GOING TO SEA
The most embarrassing question this restaurant reviewer regularly fields is “Where can I get good seafood in Orlando?” Lee & Rick’s Oyster Bar has good oysters, I always answer, somewhat lamely. The truth is, it takes only a short search to find places serving worthy Gulf oysters, fried grouper sandwiches and the like. But when…
OTHERWORDLY BROTHERS
Lillian Label: Anticon Rated: NONE WorkNameSort: Lillian In a long line of collaborators ranging from Atmosphere’s Slug to members of The Notwist, Alias’ endless inquiries into the perfect beat recipe and his rigorous quest toward musical growth has peaked again, and this time it’s with an artist that few have heard of. The Oakland-based producer…
The Waltz: Ecstasy and Mysticism
The Waltz: Ecstasy and Mysticism Label: Archiv Rated: NONE WorkNameSort: Waltz: Ecstasy and Mysticism, The The idea that Western classical music exists in some exquisite cultural vacuum is again put to the lie by this second collaboration between Germany’s Concerto Köln and Turkish ensemble Sarband. Blurring the line between the 3/4 time signatures of European…
Third World Genocide
Third World Genocide Label: SPV Rated: NONE WorkNameSort: Third World Genocide Back in the ’80s, Nuclear Assault was one of the most unusual and engaging bands in the thrash-metal scene. Maybe it was their New York roots, maybe it was bassist Dan Lilker’s ability to smoke copious amounts of pot. Whatever the case, Game Over,…
Lunapark 0, 10
Lunapark 0, 10 Label: Sub Rosa Rated: NONE WorkNameSort: Lunapark 0, 10 The appeal of a compilation of avant-garde spoken word – half of which is in languages you don’t understand, the other half simply incomprehensible – would seem to be limited. And, truly, Lunapark 0, 10 (a 1999 album just reissued in the United…
Murderball
Murderball Studio: ThinkFilm Rated: R Website: http://www.murderballmovie.com/ Release Date: 2005-08-26 Cast: Mark Zupan, Joe Soares, Keith Cavill Director: Henry Alex Rubin, Dana Adam Shapiro Screenwriter: Dana Adam Shapiro WorkNameSort: Murderball Our Rating: 4.00 The can’t-believe-I’m-seeing-it school of shock documentary scores a fresh victory in this vibrant exposé of quad rugby, formerly known as murderball and…
The Brothers Grimm
The Brothers Grimm Studio: Dimension Films Rated: PG-13 Website: http://miramax.com/thebrothersgrimm/ Release Date: 2005-08-26 Cast: Matt Damon, Heath Ledger, Monica Bellucci, Jonathan Pryce, Lena Headey Director: Terry Gilliam Screenwriter: Ehren Kruger Music Score: Dario Marinelli WorkNameSort: Brothers Grimm, The Our Rating: 2.50 Terry Gilliam used to be like the funniest guy in anybody’s European History class;…
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
The 40-Year-Old Virgin Studio: Universal Pictures Rated: R Website: http://www.the40yearoldvirgin.com/ Release Date: 2005-08-26 Cast: Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd, Romany Malco, Seth Rogen Director: Judd Apatow Screenwriter: Judd Apatow, Steve Carell WorkNameSort: 40-Year-Old Virgin, The Our Rating: 4.00 Blame obsessive re-editing for the glaring narrative gaps in this otherwise sterling sex comedy, which has…
Red Eye
Red Eye Studio: Dreamworks SKG Rated: PG-13 Website: http://www.redeye-themovie.com/ Release Date: 2005-08-26 Cast: Rachel McAdams, Cillian Murphy, Brian Cox, Jack Scalia, Jayma Mays Director: Wes Craven Screenwriter: Carl Ellsworth WorkNameSort: Red Eye Our Rating: 2.50 Summer MVPs Cillian Murphy (Batman Begins) and Rachel McAdams (Wedding Crashers) go head-to-head in Wes Craven’s semi-suspenseful exercise in commuter…
THAT THING YOU DO AGAIN
November Studio: Sony Pictures Classics Rated: R Website: http://www.sonyclassics.com/november/ Release Date: 2005-08-26 Cast: Courteney Cox-Arquette, Matthew Carey, Brittany Ishibashi, Nick Offerman, Amir Talai Director: Greg Harrison Screenwriter: Benjamin Brand Music Score: Lew Baldwin WorkNameSort: November Our Rating: 3.50 There’s a lot to learn from a movie like November. One is that Courteney Cox in eyeglasses…
PRANKS FOR THE MEMORIES
Abel Raises Cain Studio: Crashcourse Documentaries Rated: NOT RATED Website: http://www.abelraisescain.com/ Release Date: 2005-08-26 Cast: Alan Abel, Jeanne Abel, Lee Chirillo, Frank Murgalo, Paul Hiatt Director: Jenny Abel, Jeff Hockett Screenwriter: Jenny Abel, Jeff Hockett Music Score: Alan Abel WorkNameSort: Abel Raises Cain Our Rating: 3.50 Alan Abel has been a fixture on TV for…
CHUG-A-LUG CHOCOLATE
For the people who know me, it is no secret that I love chocolate, but they don’t realize the extent of my affliction. I was spawned by ravenous chocoholics. My father has been known to get up in the middle of the night and drive himself several miles to get his favorite Cadbury bar. When…
EX-DRAG QUEEN
I’m a smoker who has decided it’s time to quit. But my boyfriend has a smoking fetish. He likes it when I smoke while we’re having sex; he likes to jerk off and watch me smoke; he likes me to smoke and give him oral sex at the same time. His porn collection is all…
