Jan 11-17, 2006

Jan 11-17, 2006 / Vol. 22 / No. 2

Last Holiday

Last Holiday Studio: Paramount Pictures Rated: PG-13 Website: http://www.lastholidaymovie.com/ Release Date: 2006-01-13 Cast: Queen Latifah, Alicia Witt, LL Cool J , Giancarlo Esposito, Gerard Depardieu Director: Wayne Wang Screenwriter: Peter Seaman, Jeffrey Price, J. B. Priestly, Tim Korn, Callie Khouri, Marc Hyman, Martin Starger Music Score: George Fenton WorkNameSort: Last Holiday Our Rating: 2.00 In…

Amber

Amber Label: Domino Rated: NONE WorkNameSort: Amber For their third album, Brighton, England’s Clearlake continue to plumb hypnotic Krautrock rhythms, ethereal Brit keyboards, somber Icelandic buzzes and modestly explosive power pop. The title track emulates the snow-capped nothingness of Nico’s The Marble Index with its weightless viola-sawing, while “Good Clean Fun” humps and bumps like…

Firewater

Firewater Label: Waxploitation/Koch Rated: NONE WorkNameSort: Firewater There are two sides to West Coast rap trio Tha Alkaholiks: party-jam maestros and widely respected veterans. The group itself has only acknowledged the former throughout their careers, but the indulgent, ethanol-drenched subgenres out of Atlanta and Houston can trace their very existence to the groundwork laid down…

House Arrest

House Arrest Label: Paw Tracks Rated: NONE WorkNameSort: House Arrest While the Paw Tracks-sponsored parade of Ariel “Pink” Rosenberg reissues is swiftly becoming tiresome, the delirious pop thirst-quench of the prolific, no-fi maniac’s music can’t be heralded enough. House Arrest is all golden, from the radioactive Herman’s-Hermits-gone-Motown glow of “Helen” to the nursery-rhyme sunshine glee…

One

One Label: Hellbound Rated: NONE WorkNameSort: One Chockful of thrash riffs, double-bass madness and gasoline vocals, One offers what a standout metal album should – no-frills thrash with a wallop. The album never lets up, going for the jugular right from first track “Repentagram,” with its hardcore stylings and Slayer-influenced guitar licks. Offerings like “Perfection…

A TASTEFULLY TENDED GARDEN

This probably says it all: Every time I think about Viet Garden, I have an urge to ring in a to-go order for garden rolls. It’s a compulsion – a deep-seated one. Back in 1999 when Orlando Weekly last reviewed Viet Garden, I was working a summer job down the street from the Colonial Drive…

THE KEY TO SALVATION

Do You Love Me Like You Say: The Very Best of Terence Trent D’Arby Label: Columbia/Legacy Rated: NONE WorkNameSort: Do You Love Me Like You Say: The Very Best of Terence Trent D’Arby It all seemed so amazing, almost seismic in its high-hat-and-stammer glamour. Terence Trent D’Arby burst onto the scene in 1987, braids slapping…

THE INHUMAN STAIN

The Untold Story of Emmett Louis Till Studio: ThinkFilm Rated: NOT RATED Website: http://www.emmetttillstory.com/ Release Date: 2006-01-12 Director: Keith Beauchamp Music Score: Jim Papoulis WorkNameSort: Untold Story of Emmett Louis Till , The Our Rating: 3.50 Ask the average American which incident birthed the modern civil rights movement, and Rosa Parks’ bus ride is the…

FAIR TO MEDIEVAL

Tristan & Isolde Studio: 20th Century Fox Rated: PG-13 Website: http://www.tristanandisoldemovie.com/ Release Date: 2006-01-13 Cast: James Franco, Sophia Myles, Rufus Sewell, David O’Hara, Mark Strong Director: Kevin Reynolds Screenwriter: Dean Georgaris WorkNameSort: Tristan & Isolde Our Rating: 3.00 Ever notice how anyone who tries to defend Waterworld won’t come out and say it was a…

Glory Road

Glory Road Studio: Buena Vista Pictures Rated: PG Website: http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/gloryroad/ Release Date: 2006-01-13 Cast: Josh Lucas, Derek Luke, Austin Nichols, Evan Jones, Emily Deschanel Director: James Gartner Screenwriter: Bettina Gilois, Gregory Allen Howard, Marc Hyman, Christopher Cleveland Music Score: Trevor Rabin WorkNameSort: Glory Road Our Rating: 3.50 If the prospect of another reality-based Disney sports…

Hoodwinked

Hoodwinked Studio: Blue Yonder Films Rated: PG Website: http://www.hoodwinkedthemovie.com/ Release Date: 2006-01-13 Cast: Anne Hathaway, Glenn Close, James Belushi, Anthony Anderson, Patrick Warburton Director: Tony Leech, Todd Edwards, Cory Edwards Screenwriter: Tony Leech, Todd Edwards, Cory Edwards Music Score: John Mark Painter WorkNameSort: Hoodwinked Our Rating: 3.50 Though an animated spoof of a classic fairy…

