PARK AVENUE STAR
I’ll never forget when a fun, pretty girl from out of town joined my high school halfway through junior year. It caused quite a stir with the popular crowd, and the trendiest girls were all in a tizzy, threatened by their sudden change in status. They eventually began to imitate her language and style. The…
Shadow of Light/Archive
Shadow of Light/Archive Label: Beggars Banquet DVD Rated: NONE WorkNameSort: Shadow of Light/Archive As one of those unfortunate bands whose legacy was permanently altered by the fashion-conscious myth-making of fans who never actually saw the band perform (see also: Misfits, Velvet Underground, Nirvana), Bauhaus has been misunderstood for more years than they were extant. Judging…
Hip Hop Gold Dust
Hip Hop Gold Dust Label: Antidote Rated: NONE WorkNameSort: Hip Hop Gold Dust Prior to running the Handsome Boy Modeling School, Prince Paul birthed both the hip-hop album skit and a widely celebrated alternative approach to rap music. Both conventions culminated in 1989, on the Paul-produced debut from De La Soul, Three Feet High and…
MOSSAD BUT TRUE
Munich Studio: Dreamworks Rated: R Website: http://www.munichmovie.com/ Release Date: 2005-12-23 Cast: Eric Bana, Daniel Craig, Geoffrey Rush, Mathieu Kassovitz, Ayelet July Zurer Director: Steven Spielberg Screenwriter: Tony Kushner WorkNameSort: Munich Our Rating: 4.00 To paraphrase Mickey Rourke in Body Heat, any time you try to make a film based on the assassination of 11 Israeli…
NIPPON/TUCK
Memoirs of a Geisha Studio: Dreamworks Rated: PG-13 Website: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/memoirsofageisha/ Release Date: 2005-12-23 Cast: Ziyi Zhang, Ken Watanabe, Gong Li, Michelle Yeoh, Youki Kudoh Director: Rob Marshall Screenwriter: Doug Wright, Akiva Goldsman, Robin Swicord, Ronald Bass Music Score: John Williams WorkNameSort: Memoirs of a Geisha Our Rating: 3.00 With direction by A-list schlockmeister Rob (Chicago)…
Fun With Dick and Jane
Fun With Dick and Jane Studio: Sony Pictures Rated: PG-13 Website: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/funwithdickandjane/index.html Release Date: 2005-12-23 Cast: Jim Carrey, Téa Leoni, Alec Baldwin, Richard Jenkins, Angie Harmon Director: Dean Parisot Screenwriter: Judd Apatow, Nicholas Stoller Music Score: Theodore Shapiro WorkNameSort: Fun With Dick and Jane Our Rating: 3.50 Credit producer/star Jim Carrey with knowing that this…
The Producers
The Producers Studio: Universal Pictures Rated: PG-13 Website: http://www.theproducersmovie.com/ Release Date: 2005-12-23 Cast: Will Ferrell, Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick, Uma Thurman, Gary Beach Director: Susan Stroman Screenwriter: Mel Brooks, Thomas Meehan Music Score: Douglas Besterman, Todd Cooper WorkNameSort: Producers, The Our Rating: 3.50 Let’s get the negatives out of the way first: A 134-minute musical…
BOUND FOR GLORIA
Beyond the Rocks Studio: Filmmuseum Amsterdam Rated: R Release Date: 2005-12-22 Cast: Gloria Swanson, Rudolph Valentino, Edythe Chapman, Alec B. Francis, Robert Bolder Director: Sam Wood WorkNameSort: Beyond the Rocks Our Rating: 4.00 With the indie-film community hell-bent on discovering what’s hot and new, new, NEW, it’s nice to see downtown’s DMAC devoting its Christmas…
CHEESE CRATER
Wolf Creek Studio: The Weinstein Company Rated: R Website: http://www.wolfcreekthemovie.com/ Release Date: 2005-12-23 Cast: Cassandra Magrath, John Jarret, Kestie Morassi, Nathan Phillips, Andy McPhee Director: Greg McLean Screenwriter: Greg McLean WorkNameSort: Wolf Creek Our Rating: 1.00 Already off to an ignominious start with the disappointing Derailed, The Weinstein Co. hits rock bottom – let’s hope…
RHYTHM & OOZE
When Dylan Carlson released Earth 2 in 1993, many people thought it was a joke. Carlson was signed to Sub Pop, arguably the biggest indie label at the time. He was friends with Kurt Cobain, who played on Earth’s 1991 debut, Extra-Capsular Extractions. That record was recognizably “metal,” albeit tweaked; there were (programmed) drums, howling…
WORTH MAKING A STINK
One thing is for sure: Orlando, cheesy as some may say it is, lacks decent cheese. On the dining-out frontier, we’re doing great. When it comes to libations, spectacular. We’re even doing OK on the chocolate front. But when it comes to handcrafted speciality cheeses, there’s nothing happening. Whole Foods has an adequate cheese department…
MUSEOLOGY 101