ANGRY CHAIRS
Released this summer to a burst of critical and PR fanfare, the kinetic sports documentary Murderball – a group profile of rough-and-tough quadriplegics who play rugby in reinforced wheelchairs – has faced a surprising struggle at the box office. Disability, it seems, is still a hard sell, even to art-house audiences on the prowl for…
NOT IN MY CITY
Go buy an Orlando metro-area map. Pick the Rand McNally; it’s fairly comprehensive and costs $5. Open the map and find Winter Park. Dig out your ruler and grab your kid’s compass – the one with the little yellow pencil on one end and the point he menaces his classmates with on the other. Whip…
Happytown
From time to time, your friends at Happytown™ like to take a break from chronicling the scandals, imbroglios and peccadilloes of life in The City Beautiful, and reflect on the good, the positive, the triumph of the human spirit. We’ll call this semi-regular feature (which begins right now) “Reasons Orlando Does Not Suck as Bad…
UP ON THE ROOF, DOWN TO JAIL
AUG. 14, 11:34 P.M.: A scrawny 74-year-old man, probably undernourished, was hungry. He happened to be downtown in the 600 block of North Orange Avenue when he spotted a local submarine sandwich shop and decided to do something crazy. He somehow scaled the shop’s walls until he stood proud and tall atop its roof, perhaps…
WHO’S AFRAID OF FAÇADE
I’m watching an argument between a husband and wife, Grace and Trip, and it’s turning into a real marriage-ender – a knock-down, drag-out, every-harsh-secret-revealed battle. As the vitriol flies, I’m realizing that I should find a way to stop this. And I’m about to, except that it turns out I can’t just shoot them! What…
FOR THE CHUG-A-LUG OF CHOCOLATE
For the people who know me, it is no secret that I love chocolate, but they don’t realize the extent of my affliction. I was spawned by ravenous chocoholics. My father has been known to get up in the middle of the night and drive himself several miles to get his favorite Cadbury bar. When…
SCARED STRAIGHT-ISH
Television just looooves making a big honking deal out of prison –like it’s the worst thing in the world or something! HBO’s Oz portrayed prison life as a trip through Satan’s porno collection, with rapes, beatings and murders happening with alarming regularity. But I’m here to tell all the kids who read my column: Prison…
MULLET IN THE TREETOPS
She’s a brute of a reptile, as large as my kayak, and she’s up on all four legs, running toward me like a giant lumbering dog. I’m wedged into the cockpit of my small craft, its bow grounded on the mud bank at the edge of her bulrush hide-away. I’m holding my paddle in a…
STAYIN’ ALIVE
While I would like to say that I remember the ’70s as some sort of liberating swirl of flared pants and blared psychedelia, the only real Grape-Nuts that stick to my frontal lobes are some fond memories of plaid, 6-year-old photo-day pants and a Bee Gees Casio that played rhumba beats behind preprogrammed squeaks of…
Notable Noise
In one of the more beautiful ironies of the week, I saw Winter Park cops hassling black guys on bikes. OK, maybe it isn’t that unusual. There was no police brutality or even harassment, just a hardness to the officers’ stare and a bizarre readiness to make sure the gentlemen kept moving along so as…
BUBBA SOUL
Fans of former President Bill Clinton will soon be able to enjoy some of his favorite recordings in the comfort of their own homes. The Bill Clinton Collection: Selections From the Clinton Music Room, the first of several planned albums, tilts toward such jazz classics as John Coltrane’s “My One and Only Love,” Miles Davis’…
GIRLS ON FILM
There’s a Suicide Girl weeping in the back of the van on the way to yet another venue. She’s just gotten off the phone with her boyfriend, and he was none too happy about the fact that she had been engaging in a fair amount of extracurricular sexual activity while out on the road. She…
PEACE AT A PRICE
In July, film director David Lynch announced that he had formed a foundation to raise $7 billion to fund 8,000 Transcendental Meditation practitioners to bring world peace by creating a “unified field” of stress-free brain waves over the Earth (which TM’ers accomplish, as they unironically describe it, by detaching their minds from the “thinking process”).…
Letters
No utopia Thank you for your article on public schools `”Defending public schools,” Aug. 11`. I have first- and third-graders who are in public school for the first time this year. They previously went to a country club-sounding school. I felt privileged at the time and felt like I was giving my kids the best…
Rob Brezny’s Free Will Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19) Minnesota radio station KNUJ came up with a unique proposal for how the governor and top legislators could deal with their intractable conflict: They would have a wrestling match in a large vat filled with sauerkraut. I think you should adopt this idea for your own use – though I suggest…
