Akeelah and the Bee
Akeelah and the Bee Studio: Lions Gate Films Rated: PG Cast: Laurence Fishburne, Angela Bassett, Keke Palmer Director: Doug Atchinson Screenwriter: Doug Atchinson WorkNameSort: Akeelah and the Bee Our Rating: 4.00 Has cinema gotten nerdier? In the wake of Spellbound, Word Wars, Proof, Bee Season and Wordplay comes Akeelah and the Bee, about an 11-year-old…
Hard Candy
Hard Candy Studio: Lions Gate Releasing Rated: R Cast: Ellen Page, Patrick Wilson Director: David Slade Screenwriter: Brian Nelson WorkNameSort: Hard Candy Our Rating: 3.00 As seen at the recent Florida Film Festival, director David Slade’s provocative psychodrama has a grabber of a setup that indicates a new Todd Solondz may have arrived. A 32-year-old…
RV
RV Studio: Sony Pictures Rated: PG Cast: Robin Williams, Cheryl Hines, Jeff Daniels Director: Barry Sonnenfeld Screenwriter: Geoff Redkey WorkNameSort: RV Our Rating: 2.50 The prerelease trailer foretold a pleasant throwback to the National Lampoon’s Vacation movies; little did we all realize it’d be a Vacation that stupidly expects us to care for its characters.…
Kingdom Hearts 2
‘KINGDOM’ COME
MOURNING IN AMERICA
United 93 Studio: Universal Rated: R Cast: Ben Sliney, Opal Alladin, Erich Redman Director: Paul Greengrass Screenwriter: Paul Greengrass WorkNameSort: United 93 Our Rating: 5.00 One hundred and eleven minutes: That’s all the time it takes for a movie to go from indefensible to indispensable. But until you’ve lived those minutes, you’re entirely excused for…
NO PARKING ON THE DANCE FLOOR
Marilyn Hotchkiss’ Ballroom Dancing & Charm School Studio: Samuel Goldwyn Rated: PG-13 Cast: Marisa Tomei, Robert Carlyle, John Goodman, Sean Astin, Mary Steenburgen Director: Randall M. Miller Screenwriter: Randall M. Miller, Jody Savin WorkNameSort: Marilyn Hotchkiss’ Ballroom Dancing & Charm School Our Rating: 1.50 The movies sure have a funny idea of what it means…
BAG OF TRICKS
Hefty Digest History is Bunk: Collaborations, Reinterpretations, and New Compositions Label: Hefty Length: LP Rated: NONE Media: CD Format: Compilation WorkNameSort: Hefty Digest History is Bunk: Collaborations, Reinterpretations, and New Compositions Ten years of experimental electronic music calls for a celebration that shouldn’t be without bottle rockets and Less Than Zero depravity, but a bulky…
MISPLACED AGGRESSION
Pearl Jam Label: Monkey Wrench Length: LP Rated: NONE Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Pearl Jam Pearl Jam have had more drummers than Spinal Tap, yet their problem has remained the same. Egghead critics might describe it as the ‘sound of reluctanceâ?� or ‘moral ambivalence,â?� but in plain Beavis and Butthead’speak, they never consistently ‘rock.â?�…
Conference of the Birds
Conference of the Birds Label: Holy Mountain Length: LP Rated: NONE Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Conference of the Birds Om vocalist/bassist Al Cisneros has what I like to call a ‘rationalâ?� metal singing style. Not damned, vengeful, enraged, throat-shredding or whatever. It’s just chanting ‘ reasonably and measuredly ‘ through reams of unparsable doggerel…
Nogatco Rd.
