Now that October is here, we're finally catching up on Orlando's spooky season traditions

Halloween hot takes

The lines go ever longer for Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Orlando
The lines go ever longer for Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Orlando photo by Seth Kubersky

Our attractions critic is back in town, catching up on Orlando's spooky season traditions.

Central Florida's ever-expanding Halloween season, which kicked off in August, has already endured a heat wave and hurricane before hitting the halfway point. Now that October has actually arrived, I'm finally catching up on Orlando's spooky season traditions, but be forewarned: After my eye-opening recent visit to haunts in California and Japan, my hot takes on some local favorites might seem ice cold.

Halloween Horror Nights 33 at Universal Orlando:

Universal Studios Japan's Halloween Horror Nights has only one haunted house, along with multiple live shows (which are immersive in the both the theatrical and baptismal senses), and scare zones that are more like zombie fashion shows, all included during regular park hours for no extra charge. It's a bizarro mirror-universe reversal of how Universal Studios Florida's event operates, but after experiencing both back-to-back, I believe Osaka's method has merit.

For a decade, I've determinedly demonstrated despite ever-escalating attendance that you can experience all 10 haunted houses plus the live shows at Orlando's HHN in one off-peak evening without purchasing Express passes or an RIP tour. I was successful again this year, but just barely — and the exhausting effort made me question whether it's time to adjust my expectations, or just abandon Horror Nights to the teens.

Stay & Scream early entry was once my secret weapon for getting a jump on the crowds, but the word is definitely out. The queue to check into the New York holding area stretched nearly to USF's entrance when I joined it at 3:15 p.m. on a Wednesday, and by the time I entered my first haunted house over two hours later, I'd already seen a guest directly ahead of me keel over from the heat. Whereas in previous years I'd been able to knock out the majority of the event's mazes by 8 p.m., this time I was lucky to finish four before then, and needed until nearly 2 a.m. to complete them all.

Universal's scenic creations are awe-inspiring as always, but after waiting 30 minutes, 60 minutes or more for almost every maze, I felt like the strain of producing Halloween on the heels of the recent new land and shows — not to mention the upcoming Epic Universe — may be starting to show. Of the original houses, I especially appreciated the goofy variety and guest-activated triggers in Major Sweets Candy Factory, the deep-cut grindhouse gags in Slaughter Sinema 2 and the aggressively gratuitous gore of Triplets of Terror.

However, aside from the nightmare-inducing Insidious, the IP houses were largely letdowns. Much like the movie, Ghostbusters Frozen Empire is full of fan-service callbacks, but isn't particularly funny nor scary; and Eternal Bloodlines is their least effective Universal Monsters maze yet. Finally, the much-hyped A Quiet Place's most memorable moment is a simple nail sticking out of stairs (IYKYK), but I'm disappointed it doesn't employ more actual silence, instead of being an aural assault like every other haunt.

Speaking of which, this year's Nightmare Fuel made my Apple Watch's decibel meter cry out in terror, but Nocturnal Circus was exactly the refueling both I and the show needed. A stronger story integrates fresh illusions with dynamite dancing and amped-up acrobatics — including some high-flying stunts I've never seen before — in my favorite version to date of this pyro-packed production.

The capacity crowd around me appeared to agree, demonstrating that, in lieu of adding more mazes or restricting ticket sales, Universal at least needs several more shows (Animal Actors and the lagoon are dormant) and attractions (Transformers and Simpsons were closed) to absorb Halloween crowds. Otherwise, I may need to either dig up the dough for Express passes, or drink at CityWalk's Dead Coconut Club until the queues diminish after midnight.

click to enlarge Peter Vargas in 'Nosferatu' at the Ren - photo by Jake Pearce
photo by Jake Pearce
Peter Vargas in 'Nosferatu' at the Ren

Nosferatu at Renaissance Theatre:

Through three previous editions, writer-director Donald Rupe has honed the formula for his annual vampire soirees, which have integrated scripted theater with Sleep No More-style immersion and a casual cabaret in varying proportions. Fourth time seems to be the charm, because "Nos4atu" balances its formats by giving audiences three experiences to chose from.

The night begins with "The Choosing," an intense 45-minute stage musical that jumps between Grand Guignol vampiric vignettes and erotic production numbers powered by Matt Lynx's live music. That opening act is followed by "The Wandering," roughly two and a half hours of free-form exploration amid a vintage diner, a cabin in the woods and various other eerie environments created by designer Philip Lupo and a team of artists. I enjoyed a too-close-for-comfort education in cranial fractures from actor David Lowe, and witnessed intimate moments with Blake Auburn and Adonis Mabry, among others.

Departing just after Risa Risque launched the evening's "V-Bar" nightclub after-party, I felt less FOMO than I did after previous years, and I was more impressed than ever with the Ren's high-flying production values. However, I was confused about the narrative continuity between the first and second sections and wished the latter concluded with a cathartic denouement, rather than simply a curtain call. Finally, the theater's bass-heavy sound system and meat-locker air conditioning could wake the dead and keep them from decomposing, so I'll wear a parka and bring earplugs when I return in '25 for version V.

Gothic Seas: Fathoms of Intoxicating Fortune from New Generation Theatrical:

The latest of writer-director Michael Knight's alcohol-soaked spoofs will already have cast off from The Abbey and set sail by the time you're reading this, so I won't expend much cannon fire sinking Gothic Seas beyond saying it failed to equal Gothic Manor's and Gothic Tavern's potency in either cocktails or comedy. The always-entertaining Brandon Roberts led a cast with multiple understudies when I attended, and all did their best making the snarky, self-aware script sound snappy. But the paper-thin pirate parody plot felt unnecessarily padded and as awkwardly paced as the drink service.

I still adore this idea, so hopefully NGT will mix up something more intoxicating to imbibe next time.


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