Feb 11-17, 2015

Feb 11-17, 2015 / Vol. 31 / No. 7

Cover Story

Get nasty with Blowfly at Ralphfest

When a tried-and-true hit-maker decides to take on an X-rated alter ego the way Clarence Reid has done since 1971, you know it’s gonna be catchy and funny as hell, and that’s why Blowfly’s cult following has ground along with the filthy-minded rapper for more than 40 years. If you’ve never caught this caped freak…

Stuff your face at the Downtown Food and Wine Festival

Wine and food, what more could you possibly want? With more than 100 menu items and 10 wine stations, seconds are in store. But be sure not to fill up on one menu item – you don’t want to miss out on the wide variety of nibbles and tipples this festival has to offer. Consider…

Meet the Highwaymen at the Orange County Regional History Center

Downtown’s Orange County Regional History Center stays true to its name, currently displaying the work of the historic Highwaymen. A group of self-taught African-American artists, the Highwaymen sold their landscapes straight out of the trunks of their cars in Jim Crow-era Florida. As their popularity increased into the ’90s, paintings by the Highwaymen became prized…

Audubon Park invites you in for a look-see

Voyeur much? Peeping Toms with impeccable taste should be interested in this house tour organized by the Audubon Park Garden District, in which complete strangers are welcomed into well-decorated neighborhood homes. Audubon Park is known for its midcentury bungalows, and that’s what this tour will focus on – “five beautiful homes that range from midcentury…

It’s a canine carnival at Puppy Love

If you made it to last year’s Puppy Love event at the Acre (sponsored by yours truly), you know it wasn’t your typical dog-walk-in-the-park kind of event. In addition to a ton of vendors, we had a photo booth where you could get photos taken with your dogs, a doggie lure-coursing track, contests, games, food…

Orlando Ballet and Cirque du Soleil join forces to form an unstoppable mega-troupe for one night only

Two powerhouses of movement arts, Orlando Ballet and Cirque du Soleil, join forces tonight for a one-night only spectacular, squishing together into one big pirouetting troupe – exactly like that time that Marvel and DC squished their universes together and combined Wolverine and Batman into the slightly more-badass-than-either Dark Claw. This critically acclaimed partnership –…

Choose your own Everything Is Terrible! adventure

Every time found footage freakshow Everything Is Terrible! comes to town, their show gets a little more elaborate. The mascot-from-hell costumes of early tours gave way to a full-on puppet extravaganza for their holiday special in 2013. Now they’ve added an interactive element, allowing the audience to choose between categories like “Sex vs. Violence” or…

Lights shines her new-wave pop laser at the Beacham

After a crunchy introduction to the masses on her highly acclaimed sophomore effort, 2011’s Siberia, Lights bounced back in 2014 with a more polished version of her new-wave pop in Little Machines. With a cog literally painted on her face on the album cover, she seems to be openly grinding out more radio-friendly output like…

Orlando Eye will open on May 4

If you’ve been down in the I-Drive area lately, you’ve likely seen the big-ass ferris wheel looming over the area. That’s the Orlando Eye, a 400-foot-tall “observation wheel” with fully enclosed, air-conditioned capsules that you ride in. Horrifying for those of us who do not care for heights, but divine for people who are all…

New Colossal Curl flume ride coming to Adventure Island in Tampa

With water parks rumors running wild right now here in Orlando, it’s easy to forget that Tampa also has one of the best water parks in the state. Adventure Island  (owned by SeaWorld Parks and Entertainment) is ramping up for the 2015 season with its first new ride since 2006 – Colossal Curl. The new 70-foot-high…

Universal Orlando bans bottled water (for now)

Next time you head to Universal Orlando or City Walk, make sure you’re hydrated before you’re in the gates. According to Click Orlando and Theme Park Insider, the park is now prohibiting guests from bringing bottled water inside when they arrive. The rule apparently went into effect suddenly – a bunch of unhappy visitors to…

Letters to a Satanist: Does Satanism fuel immorality?

Satanism is inherently oppositional and will always attract the disaffected. Don’t you worry Satanism only fuels criminality and justifies immorality? No. If one thing should be painfully obvious by now in regard to morality, it’s that ostentatious declarations of fealty to mainstream religious codes don’t in any way ensure actual moral behavior. Nor, in reality,…

Fantasy of Flight reopens to the public with limited museum hours

In April, 2014 Polk City-based Fantasy of Flight (you know, the attraction that features the giant airplane on the side of I-4 on the way to Tampa) shut its doors to the general public. While the space did remain a popular location for private events, the award-winning facility mostly got back to its roots by…

CFE Arena ranks fifth in the nation for university venue ticket sales

Every year, Venues Today magazine produces a top University Venues list, compiling the best college venues throughout the world. This year, UCF’s CFE Arena has been recognized as one of the top performing university venues, ranking at fifth in the nation based on gross ticket sales and attendance during the 2014 event season. The CFE…

Enzian Theater plans two new screens for 2016

The Enzian, the Orlando area’s art-house and independent cinema, hopes to break ground this year on an expansion that will roughly double its size, the theater announced Sunday during its 30th anniversary celebration. Construction is expected to take about a year, Enzian President Henry Maldonado says, with fall 2016 as the completion target. “We want…