Nogatco Rd. Label: Insomniac Length: LP Rated: NONE Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Nogatco Rd. In 1996, Kool Keith pioneered an underground hip-hop movement with Dr. Octagonecologyst, a strange concept album by his alter ego (Dr. Octagon) that satisfied many listeners’ then-unmet needs for nonsensical, free-associative lyrics, sampled dialogue from old sci-fi films and bleeping…
Overproof
Overproof Label: Traffic Entertainment Length: LP Rated: NONE Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: Overproof They say patience is the companion of wisdom, but the scenic route this album took to hit stores was beginning to look plain stupid. The L.A. duo of Substance Abuse has been whispered about for years now, and with the original…
After the Rain
After the Rain Label: Rounder Length: LP Rated: NONE Media: CD Format: Album WorkNameSort: After the Rain There are no heart-tugging post-Katrina ballads on the official Soul Queen of New Orleans’ latest solo album. She adds a few alluding words to the traditional blues ‘Another Man Done Gone,â?� but there’s not a trace of self-pity…
LETTERS
Yeah, what he said Plain Jane Automobile: Are you pretending to be as stupid as your letter to the Orlando Weekly `Letters, April 6` and thus suckle on absolute commercialism? Or is it that you feel that your groins have been pulled in the wrong way and thus have to piddle your puddle diaper rash…
I Love Television
Waitasecond … did you just say a dirty word? Oh, yes you did! In fact, I’d bet a quarter of my testicles that, within the last 10 minutes, you’ve either uttered or thought a dirty word. (Especially if you’ve spent the last 10 minutes reading this admittedly infuriating newspaper.) I’m not judging … I’ve been…
HAPPYTOWNâ?¢
Know what the world needs? More places for the kids to hang out naked. That’s been the Happytown™ philosophy for years, and finally someone else agrees. Cypress Cove Nudist Resort and Spa sent us an eye-opening press release headlined “See More of Your Friends at Cypress Cove Resort.” Yeah. It’s for “Club Night,” which will…
BE OUR GUEST
With the Congressional midterm elections seven months away, immigration is already shaping up to be one of the most hotly contested issues. Particularly controversial is the concept of the “guest worker,” which some folks say rewards illegal behavior but others call a necessary adjustment to a real-world problem. You know, like the morning-after pill. It’s…
Blister
“I think you should wear the cowboy hat that I just bought for you.” “No.” “I’m the man of the house, and I say that you’re wearing the cowboy hat. I’m the leader of this pack. End of discussion.” Given no context, you might expect that I’d be waxing Farrah right about now and burning…
Free Will Astrology
ARIES Let’s put your salary in perspective. If you earn more than $2,182 per year, you’re wealthier than 85 percent of the world’s population, according to www.GlobalRichList.com. Even though you’re pretty well-off, however, I’m going to dare you to ask for more. The omens suggest that you will attract benefactors and drum up cosmic support…
ALEXANDRA NECHITA, COL. BRUCE HAMPTON AND THE CODE TALKERS, FESTIVAL OF FISH AND FLOWERS, AND MORE…
Friday•28 Alexandra Nechita There’s no sin in hating child prodigies. They’re genetic and behavioral anomalies, they get as much PR as any seven adults of comparable ability, and they’re walking reminders of everything you’d like to attain in life but haven’t. (And, in all probability, won’t.) But please maintain a reserve of untainted goodwill for…
NOTABLE NOISE
Man, I am old. It’s a reality that I’ve wrestled with for a while, but this past weekend, I realized it’s true. However, what brought this epiphany on was not what you might expect. I was old-man achy after a Saturday morning workout, and I ended up falling asleep in front of a movie on…
LOVE ON THE LYNX
A few months back, in my semi-regular feature, “Diary of a LYNX Rider,” I posed a question to the ladies of Orlando: Would any self-respecting female go out with a LYNX rider, on the LYNX bus, from start to finish? I didn’t think so, really. Riding the bus in Orlando has a stigma. No one…
UNSAFE AT HOME
I once heard a nonfan make a compelling argument that baseball is the most boring game on Earth. “The only time something exciting happens,” he said, “it’s because somebody made a mistake.” Fortunately for those of us who appreciate high drama, in baseball as in life, somebody always makes a mistake. Figuring out just who…
A CALL TO ACTION
When it comes to taking care of people who do not have shelter or food, we are bona fide meanies. That’s an official designation from the National Coalition for the Homeless; according to its 2004 report, Florida is the second meanest state to its homeless population. Best known for its hospitality industry and theme parks,…
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO MABLE BUTLER
Not many people step out of their house onto a street named for them. Mable Butler does; the city so honored her in 1994. Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, Butler brought her unique brand of politicking to both the Orlando city council and the Orange County commission. And by “unique brand of politicking,” I mean…
Savage Love
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over four years. I love him more than I thought possible. I’m a bi woman, he’s a straight man. I don’t mind who he sleeps with, he doesn’t mind who I sleep with. (Provided, of course, that we use proper protection at all times.) Not…
POLICE BEAT
April 15, 2:17 a.m.: Question: Would you call the police if someone stole your drugs? Some people would. Officer Capece responded to the 100 block of Ernestine Street in reference to a home invasion. His report reads, “Upon my arrival, I met with the victim … who provided a verbal statement but refused to provided…
News of the Weird
Smoking: Bad for health In February, the cigarette of a 46-year-old woman in Parkersburg, W. Va., accidentally set fire to her long hair, and she later died at the West Penn Burn Center in Pittsburgh, Pa. Also in February, Dennis Crouch, 53, who had earlier chased his wife with a knife during an argument in…
