Frizzly man
One of our great directors tries his hand at trash
HAPPYTOWN
End of the year? Check. Short attention span? Hi! How are you? Well then, it must be time once again for Happytown™’s Year in Review in 425 words or less! And what a crappy year 2009 was. In no particular order … Unemployment soared to 11.5 percent statewide, and 11.8 percent in the Orlando-Kissimmee metropolitan…
POLICE BEAT
Dec. 16 (2009-594702) 9 a.m.: Sometime in the previous four days, somebody got over the fence at Infrastructure Corporation of America on McCoy Road and took a big spool of copper wire. (2009-593414) 8:06 p.m.: Three guys gave a woman a ride from Fort Lauderdale to the Greyhound station on North John Young Parkway, but…
THIS LITTLE UNDERGROUND
Shit, another year gone! That really freaks me out. Anyway, you know what that means, kids — yep, time for the annual year-end Undie Awards! The following are some local truths that became apparent to me over the course of the 300 or so concerts I attended this year. Drum roll, please … The 2009…
Voodoo lounge
Séance of the ancient and urban, conjured by a spidery, hypnotic rhythm derived from spirit possession ceremonies, the Orchestre Poly-Rythmo de Cotonou owes its black magic to the Vodoun effect. That boom bo-bo-bo boom doesn’t so much move you as carry you. Originating from Benin, Africa, the birthplace of Vodoun (a polytheistic religion of some…
LIVE ACTIVE CULTURES
As the calendar ends, a lazy columnist’s thoughts turn to summing up the previous year in a numbered list: top 10, terrible 20, middling 14, yada yada. Honestly, I’m too exhausted from eating to count that high. So instead, here’s an unscientific, purely subjective, laughably incomplete and possibly incoherent selection of my most memorable moments…
Drink to this
When the moment arrives at midnight Dec. 31, too much celebration can twist the tongues of the best-intentioned toasters. Lest your words (and mind) start to slur, we consulted some members of the arts community to find out what toasts they were going to make to ring in the baby New Year. Even if your…
Horrible reality
It’s been a tough year for North Miami resident Martin Gill. The 48-year-old gay foster parent and his partner should have been elated by the decision in their favor handed down in November 2008 by Miami-Dade circuit judge Cindy Lederman, formally allowing them to adopt the two boys, now ages 5 and 9, that they’ve…
Mulligan
Let’s be clear: We really don’t care who is gripping Tiger Woods’ putter. Neither should you. He’s rich and famous and if he wants to shag every waitress who serves him a drink, what business is it of yours? People cheat. Even famous people. Stop acting so surprised. But there is one giant, unanswered question…
Take a bow
There could have been so much disappointment to chew on at the movies this year. Cinema’s two big seasons — summer and December — mostly turned out thudding clangs of awful. From X-Men Origins: Wolverine to Terminator Salvation to — shudder — the Transformers sequel, Hollywood’s big summer money grab left audiences feeling violated rather than captivated. The end-of-the-year scramble for…
DVDS NUTS!
It Might Get Loud Fascinating in fits and starts, this documentary by the maker of An Inconvenient Truth throws together a great guitarist from each of three separate generations — Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page, U2’s The Edge and the White Stripes’ Jack White — to see what happens when they jam together and discuss their musical upbringings. Possibly…
Champagne with a twist
So you say it was a tough year, huh? Well, look at it this way: You’ve almost made it out of this millennium’s first decade. This was the decade that the Internet hit puberty; the decade that gave birth to Google — do you remember life before you could “Google it?”; the decade in which…
Popping the cork
When I was a child, no holiday table was complete without a bottle of wine with a foil-wrapped cork, a pop and a sparkle. Often, it was Paul Masson Crackling Rosé (yes, like the Neil Diamond song), pink and pétillant. On New Year’s Eve, it was giant bottles of golden Martini & Rossi Asti Spumante.…
BLISTER
There was a time when this all fit together more nicely. For every off-key rendition of “Carol of the Bells” and post-supper immersion into How the Grinch Stole Christmas there was always a place beyond the immediate — behind the left eye, perhaps — of utter strategy. There, neurons kept tabs on gestures of influence,…
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
ARIES (March 21-April 19) One of my favorite landscape painters makes a livable wage from selling her art. She has had many gallery showings and has garnered much critical acclaim. But she feels obligated to keep churning out more landscapes — even when her muse nudges her to take a detour. Galleries don’t want anything…
SAVAGE LOVE
Set me straight. I married my wife several months ago after dating for three years. Things are excellent except for one problem: When she gets drunk, she gets crazy flirtatious. She’ll dance close to people, touch them, hold hands. A couple of times, I thought it went too far and I told her she was…
