Drama queen
Portrait of a new queen eschews history for sweetness
Sweat detective
Sherlock Holmes becomes an action star in an exciting reboot
Revue of film
Conventionality and cynicism sullies Felliniâ??s madness
Delicious dish
Fellow interweb fiends may have noticed a serious spike in bacon-worship over the past several months, spawning a community of giddy hipster noobs who suddenly blog about how awesome bacon is. An astute poster at PublicSchoolIntelligentsia.com observed that these “hiptards” have chosen bacon as the next blue-collarish thing to appropriate and shamelessly fancy up beyond…
Salmon campanelle casserole
Salmon Casserole Ingredients 1 16-ounce box campanelle or bag of egg noodles 1 large (usually 14.75 ounce) can of salmon 2 cans cream of mushroom soup, or 1 can cream of mushroom and 1 can golden mushroom 1 1/2 cups milk, stock, or combination thereof 1/2 bag or 8 ounces frozen peas 1/2 cup frozen…
Blister
Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle go the lights attached to wires attached to plugs wedged into drywall sockets, and the process of illumination — ornamented stillness cramped into a real estate coffin, now with the odd temporal purpose of Christmas glee — turns ever so uncomfortably into a process of elimination. There’s a flimsy hook threaded through…
Free Will Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19) What influences do you really, really need to say goodbye to? The next six months will provide you with ample motivation and opportunity to finally bid those farewells. What long-term cycle really, really needs to be drawn to a close, no more hemming and hawing, all loose ends tied up and…
Savage Love
I’m a woman who wants to be spanked. But I’m overweight and self-conscious. Men who like to spank women like to spank petite women. Sometimes I’ll search kinky personal sites or other online forums and find someone who might want to spank me. But I get scared and I back out. Most recently, I’ve been…
Happytown
Florida became a battleground for Virginians Dec. 16 when People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals — based in Norfolk, Va. — used the Sheraton Orlando Downtown as the scene of its press conference denouncing Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey’s Center for Elephant Conservation. That Polk City facility is ultimately run by the circus’…
Police Beat
Dec. 9 (2009-581164) 2:02 p.m.: A woman crossing John Young Parkway against the light started running when someone honked at her, and ran straight into the path of an oncoming car. (2009-581345) 3:50 p.m.: A woman said she parked behind the McDonald’s on South Semoran Boulevard planning to sell some silver jewelry — $100,000 worth.…
Live Active Cultures
Ah, the sweet sounds and smells of the season: The heartwarming music of digital explosions and cha-chinging cash registers, and savory scents of faux-butter flavoring and flash-fried egg rolls. And, there’s the shinning sun and gentle breezes of a warm midwinter’s morn. Yes, it’s time once again for we Jews to celebrate another traditional Floridian…
This Little Underground
Right about now, I bet everybody’s praying they were wicked enough this year to get as much coal as possible just for some fuel. Yeah, I’d burn the shit outta that too. The Beat For his birthday party, Mumpsy member Chris Rae organized an interesting miniature festival (Dec. 16, The Social) featuring four “stages” to…
Itâ??s in a box
It’s Christmas week and, just like every year, you’re in a complete panic. “What do I buy my music-fan friend(s) for Christmas?” you ask. “They’re in the record store/on iTunes/swarming a torrent every Tuesday when the new releases come out, so they’ve certainly gotten everything that came out this year that they wanted.” And the…
Tip of the Spear
Tip of the Spear Andrew Spear: Solo Exhibition Through Jan. 9 at Bold Hype 1844 E. Winter Park Road 407-629-2965 www.boldhype.net Free Andrew Spear’s compulsion to draw is well-known by now in Orlando, with a body of work verging on the iconic. His wall murals at the entryway to CityArts Factory (one of Erykah Badu…
Stupid book, be more funny
The Simpsons: An Uncensored, Unauthorized History John Ortved Faber & Faber, hardcover hardcover What’s that line? Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. It popped into my head a lot over the first 289 pages of John Ortved’s The Simpsons: An Uncensored, Unauthorized History, and I thought I was pretty clever until Ortved himself…
People who died 2009
Michael Jackson was only 50 when he died on June 25. Claude Lévi-Strauss was 100 when he passed on Oct. 30. Jackson was undoubtedly the more famous of the two, a household name all over the planet, and the ludicrous hype of his later career and his tabloid notoriety don’t dim the appeal of the…
