Review – You’ve Been Spiked
Artist: Chris Joss
Movie: Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events
Our Rating: 3.50 Like Labyrinth or The Nightmare Before Christmas before it, this proudly grave kid-lit adaptation seems destined to disappoint at the box office but be remembered as a lifetime favorite by a few million Goths in training. The love of reading, a gift for invention and a handful of other brainiac attributes are…
Review – Greatest Hits
Artist: Brenda Fassie
Movie: Spanglish
Our Rating: 3.50 Clumsy but well-intended, James L. Brooks’ cross-cultural coming-of-age tale only occasionally succumbs to the slapstick impulses of garden-variety domestic dramedies. (Witness Téa Leoni’s mugging as a fitness-crazed überbitch). Most of the time, though, the emphasis is on informed compassion, with an English-deficient Mexican housekeeper (Paz Vega) fighting to slow her daughter’s assimilation…
FEEDING AT THE TROTH
Movie: A Very Long Engagement
FIXATION COMPLEX
Movie: Enduring Love
Movie: Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events
Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events Length: 1 hour, 53 minutes Studio: Paramount Pictures Website: http://www.unfortunateeventsmovie.com/intro.html Release Date: 2004-12-17 Cast: Jim Carrey, Meryl Streep, Emily Browning, Kara Hoffman, Liam Aiken Director: Brad Silberling Screenwriter: Robert Gordon WorkNameSort: Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events Our Rating: 3.50 Like Labyrinth or The Nightmare Before Christmas…
FEEDING AT THE TROTH
Movie: A Very Long Engagement
MATINEE IDLE
Movie: The Movie Hero
FIXATION COMPLEX
Movie: Enduring Love
THE BIRS AND THE ZZZZZ’S
Movie: Kinsey
Review – Three Imaginary Boys
Artist: The Cure
MATINEE IDLE
Movie: The Movie Hero
Movie: Blade: Trinity
Our Rating: 3.00 After penning two Blade opuses, David S. Goyer helms his own vampire-killer epic and cheerfully goes ADDA berserk. Wesley Snipes’ terse ‘n’ tattooed hero is now supplemented by a group of next-generation vamp hunters (including Jessica Biel’s wowza slayer and Ryan Reynolds’ obscenity-prone nerd/hunk). Those additions allow for much Buffy-style pop-cult quipping…
Review – You’ve Been Spiked
Artist: Chris Joss
Movie: Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events
Our Rating: 3.50 Like Labyrinth or The Nightmare Before Christmas before it, this proudly grave kid-lit adaptation seems destined to disappoint at the box office but be remembered as a lifetime favorite by a few million Goths in training. The love of reading, a gift for invention and a handful of other brainiac attributes are…
Review – Greatest Hits
Artist: Brenda Fassie
Movie: Spanglish
Our Rating: 3.50 Clumsy but well-intended, James L. Brooks’ cross-cultural coming-of-age tale only occasionally succumbs to the slapstick impulses of garden-variety domestic dramedies. (Witness Téa Leoni’s mugging as a fitness-crazed überbitch). Most of the time, though, the emphasis is on informed compassion, with an English-deficient Mexican housekeeper (Paz Vega) fighting to slow her daughter’s assimilation…
FEEDING AT THE TROTH
Movie: A Very Long Engagement
FIXATION COMPLEX
Movie: Enduring Love
THE BIRS AND THE ZZZZZ’S
Movie: Kinsey
MATINEE IDLE
Movie: The Movie Hero
Movie: Blade: Trinity
Our Rating: 3.00 After penning two Blade opuses, David S. Goyer helms his own vampire-killer epic and cheerfully goes ADDA berserk. Wesley Snipes’ terse ‘n’ tattooed hero is now supplemented by a group of next-generation vamp hunters (including Jessica Biel’s wowza slayer and Ryan Reynolds’ obscenity-prone nerd/hunk). Those additions allow for much Buffy-style pop-cult quipping…
FEEDING AT THE TROTH
Movie: A Very Long Engagement
Movie: Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events
Our Rating: 3.50 Like Labyrinth or The Nightmare Before Christmas before it, this proudly grave kid-lit adaptation seems destined to disappoint at the box office but be remembered as a lifetime favorite by a few million Goths in training. The love of reading, a gift for invention and a handful of other brainiac attributes are…
THE BIRS AND THE ZZZZZ’S
Movie: Kinsey
Movie: Spanglish
Our Rating: 3.50 Clumsy but well-intended, James L. Brooks’ cross-cultural coming-of-age tale only occasionally succumbs to the slapstick impulses of garden-variety domestic dramedies. (Witness Téa Leoni’s mugging as a fitness-crazed überbitch). Most of the time, though, the emphasis is on informed compassion, with an English-deficient Mexican housekeeper (Paz Vega) fighting to slow her daughter’s assimilation…
Movie: Blade: Trinity
Our Rating: 3.00 After penning two Blade opuses, David S. Goyer helms his own vampire-killer epic and cheerfully goes ADDA berserk. Wesley Snipes’ terse ‘n’ tattooed hero is now supplemented by a group of next-generation vamp hunters (including Jessica Biel’s wowza slayer and Ryan Reynolds’ obscenity-prone nerd/hunk). Those additions allow for much Buffy-style pop-cult quipping…
