask about the paper’s softening journalistic endeavors. “Fuck you,” Zell told her, after mumbling some nonsense about “journalistic arrogance” and telling the assembled Sentinel workers that if stories about…
POLICE BEAT
Jan. 31 (2008-46495) 1:23 p.m.: Breaking: Cops found drugs at an apartment complex on the Trail! Normally, I wouldn’t let such a routine event take up this column’s precious real estate. However, this arrest warrants further examination, as it provides a case study in what not to do if a cop drives by and you’re…
THE QUIET EXPAT
As the bassist for Fugazi, Joe Lally’s fluid, low-end playing was a defining element of the group’s unique sound. For the 15 years the band was active, Lally and his bandmates redefined the sonic possibilities of punk rock, but even for those accustomed to their flights of stylistic fancy, the pastoral, jazzy minimalism of Lally’s…
MAIL SACK
JUSTICE ISN’T BLIND The public defender system has deteriorated from the noble cause of providing counsel, to a system of providing employment for incompetent attorneys. The article `“The defense never rests,” Feb. 14` mentioned the high turnover rate at the public defender’s office. This is because some attorneys use the office for entry-level employment. Once…
935 LIES
After years of changing rationales, justifications and reasons as to why the U.S. invaded Iraq, we seem to have reached a national consensus: We invaded Iraq because people told lies. More specifically, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, Ari Fleischer and Scott McClellan lied to the American Congress,…