Arthur R. Blumenthal is not your traditional museum director. The tall, distinguished, slightly quirky art scholar will tell you as much himself. Blumenthal, 63, has been with the Cornell Fine Arts Museum at Rollins College for almost 18 years, and he gets bored at museum director association meetings. “Museology [the discipline of museum design, organization…
DOING THE HARD SELL
It’s a cold Tuesday evening at the Sanford Memorial Stadium just north of Orlando, where more than 40 of the area’s best high school football players are practicing for the Central Florida All-Star Game. A smattering of parents line the well-lit field, watching their sons smack pads and listening to coaches yell typical sports motivation.…
Happytown
Dear Polk County residents: Do you realize how your law enforcement officials are making you look to the rest of the world? No? The words “ignorant,” “backward” and “hay-munching rubes” come to mind. It’s a little mean, granted, but we’re just relaying the facts here, people. Remember Chris Wilson? (If not, see “The most depraved…
JUKE TILL YOU PUKE …
Broadway’s Four Seasons memoir Jersey Boys is being hailed as the finest example yet of the jukebox musical, an increasingly popular from of stage entertainment in which songs by a specific recording artist are interwoven into a thin, often shamelessly contrived plot. Past examples have included tributes to Elvis, John Lennon and, of course, ABBA;…
LOSING IT
Lest I be accused of waging a War on Christmas by the pro-Christmas lobby – oh, whatever would I do if the all-powerful puckerbutts at the American Family Association called for a boycott of Savage Love? – I’m presenting a heartwarming selection of how-I-lost-my-virginity horror stories submitted by my readers. What do these stories have…
HOLIDAYPHILE
Not that I’m partial to thinking, but I’d like to think that if I were a thinky-winky, I would have enough potential pressure in my temple-bound fingers to mentally deposit myself at some event not involving faces-made-for-radio performing live for midsections-made-for-radio-listening, all splattered with gelatinous blobs of Dickensian guilt. But this, I suppose, is what…
WHERE’S MY PRESENT?
Yes, I give the Baby Jesus a hard time. And yes, one might say that, because of my continual flogging of Christians in this column, I have no right to celebrate Christmas – or for that matter, receive presents. Well, here’s my defense: Receiving presents is the “Santa” side of Christmas, while weeping and reading…
IN THE MEAT OF THE NIGHT
DEC. 12, 9:50 P.M.: Upon locking and securing a local restaurant in the 3200 block of Orange Center Boulevard, an employee headed home. A burglar or burglars had an eye on some foodstuffs within. This meat-swindling mission begins now. The first step was gaining access. To do this, the suspect or suspects used brawny strength…
HUMDINGER
British store owners seeking to drive away obnoxious, congregating teenagers have turned to security consultant Howard Stapleton’s recent invention, similar to a dog whistle, that emits a high-frequency sound audible to most teens but few older people. “The Mosquito” (it’s “small and annoying,” Stapleton told a New York Times reporter, who vouched that she couldn’t…
Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19) I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic item might inspire you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2006? And the answer is: “The Daughter of Jacob Meyer,” one of Vincent van Gogh’s first drawings. He did it when he was 27 years old.…
Letters
Boondoggle, part II Thanks for reporting on this boondoggle again `Happytown™, Dec. 15`, though your story contained a few inaccuracies. First, this project is known (by those “in the know”) as the “FLOP” (Federal/Livingston/Otey Place) RFP, not “Otey Place.” The word FLOP does not do this proposal justice. Second, it was not just “several members…
Spacebar, Chiodos, Lipizzaner Stallions and more
Thursday • 22 SPACEBAR There are many mysteries that we wrestle with, and one of the more pressing is this: Why isn’t Spacebar signed? To Geffen? In 1993? Seriously. These guys have a sound that instantly recalls the swooning, guitar-drenched alt-pop of the era, when bands like Sloan and Weezer figured out a way to…
Notable Noise
I got an excellent early Christmas present the other day. You see, I had been dropping these really heavy hints to my lovely wife about a present I wanted. By “heavy hints,” I mean e-mails that say “I want this for Christmas” and a link to the eBay item page. Problem is, I’m the one…
