This is my 18th holiday season covering arts and attractions for Orlando Weekly, and since 18 (or “chai”) is an important symbol in Hebrew numerology, I was inspired to look back at one of my earliest columns from 2006 about being, in the immortal words of Kyle Broflovski, a “lonely Jew on Christmas.” Although it brought a nostalgic tear to my eye rereading blurbs about much-missed Yuletide traditions like Theatre Downtown’s Christmas Carol and Disney’s Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights, my old musings about secular assimilation seem sadly naive in light of this past year’s events.
For starters, the me of 2006 could never have imagined that literal Nazis would be regularly rallying against Jews — and for Florida’s governor — on Disney’s doorstep. As well, the horrific ongoing violence in Gaza has unleashed unprecedented online antisemitism, which affects even those of us who strongly believe that Netanyahu and his ultra-nationalist supporters have more in common with Hamas militants than either of them does with the moderate majority of Israelis and Palestinians who only want to live in peace.
My Hanukkah wish would be that a great miracle would happen there, and (at the risk of enraging some of my Israeli relatives) that every single person from the river to the sea would receive security, justice and freedom. But because I realistically know that I’m much more likely to find socks and underwear beside my menorah this weekend, I’m going to attempt to set global politics aside, and instead unwrap some Festival of Lights offerings for fellow members of the tribe and their friends.
The next couple of weeks, before Christmas crowds arrive, are an ideal time to visit Orlando’s theme parks, thanks to shorter queues and cooler weather. You won’t find many Hanukkah acknowledgments inside Universal Orlando’s theme parks, but sunset menorah-lighting ceremonies are held at all the onsite Loews hotels. SeaWorld also lights a menorah in Sesame Street Land; I’m sure Mr. Hooper would have approved.
On the other hand, Walt Disney World has outdone itself this year by stocking their theme park stores with an updated array of Hanukkah tchotchkes that had normally-frugal me reaching for the Merchandise Mobile checkout feature in Disney’s smartphone app. (It’s way quicker than waiting in line for an overwhelmed cashier.) In past years, Jewish Disney fans had to settle for some blue plates or napkins, but this Hanukkah there are more than enough options for eight nights, ranging from mouse ears and stuffed Mickeys with menorahs to trendy backpacks and T-shirts with Minnie and Daisy saying “I Love You a Latke.” Even the nosh has been upped a notch, with kosher Belgian truffles being sold alongside Disney-branded shortbread cookies and gelt (gold foil-wrapped chocolate coins).
You’ll find these items for sale in the main gift shops near the front of all four Disney parks, including the Magic Kingdom, which recently unveiled the long-anticipated Hatbox Ghost animatronic inside the Haunted Mansion. (My hot take: The figure’s animation is amazing, but his position near the beginning at the “endless hallway” — instead of in the attic, where he belongs — is awkward.) But the best place at Disney to celebrate Hanukkah is EPCOT, thanks to the Hebraic micro-pavilion that’s been established for the International Festival of the Holidays on the boundary between Morocco and France. Sadly, they haven’t re-created the Jerusalem simulator ride from the short-lived Millennium Pavilion, but this area does offer the three things essential to any Hanukkah observance: a massive menorah, music, and most importantly, food.
This years “L’Chaim” holiday kitchen (previously the Food & Wine Festival’s Brazil booth) serves up fried potato latkes, with or without smoked salmon, as well as a warm pastrami on rye. I was given pause by the half-sandwich’s price until I realized it was still cheaper than TooJay’s, and the accompanying dill pickle was on point. The frosting on my black & white cookie was disappointingly gooey, so I drowned my sorrows in a frozen whiskey sour topped with Manischewitz wine, which is was definitely not its originally intended purpose.
Make sure you grab your grub in time for a front-row view of “Zachary the Hanukkah Storyteller,” EPCOT’s solo mini-musical honoring the holiday. I was lucky enough to catch local actor Adam DelMedico — who fronted a Critics’ Choice Award-winning pop-punk musical at last May’s Fringe Festival — strumming his guitar to “Hava Nagila” with the same passion as if it were Green Day. I especially appreciate how this little production goes beyond playing the holiday’s greatest hits and includes lesser-known Sephardic traditions as well.
Finally, if you’re looking for something to do after lighting the fourth candle this Sunday night, may I suggest Natalie Doliner’s “Oy to the World” cabaret at Savoy? “I just got to wondering why, with so many wonderful Jewish composers, there weren’t more (OK, any) good Hanukkah songs,” Doliner tells me. “I started doing research and fell down a rabbit hole. Maybe the reason is because they were busy writing ALL the good Christmas songs.”
Alongside pianist Ned Wilkinson and secret guest stars, she’s singing some of the 75-plus classic Christmas tunes — from “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” to “Santa Baby” — that you probably never knew were written by Jewish songwriters. Whamageddon warning: George Michael was technically Jewish through his maternal grandmother!
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This article appears in Dec 6-12, 2023.