Get bloody! Sharknado 3 seeks extras for Orlando filming

UPDATE: We heard from the casting company that we originally linked to that this will not be a SAG shoot (surprise: Florida is not so much a labor-union-friendly state) – but they will be casting the non-union extras, so please follow the guidelines below.  We told you it was coming last year, and now the…

Sordid FDLE report outlines alleged relationship between former MBI officer and local prostitute

In mid-January, a high-profile officer with the Orlando Police Department who worked with the Metropolitan Bureau of Investigation announced that he’d be retiring from the department effective Feb. 1. Lt. Samuel Riggi’s resignation, it was revealed, came at a time when he was also under internal investigation for allegedly violating “policy and procedures.” When WFTV reported on…

Disney dining dos and don’ts

The Walt Disney Company reminds me of that old friend from high school that you recently reconnected with on Facebook: cute kid, bad politics. Try as you might to bring that friend back to who they were in 1994, it ain’t happenin’. They very well may have been a racist jerk from the start. Some…

Amazon in talks with Sid and Marty Krofft to remake classic 70s series “Sigmund and the Sea Monsters”

My response to today’s press release informing the world that Amazon plans to reboot the classic kids’ show Sigmund and the Sea Monsters was very professional. Something along the lines of: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”  Sid and Marty Krofft are best known for their work on the Banana Splits and later, the trippy H.R. Pufnstuf (magical adventures of a boy named…

Concert pic of the week: The insane crowd at Andrew W.K.

We’ve been waiting and waiting on these Andrew W.K. shots to come in, and they more than delivered on capturing the crazed atmosphere Andrew W.K. reliably incites. You can see more photos from the show, including blood-stained T-shirts, creative crowdsurfing and tons of shots of that ecstatic beast, Andrew W.K. This week’s runner-up is an…

Orlando Wetlands Park is more than just another pretty place

When you flush your toilet or turn your tap, be sure to thank the Orlando Wetlands Park. The 1,650-acre property in Christmas in east Orange County used to be a cattle pasture. Then the city of Orlando purchased the land for $5.1 million in 1986 to help treat wastewater on a larger scale in response…

Savage Love (2/11/15)

My 15-year-old son has been watching sadistic porn – and ONLY sadistic porn – for a couple of years. He also tells us (husband and me) that, although he’s not had sex (which he defines as penetration), he’s had oral sex, handjobs, etc., and that he didn’t “flash on” violent images at those times. But he says…

This Little Underground: Swamburger and the Social join forces

If you’re in the local scene to any meaningful degree, you know Swamburger by name, face or reputation. He’s best known as one of the city’s most visible and accomplished artists in the worlds of both hip-hop and visual art. But he’s always been one of the more community-minded shakers out there, and he’s recently…

‘Mr. Turner’ captures spirit of famous painter

The auteur theory suggests that a film reflects the personality and artistic vision of its director. That may be true for most great movies, but directors such as Mike Leigh understand when to surrender their own aesthetic to their subjects’. Mr. Turner, a sublime journey through the life and work of renowned English landscape painter…

Love Your Shorts Film Festival celebrates its fifth year

Showing only movies under 30 minutes, Sanford’s film festival may be short on runtimes, but it’s not short on accomplishments. Beginning in 2011 with screenings in a 100-seat room at the chamber of commerce, the Love Your Shorts Film Festival has grown into arguably one of the top five movie events in Central Florida, drawing…

Strong script, competent performances power Doubt

“Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty,” John Patrick Shanley wrote. He should know, as he not only authored the Tony Award-winning play on the subject but wrote and directed the movie, which garnered Oscar nominations for all four principals. It’s fair to say, therefore, that the quality of Shanley’s writing…

Mills Park craft beer bar Brass Tap is an ideal casual hang

Brass Tap Address/phone/web: 1632 N. Mills Ave., 407-270-9538; brasstapbeerbar.com After work or after hours? Both, but it’s a great weekend afternoon hang Beer/wine or liquor too? Beeeeer Check all that apply: ☐ fancy cocktails ☐ make ’em strong and keep ’em coming ☒ wine list (5 choices or more) ☒ craft beer ☐ beer: the…

Cheap chocolate cheat sheet: Tasting notes on drugstore chocolate

Valentine’s Day: It’s a fake holiday, a commercial sham, a day for singles to wallow in their singleness or couples to nauseate said singles with their lovey-doveyness, but most importantly, it’s a socially acceptable excuse to eat copious chocolate. If expensive artisan truffles for your main squeeze (or yourself) aren’t in the budget this year,…

Charlotte’s Web gets even more tangled

While we all sit on our shaking hands waiting to see if either the Legislature or the voting public (the ones who’ll be voting in the general election in 2016, at least) come to their senses and actually legalize medicinal marijuana, the wayward weaving of the already approved Charlotte’s Web strain of cannabis – the…

Picks This Week: Diana Ross, Lil Durk, Alice Cooper and more

Diana Ross One of the most glamorous, badass singers to grace this world comes to the Dr. Phillips Center for Performing Arts this week. She’ll stun us with Supremes medleys and powerhouse performances of songs that are ultra-fitting (like her gowns) to this goddess’ pop endurance, like “Endless Love.” 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 11, at…


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