HANDS ON DECKS

On last year’s Blue Note Trip German DJ collective Jazzanova gathered tracks from that label’s legendary catalog for a spectacular two-CD mix in hopes of spreading the jazz gospel. Since 1995 the six-piece Jazzanova tribe has mixed nu-jazz sensibilities with deep house and broken-beat dance rhythms, resulting in a slew of highly vaunted remix compilations.…

Happytown

The circus is coming! The circus is coming! Excuse us if we sound a little hysterical, but … the circus is coming! See, some people these days are of the opinion that circuses are traveling crucibles of evil, rolling down the line peddling animal abuse for the amusement of the kiddies. And by “some people”…

FRATERNAL INSTINCT

The Orlando Theatre Project continues its 20th-anniversary retrospective with an ebullient restaging of its 2002 hit comedy, A Couple of Blaguards by Frank and Malachy McCourt. The two-man entertainment, based on the lives of a pair of ne’er-do-well Irish brothers who both made good as immigrants to the U.S., once again stars the fraternal team…

THE TRAVESTY AND THE ECSTASY

The Internet is full of name generators that can instantly equip ordinary citizens with new identities as porn stars and other larger-than-life figures. But among fans of the so-called travesty ballet, a more specific taxonomy game is possible: What’s your Trock name? The choices are endless – almost. You just can’t be Sveltlana Lofatkina. Or…

BEERS FOR A RACIST

At the mention of Lee Cody’s name, J.W. Rich’s face turns from ashen gray to angry pink. His lips twist into a snarl. He shakes loose a cigarette from his pack of Dorals, puts it to his lips, flips open his Zippo lighter and fires. “I wish he’d walk in that door right now,” Rich…

DOWN WITH KIDS!

There’s a European television commercial that’s been posted all over the web that shows a father and his young son in a grocery store. The kid throws a bag of candy in the cart. The father takes it out. The kid throws it back in. The father takes it back out. Then the kid starts…

GETTING CARDED

;; ; Two weeks past the Christmas season, it’s become clear; that the gift card has supplanted the dollar as the basic unit of currency.; While you’re squeezing the last penny’s worth of purchasing power out of your; precious Target card, you might be wondering what kinds of highly specialized; vouchers the rich and famous…

I Love Television

“THIS WEEK! Super agent Jack Bauer returns in another exciting, pants-wetting, testicle-dropping, liposuctioning season of the Fox hit series 24! (8 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 15.) DO … NOT … MISS … IT!!” OK, how did I do? See, I’m really sick of scribbling TV columns and have decided to apply for the promo-writing job at…

News of the Weird

Feinting spell Bangkok economics student Panupol Sujjayakorn interrupted his studies in November to defend his World Scrabble Championship in London, one of many non-English-speaking competitors who achieved top-of-the-line ranking by memorizing up to 100,000 words in English without ever knowing their meanings. Like the others, reported the Chronicle of Higher Education, Mr. Panupol learned first…

Police Beat

JAN. 3, 11:30 A.M.: Remember last week’s column? The one; in which a prostitute stole a slumbering man’s wallet? Well, it appears someone; may have been taking notes, as we have a suspiciously similar crime on our; hands this week. The victim: A 56-year-old man, perhaps too; gullible. The suspect: A “drug-addicted prostitute,” 20 years…

Notable Noise

Say what you will about the French – because, Lord knows, they’ve got plenty to say about us – but their stylish, socialist state has actually figured out that the people who vote for you, rather than the people who finance your campaigns, are the important ones. According to an AP story, during a recent…

Blister

I wish I knew how to quit me. Tonight I’ve agreed to another bout with my flagrant redneck homosexual tendencies, signing on for what appears to be an Orlando Weekly film promotion involving secret butt-lovers with small vocabularies. Brokeback Mountain is here, queer and I’m far more than used to it. But, short of the…

Savage Love

I’m a married guy with a good job and a wonderful kid,; and my wife’s a good lady. The problem? Sex. She rarely wants/needs it, and; when I can get her in the mood it’s the same old dull routine. Same position, I; do all the work and it’s over in 15 minutes. I’ve tried…

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19) At New York’s Museum of Modern Art, I brought my face to within a few inches of Vincent van Gogh’s “The Starry Night.” Its stars were throbbing and voluptuous. The night sky shimmered with currents of spiraling energy. In the foreground, the cypress tree flared like a shadowy flame. Fierce, innocent,…

Letters

Radio wasteland You make some good points in your article about radio in; Orlando [“Notable Noise,” Jan. 5], but I have noticed that this problem is one; mainly here in Orlando. Many smaller and midsized markets have excellent; programming that is almost always located at the left end of the dial. I have; lived in…


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