FIXATION COMPLEX
Movie: Enduring Love
Review – Three Imaginary Boys
Artist: The Cure
MATINEE IDLE
Movie: The Movie Hero
Review – You’ve Been Spiked
Artist: Chris Joss
Review – Three Imaginary Boys
Artist: The Cure
Review – Greatest Hits
Artist: Brenda Fassie
CHEEKY CLEAN
Cleaning in your underwear isn’t glamorous work. But if you’re a gorgeous blond college student, you can make a fistful of cash doing it. University of Central Florida students Stephanie Rue, 21, Hilary Plamondon, 20, and Jessica Stevenson, 21, are living proof. Calling themselves the “Three Hot Maids,” the girls have made a successful career…
SOLDIER’S HEART
The first time Kristin Peterson’s husband hit her, she was asleep in their bed. She awoke that night a split second after Joshua’s fist smashed into her face and ran, terrified and crying, to the bathroom to wipe away the blood spurting from her nose. When she stuck her head back into the bedroom, there…
SPLIT DECISION
The one thing that has been consistently correct in the excessive media speculation about Howard Stern’s move to Sirius’ satellite radio service is this: Radio will never be the same, simply because Stern will bring legitimacy – and thousands of subscribers – to satellite radio. We all know that terrestrial radio is a cesspool of…
CONFECTIONS OF A MAD WOMAN
Give me cases of chocolates over diamonds, luxury cars and snappy electronics any day! I’d rather spend $40 on a box of well-crafted chocolate than $40,000 on a Mercedes-Benz. Confections may not be essential to existence, but they are, in my opinion, synonymous with a life of true happiness. What’s better than a perfect cup…
CONFECTIONS OF A MAD WOMAN
Give me cases of chocolates over diamonds, luxury cars and snappy electronics any day! I’d rather spend $40 on a box of well-crafted chocolate than $40,000 on a Mercedes-Benz. Confections may not be essential to existence, but they are, in my opinion, synonymous with a life of true happiness. What’s better than a perfect cup…
We go partying downtown with Buddy and the devil .. er Dave Weldon, Jr.
Buddy Dyer doesn’t like to talk about extending drinking hours downtown, the one issue his downtown supporters, and his own Downtown Strategic Transition Team, urged him to take up. But this year, just like every year for as long as we can remember, the city council wants you to get really shitfaced on amateur night,…
REVISIONIST THEOLOGY
DEREK AND THE DOMINOSLayla (Polydor SACD) ERIC CLAPTON461 Ocean Boulevard(Polydor) One of my favorite examples of “Engrish” was the cover of a gray-market Asian CD single I saw by world-famous guitarist “Eric Crapton.” The craptacularly mediocre output that the one-time guitar deity has been responsible for since the mid-’70s has all but obscured the fine…
GOT JUICE?
Hold on to your hats, sports fans. A shocking revelation was dropped on us a few weeks ago: Barry Bonds may have used steroids. I know, I know. You’re as flabbergasted as I am. Just like you, I thought Barry’s physique went from Dave Chappelle-like to hulking behemoth in a few years due to exercise.…
Grand Buffet/Whole Wheat Bread, New Lows, Appetite for Destruction and more
Thursday • 16 HOLIDAY TRIPLE TREAT Attend the seasonal variety show that the Orlando Ballet has christened “Holiday Triple Treat,” and you’ll be getting in on the ground floor of the company’s drive to find a viable alternative to its traditional staging of The Nutcracker. In 2005, the arrival of the Radio City Music Hall…
“Sensei and sensibility”
I’ve been thinking a lot these days about the concept of succession. First the Disney stockholders got up in arms that Michael Eisner wasn’t grooming anyone to take over for him one day; then Dan Rather was accused of the same oversight. That made me wonder if it wasn’t time to search out someone to…
BALLS OF SPITFIRE
Morning has broken, and apparently so have I. “Pull down your pants,” flirts my doctor, squatting to eye level with my special place, my secret garden, my milkweed. “Buy me a drink and tell me that you love me,” I mutter to myself, duly dropping trou in the interest of medical science and a good…
STAR-KISSED CASSEROLE
One big issue with small-town living is the meager group of people available for blame. It’s hard to grouse about city hall when there ain’t one. Still, word gets out quick when things go wrong, whether via the local 275-watt AM station or the town gossips (that’s everyone). More than enough happens to keep tongues…
VIDEO BASEHEAD
Life sucks, ya know? And I ain’t talking those moments when it forces you to get your knees dirty. It’s the ever-widening chasm between what you wanted for yourself and the reality that stares back at you from the bathroom mirror. How do you bridge that? Sex and drugs are too pricey. Fortunately, the fine…
